Jagex
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Jagex is a company made by Andrew Gower at least 100 years ago, a trust fund kid from Cambridge, think of him as the Mark Zuckerberg of the UK. This goddamn Jew markets his shitty java game RuneScape, all of his riches come from 13 year old boys. The 13 year old boys who dote upon his every step have been found to be 59% furry and 100% gay. But we digress.
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Facts about Jagex
Jagex is British, so you know that everyone who works there is a major a Britfag or a cocksucker. The customer support also leads to alot of buthurt from the 42 year olds who run the support, and only want sex with children. People can sometimes be surprised about how bad the game is, but that is only because they use the simplest languages ever, Java, and fail. The graphics are like the world is to a severely autistic kid - blocky and fucked up. If, God forbid, Britain had a Better Business Bureau, Jagex would likely be shut down due to all the complaints shoved in their boxes; the number of which is said to exceed 900,000. Some argue that number will reach over 1,000,000 by 2012.
Hypnotism
Despite the fact that Jagex's customer support is worse than a FEMA response team after a Cat-5, kids the world over empty their pockets and open their mouths which welcome Andrew and Paul's dicks month after month. World Economics doesn't get moar real than this.
Moar Games Besides RuneScape
Jagex has only made one actual game that took more than 5 minutes to make (RuneScape), and if you visit their website their gallery of "games" consists of:
- Vertigo, a crap platformer where you roll a ball around on platforms to do crap. That hasn't been done before, amirite?
- Meltdown, 2D sidescroller where you shoot bullets from a ship to get out of somewhere. Hasn't been done before either, evidently.
- Flea Circus, where you herd retarded fleas out of caves. EPIC.
- Arcanists, an intense game where wizards try their hardest to cast from their magical wands. This obviously isn't a play off of Worms.
FunOrb
FunOrb is a minigame site made by Jagex, where many basement dwellers play crappy 2D games; nothing special.
How to troll FailOrb
- Create a few accounts on FunOrb, Four or more should do.
- Navigate to the Armies of Gielinor game.
- Enter the multiplayer lobby and make or find a game that has these settings:
- 240 seconds turn time.
- 6-8 players (8 for maximum BAWWWWWWWW).
- Team game.
- On your first turn, have your barbarian stand on the portal, then hit "End Turn"
- On the second turn, do nothing and wait.
- People will start telling you to end your turn. If you are even more successful, they will start flaming you.
You may also resign after the first turn, leaving your teammates behind.
MechScape
MechScape was essentially going to be the sci-fi RuneScape. It cost Jagex millions to create... but since Jagex somehow figured out that it would go the way of RuneScape, it was canceled. One on hand, at least they could smell the failure from coming, unlike the guys who made Tabula Rasa (what is it with sci-fi games?), but on the other, sucks to be them!
| —CEO Mark Gerhard, on OOPS!; |
Instead, the game will be replaced with Stellar Dawn, which is essentially MechSpace's appearance and different gameplay.
See Also
External Links
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Jagex is part of a series on Gaming |
| Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Jagex is part of a series on MMORPGs. |
