Jock

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This is a typical weightlifter, who is pissed because he realized his penis just fell off.

This is a "female" body builder... technically female at least.

Grandmas work out too!

A jock in its natural habitat.

A jock is a form of asshole/retard who has a muscular body but is not necessarily a bodybuilder, and is obsessed with sports. They most likely were the object of your ire in high school, since they no doubt kicked the crap out of you.

As legend tells it, jocks are better than you because they are alpha males, and you are on ED because you're a bottom-feeder. Contrary to what you may believe, nerds like you do not go on to become powerful captains of industry once high school is over. Captains of industry are all alpha males too. You would probably be better off just accepting this situation right now instead of getting your hopes up about being the next Bill Gates - Bill Gates is secretly an alpha male who pretends to be a geek on the surface.

Jocks generally act tough and as if they have a big cock but in reality are just trying to be big because they have a baby cock. Jocks secretly fap to hentai because the sluts they say want them are too stupid to even spread their legs.

History

Jocks originally became popular At least 100 years ago in Greece, with the beginning of the Greek Olympic games. Common games played were wrestling (guys on guys in the nude, but somehow not ending with buttsecks), boxing, running (from teh gheys because all runners were butt naked), long jump, and other sports. These were all done with no clothes on. The Olympics were one of the big reasons that the greeks were known as fags.

In the 90's, the jocks were known as the coolest in all of society, because they looked good, had money, good grades (by cheating) and somehow were not killed by the poor or lusers. Since then, everyone has realized that jocks were assholes and now emos and goths are much more popular in high school society. However, some argue that emos and goths have never been popular.

Female Jocks

There are female jocks, which are somewhat rarer, and much scarier as they are all dykes and no longer real women. You can usually find them playing softball. Female jocks also have no boobs, which makes them completely uninteresting to men, except for wusses that have a BDSM fetish, specifically an interest in pegging.

Steroids

Jocks usually take steroids so that their penises become small, and eventually fall off. Being a jock does not require taking steroids, but they are commonly used. Organized sports is where you find most jocks, either that or low paying construction jobs, which are the only jobs most jocks can land.

Jocks as Underpants

It is common knowledge that Jocks is a slang term for a pair of underpants worn by a male. See Irony.

Jock Identification

If you think someone is a jock, then ask these questions to yourself:

• is said person an asshole?
• do they talk about "pumping iron" or exercise alot?
• are they muscular, or "working on it"?
• do they have problems saying words with mul-ti-ple syl-la-bles?
• are they incapable of intelligent thoughts?
• are they involved in organized sports?
• are they a redneck?
• if they are male, do they have boobs?
• if they are female, do they lack boobs?
• is the only game they own "Madden"?
• do they joke about being ghey to hide the fact that they are?
• have you never talked with this person?
• do they enjoy things like: Myspace, Facebook, Jocks4lyf3.com?
• is the person a homophobe?
• do they fap to football?
• do they have TAPOUT clothing?
• are they okay with group showering with other guys after a sweaty football practice?
• have they ever slapped a teammates ass in any circumstance?

If you answered yes to most of the above questions, they are most likely a jock, and if you answered yes to the questions 1, 4 and 5, they are most likely a retard, or President Bush.

See also

• Bodybuilders
• Dick Neck
• asshole
• prep
• greeks
• Sportsonly
• I'm 18, do i have potential??