Death Note
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Plot
Death Note. Story by: Tsugumi Ohba (大場つぐみ) Manga by: Takeshi Obata (小幡健)
The plot is simple: Yagami Light (prononuced I'm-a-gay), a typical prep-school jerk, god wannabe, and part-time man whore, finds a magic notebook (teh Death Note) that kills people simply by writing their name in said notebook. After finding the notebook, Light calls himself 'Kira' which is the engrish way Japanese people say "killer". Apparently, this manga series is very popular in Japan. The only reason the series has even lasted this long is due to Yaoi obsessed fangirls turning all the characters gay. Some say this is redundant.
Sources say that Light Yagami is gay solely because Yagami spelled backwards reads Im a gay. The transcription of Japanese characters into Roman letters is never just a weak attempt to take two languages that formed in isolation from one another and make one vaguely coherent to speakers of the other, therefore this MUST have something to do with his/her sexuality, and nothing to do with the fact that it means "Night God."
Sources also state that the retarded detective L (yes the letter L, very original parents) finds that it would be a brilliant idea to CHAIN himself to Light with the excuse that he needed to watch Light at all times. To prove that he is not Kira. Also L states, in the animu/manga, that he needs to keep a eye on him, even in the bathroom. Creepy? Perhaps.
Sum the plot up faster? Light is an emo freak who wants to become god of all animu characters and thinks that by using the Death Note he will reign supreme, even though he still lives with his mom. But first he has to get past insane Pedophile L who only wants to capture him and chain him to a bed post. Fun!
Don't feel like reading?
Kira Kills Michael Jackson
For the greater justice.
Who Is Killing The Celebrities
The link has been found.
The Death Note
A person whose name is written in the Death Note accompanying a cause of death dies after six minutes 40 seconds. If there is no cause of death written, they die of a heart attack in 40 seconds. There's not much beyond that. He uses the book to kill criminals in order to create what he considers "the perfect world" and play God in it, thus achieving Hitler's unfinished work. Light made a mistake by writing his penis' name in the Death Note. Since he didn't write the cause of death it just died of a heart-attack.
Note: He's a fucktard.
Along with the notebook comes a Shinigami (死神 = Death God), the interracial mix of a Pokemon and a Tim Burton-esque mental perversion.
Light's shinigami companion is named Ryuk (Pronounced WRY-UK) which is of course a very retarded name. It is also the Japanese way of spelling Luke. He's also an invisible mansonite voyeur who's after Light's ass all day long (interpret it any way you want). He dropped his notebook near the scene of the emo kid's high school. When he was asked, he said "i did it for the lulz"; making every murder (including Ls) worth it.
If Freddy Krueger was called a "faggot" in Freddy vs. Jason for killing people in dream-time, what should we call Light for killing people with a fucking notebook?
Some people are so fucking retarded that they think this actually works. Then again, it might help if you don't bring your Death Note to school to show it off: Proof that Virginians are morons.
Characters
- Light Yagami: Also known Kira, Light Yagami is the protagonist of Death Note, and has a strong obsession with becoming a god. At first, no one wants him to be god because they realize his name spelled backwards is "Im a gay" and if America can't have a black guy for president, they aren't going settle for a faggot. It should also be noted that the anagram of "Raito Yagami" is "I am a gay riot." When he first meets L on his graduation day, he finds it awkward that a guy so hot and sexy is sitting next to him, so he immediately seizes the opportunity and starts hitting on him. Since L is goatse, he takes this as a come on "just as friends" and later gives him a foot massage. After L realizes Light was actually gay, he fakes his own death, and goes on a vacation to Disney Land. Light then takes Misa as his girlfriend to cover up his homosexuality. Light invented private schools to create a demo for his idea of a new perfect world. He will take a potato chip and eat it. He gets pwnt by Ryuuk as he no longer bore the sufficient amount of lulz to please the bored Shinigami.
- Ryuuk: An apple-addicted Shinigami and grinning homosexual rapist, Ryuuk makes possible the thousands of deaths caused by Kira for his own entertainment. He kills Light with the Death Note in the end, as promised, and then evolves into Gengar at Level 75 after being traded.
