Iraq
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Iraq is the country everyone loves; home to races like the freetard, sandpeople, blackwater and more. In 2003, George Bush got butthurt after being taunted by the Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, they invaded and occupied the United States, raped the Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld administration which sought control of the nation's vast deposits of oil, as well as the profitable schoolhouse-painting industry (known among insiders as simply "the industry" or "the biz"). Iraq would also have served as a base for a future attack on Iran, but Donald Rumsfeld fucked it all up.
History
Iraq was invented last Thursday because American teenagers needed a place to party and rape underage girls after being denied access to such locales as Panama City, Florida and Padre Island in Texas. Also, there are far fewer seagulls stealing your Cheetos in Iraq than in them other places.
YES! YOUR Cheetos, MOTHERFUCKER! Whatcha gonna do about it? Whine and cry about the geopolitical atmosphere or kick some seagull ass and get them Cheetos back?
....bitch...
Iraq began to exist independently as soon as everyone realized that the Ottoman empire was never a real country at all, sending Dan Rather down in flames after his practice of reporting "live on location" from a location which didn't exist was thus revealed.
If you disagree with Operation Iraqi Freedom, you are either a terrorist, an America-hating liberal, or worse, French. If you agree, you are a true American, probably Christian, probably rich, and definitely a retard.
20 percent of all available bandwidth on the Internets is taken up by people arguing about Iraq (the other 80% is devoted to pr0n). On one side you have fat-fuck rednecks waving flags, and on the other you have hippies smoking pot intelligent individuals. The dialogue is never intelligent, informed, or very amusing; that is until a flame war erupts, and then it is GAME ON!
List of Iraq Faggotry
- Invasion of Kuwait (Cause only America has the right to invade - duh!)
- 9/11 (Saddam and Osama are both Muslim, 'nuff said!)
- Assasination of John F. Kennedy (Why not, might as well pin that on Saddam!)
- The sinking of the Titanic (Iraq is hot, and it stole the heat from the iceberg that sank the Titanic - elementary my dear Watson!)
- The Hindenburg explosion (Self Explanatory!)
- Pearl Harbor (All dem Azns look alike!)
- The Holocaust (Indeed, both Hitler and Saddam had the 'stache!)
- Boston Massacre (Boston Massacre/Falluhaj Massacre, Potato'/Pota'to - elementary!)
- Nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki (Fuck, even my sarcasm can't pin this on Saddam!)
- The invasion of Iraq by the United States (Self explanatory, nothing the US does is America's Fault, and Iraq's the only other country left!)
War On TERRAH!!
Fighting the War on Terror by invading Iraq is the equivalent of sticking some rusty syringes and a live grenade up your asshole to combat an upset stomach.
THIS IS AN ACCURATE COMPARISON
..O RLY?
Present-Day Iraq
Last Thursday, America elected a new president who promised to take the military out of the Persian Gulf. Since then, the public's attention has been refocused to moar important things. Due to these happenings, Iraq remains the same shithole that America left it. Some Argue that Iraq is actually worse now than when America invaded it, but most are just attention whores trying to stir up drama.
Praise for Iraq
"I believe that the government that governs best is the government that governs least, and by these standards we have established an exemplary government in Iraq" - Stephen Colbert, praising W at the White House Correspondence Dinner.
"The Earth is overpopulated, thank you for removing that million!" - Environmentalists praising Iraq.
"No Human Rights violations took place at Fallujah. The Bombs dropped were smart, nice & fluffy" - Human Rights Watch praising the Liberation!
"Thank you for handing Iraq over to us on a silver platter, while tying up the infidel army in a Quagmire" - Ahmadinejad's praise for W's actions in Iraq.
"Thank you for letting us raep you at the pump, while our allies at Blackwater raep Iraq girls; it is important to exchange feelings of hurt in cultural exchanges" - Oil Companies. (Military needs oil, Iraq produces less oil due to warfare. As demand goes up and supply goes down, price goes up, that's economics 101.)
Gallery
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 A traditional Iraqi greeting. |
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