- L: The manchild 25 year old who is named L Lawliet who is a smartass detective trying to capture Kira. Lacks socks like Einstein, because the Jew doesn't know how to tie his shoes. He has a fetish for 16-year-old girls which was proven after he tried to rape Misa through volumes 4-7. The retard doesn't even know how to use a fucking cellphone. After finding out Light was gay he fakes his death, steals Misa's panties, and runs away to Disney Land. He has no friends and is a /v/irgin. His real name is L Lawliet, though he also goes by Ryuuzaki and Ryuga Hideki. He is the closest thing to Michael Jackson in the series, which is why everybody likes him.
- Watari: L's samurai manservant, Watari's purpose is to indulge L's rampant agoraphobia and act as liason to the Japanese police. He is also useful for headshots and DELETING FUCKING EVERYTHING. He is killed off by Rem as a fun warmup for Ryuuzaki.
- Mello and Near: After L dies, these two brats from a Watari's School For Gifted And Talented Children are chosen to take his place. Near probably eats his toys, his real name is Nate River, and Mello eats chocolate that doesn't affect his weight in any way because apparently, people who eat sweets don't get fat. All of the chocolate Mello eats goes straight to Watari's thighs. Mello is always dressed in some sort of tight black leather outfit, which is his way of soliciting for gay sex. His real name is Mello Yellow, which is almost as queer as Lawliet. Near is also a pedophile. This is obvious because he keeps a picture of Mello at 14 on him at all times for four years, until Mello comes to retrieve it. Mello doesn't even dare question what that suspicious looking crusty white stain on the photo is.
- Matt: Friend and henchmen of Mello. No one gives a fuck about him except millions of Gaia Online newfags who still think it's cool to cosplay on teh interwebz. He follows Mello around and plays video games while chain-smoking. He shows up for about 4 seconds in the anime and then dies, yet due to the fact that he's the posterboy for Hot Topic, he has more fangirls than Mello and Near put together.
- Yagami Sayu: Archetypical anime annoying-little-sister, known for bawling "ONII-CHAAAAAAN" and going squishy for Amane Misa. Five years older in the second season, she is barely legal fap-material for Matsuda. Is soon kidnapped and while saved, was scarred for life.
- Amane Misa: The slutty 16 year old faghag idol who wants to fuck Light until she dies. She's also another fucktard with a Death Note who would kill anyone if you wanted, and a camwhore to boot. Some argue that after Light dies, she herself dies of a broken heart.
- Rem: A female Shinigami who wants to fist Misa. This unnatural lust is exploited by Light to manipulate Rem into knocking off L and Watari for him.
- Soichiro Yagami: Light's father. Dies.
- Mikami Teru: An e-lawyer and OCD fucktard who just wanted appreciation from Kira. He fucks up Light's final plan and is lucky enough to get a branching death: In the manga, his faggotry is made less prominent as insults Light for leading them both to this, when, in actually, he was the person to fuck up. He later rots in prison, although some speculate Near killed him. Light by In the last episode, he pwnt himself with a pen when he screws up Light's evil plan. Should be noted that he likes sakujo and LOVES FUCKING ELIMINATING.
- Matsuda Touta: A n00b cop who is more useless than even Light's camwhore fake girlfriend and gay for Light's dad. Despite this, at the end of the series he proves he's more awesome than Light by busting a cap (or three) in his ass, even crying.
- Aizawa Shuichi: The Piccolo of Death Note, Aizawa is another useless cop good only for fetching L's constant supply of junk food. The token skeptic, at one point he blows up at Ryuuzaki who responds in typical emo fashion. Responsible for all closed pools in Death Note.
- Hirokazu Ukita: The Krillin of Death Note. Dies tragically early in the series but unfortunately there wasn't a Super Saiyan avenge his death.
- Takada Kiyomi: A worthless cunt and former ex-girlfriend of Light's, who re-entered the story just so everyone could get a look at her udders. She was under the belief that she would be Light's queen. She later became an hero when Light made her set herself on fire for the lulz of watching marshmallows get roasted over her flaming corpse. Mikami also tried killing her, which would be the ultimate epic win of the series.
The climax of the story comes when Light pretends he's an heterosexual by reading hentai magazines. Also, he dates several women to deny his homosexuality to his Shinigami, his father, L and even to his girlfriend. Fucktard.
And OMG it was supposed to be a horror comic. Even goatse is scarier.
Natural as it may be, Death Note will become popular between American DeadJournal users, anyone wanting to start a flame war will get humongous amounts of potential lulz.
Examples of typical Death Note dialogue...
(In the OMGSOAWESOME!!!1111 fansubs, no less.)
L: Light-o...
Light: Ryuzaki...
L: Light-o...
Light: Ryuzaki...
L: ...
Light: Desu Nooto...
L: Japanese-y shit that only Animu fanbois would find interesting.
Light: Shinigami...
L: *falls to floor* Shinigami... *twitch*
Typical Brilliant Scene from the animu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snOlQNRAYlo
Best dialog ever.
Death Note & Yaoi
As predictable, Death Note has spawned countless yaoi doujinshi, fanfictions, and fanart. The main duo featured is always LightxL or LxLight. Those are silly stories where they OMFG have anal sex like wabbits on heat and all that fucking jazz. There are also doujinshi with Light and other sideshows, like some nasty ones about the Shinigami's massive inhuman cock filling Light's ass. Sometimes mpreg is also featured; typically with Light being the one shoving a fetus out of his magical vagina.
Other popular Death Note Yaoi couples include Mello/Near and Matt/Mello. There are also many moar featuring the entire detective squad and Watari.
L's Foot fetish is pastede on yay
"Bound Prince": A RPG Video game
Last Thursday, a game entitled Bound Prince was released in Japan by a bunch of sick fuck fat fangirls who enjoy seeing L raping the fuck out of Light and eating donuts off his hard, 12 inch cock (I'm not making that up. Srsly). This is made all the more lulz worthy by the fact that L is obviously an autistic retard with the libido of a rock and the sexual aggression of a newborn kitten. Much lulz are to be had from the awesome dialogue in the game, which is fairly close to that in the animu, plus a few more grunts and orgasms.
JUST AS PLANNED
Like Naruto with his "BELIEVE IT!", Steve Urkel with his "Did I do that?", and Nazis with their "HEIL HITLER", Death Note now has its own catchphrase.
| — Light |
Whenever a certain thread or argument comes up on 4Chan and Anonymous tricks some poor fucker, there will always be a picture of Light with an evil look on his face from one of the episodes (or manga) with the caption, "JUST AS PLANNED." Or, if things go wrong, there is always a shooped image of Light frowning and the words replaced with, "NOT AS PLANNED."
It has yet to become as famous as Longcat and be its own meme.
There is a part where some guy starts eliminating people, (though some may argue that he's deleting them) and the Japanese way of saying eliminate is "Sack a Jew".
- Death Note Online is the new website for fanboys
The Manga Murders (IRL Drama)
Last Thursday, three Belgian men discovered the legs and torso of an unidentified white man in a park in Brussels. The corpse was accompanied by two notes which both read the misspelled Japanese phrase "WATASHI WA KIRA DESS." Now you would probably say that the notes were planted by Wapanese medical students as a prank, but the police, and professors of the University of Brussels medicine department, rule out this option. Besides this, the genitals of the victim had been shaved, a detail pointing to the homoerotic nature of the Death Note Manga. Secondly, besides Japan, Belgium is the only country in the world where comic books for children are taken seriously. It is most likely that Death Note has spawned its first copycat killer.
| — Anime News Network, [1] |
The old media are already calling this "The Manga Murders," and if great justice still exists in the world, this should spark an anti-anime backlash even more hilarious than the one caused by the UK release of Legend of the Overfiend.
This was not the first manga-related murder in Belgium. A year earlier a young mangaka, named Anneke van der Stap, went missing. Her decomposed body was found a few weeks later in a dark alleyway. Instead of coming to the most logical conclusion, the Dutch media spread rumors about a lurid manga-underground, filled with crime and mayhem. We all know Japanimation attracts some sick fucks, so for the lulz, let's believe the gutter press.
Music
The music is also SUPER HARDCORE EPIC TASTICALE.
Debu Note, a fat emo's Death Note
Death Note: The Movie(s)
In 2006 not one, but three Death Note movies were made. All Death Note fans think that was the greatest movie ever made. There are many differences in the movie, for one Light has a girlfriend whom he only has to hide his inner faggot. Another one is that Light's dad is the loud Asian guy on Iron Chef (no rly look for yourself), therefore making him an expert chef, cooking gourmet meals by day fighting crime by night, I AM IRON CHEF. The plot is pretty much the same, except more white people and Ultraman is on the police force (he's the guy that stands in the back).
The American version contains even moar faggotry
Gallery
| ALL KIRA ALL THE TIME | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Rating
Action: 4, for all the retardedintellibabble from Light and especially L. Also Watari is a level 50 in Team Snipers.
Lulz: 8 for some(see: a ton) of the over the top shit, such as Light eating a potato chip, his girly-man batshit laugh at the end, and for everything going JUST AS PLANNED.
DEATH NOTE MEETS MY IMMORTAL
If you thought My Immortal was bad, please check out Neva Guna Give You Up L by queensakurachan, the tale of a typical Mary Sue Sakura-Chan and a mysterious roommate named Raven...possibly Dementia Raven Way. Troll the fuck out of it, now.
KIRA - teh cereal killer HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, THE STORY WAS BALEETED.
It was good while it lasted.
The story was moved to DeviantART, and can be found here.
(Sadly, this move spawned many unfunny troll copies. Because who stoops so low to copy a troll, amirite?
The plot involves Sakura, your average super-genius-schoolgirl, falling in love with the mysterious detective L and searching Tokyo for him. She arrives at Tokyo University and immediately discovers Kira, then L.
A magical shinigami called Raven appears and Light kills L. Sakura swears to go back in time to save his life.
Travelling through time with Raven, who is apparently powered by apples, she meets Mello, Near and Matt. They form a band to raise money for more apples and Matt falls in love with Sakura's beautiful singing voice.
After a while they meet Misa instead of L, who is now a crazy lesbian. Misa tries to rape Sakura, but fails. Sakura tries to marry Matt, who is kidnapped by Light during the wedding. Matt and Light then fuck in a closet, while Sakura watches and screams.
She tries to marry L next, but he is murdered during their wedding by Misa and Near, as Sakura prevented Near and Mello from yaoing and Misa from raping her.
Sakura then decides she is a lesbian after all and marries Misa. Matt sets off a smoke bomb, and Misa kills everyone for some reason.
Sakura sets off to try and stop Misa with the help of her friend, Ichigo.
Sakura shoots Misa between the eyes and Ichigo de-friends her, due to the realisation that her best friend is actually a psychopathic murderer. Sakura then threatens to eat Ichigo, possibly as she has inhaled too many nail-polish fumes and believes Ichigo is in fact a real strawberry.
She teams up with m-preg Light and they both break into Ichigo's house to try to kill her. Sakura reads Ichigo's diary, at which point Yuki, her supposed best friend, reappears for the first time since chapter one. He points out that she is a shallow whore then kills her.
The last chapter, chapter 69, sees Sakura's funeral. Light has had Matt's twisted love child and Ichigo is engaged to Yuki. L and Light set Misa on Sakura in the afterlife, so that she can kill/rape her for all eternity. Such a happy ending.
The 'author' started 'taking writin lessons with a book' , so she could become a better writer. She received much praise for doing so from other fangirls of her work. However, it is now clear that this was part of a ruse, and the author was in fact testing the weeaboo community or some shit.
The author, queensakurachan, has said that she wrote the fanfic partly because she suffers from 'Mary Sue Syndrome' , which apparently means she's a hot girl who hates herself. This is not a real disease. She has also said that she's a lesbian.
| —Yume-Kami-Aika. |
The author appears to have several significant fangirls: MythicalBlossom, who appears to be a talentless suicider, so it makes sense that she'd like the author's story. Yume-Kami-Aika, who posted many reviews on the original fanfiction story, but has since seemingly become friends with the author. She wrote a spoof on the story, which contains slightly better spelling and more plot. Dilio who absolutely worships queensakurachan and her talent for writing, and makes fanart for the story. Cuz saku-chin iz awesum, amirite? There is also 'queensakrachanFAN', who is apparently in love with both Sakura and L.
In addition, queensakurachan receives epic win for actually getting a flamer to apologise to her:
| —Juunanaflavoredfoods. |
The reason for this is so far unknown, but it is an example of what you can achieve with manners, tenacity and wit.
She's also been known to be completely up herself.
Obvious Troll Rant
See Also
 |
Death Note is part of a series on Anime. |
