Iran

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Mahmoud doesn't approve
Mahmoud doesn't approve
An early appearance
An early appearance
Police ladies chasing a shoplifter
Police ladies chasing a shoplifter
Iran never approves - mainly of Jews, Israel, happiness, and homos
Iran never approves - mainly of Jews, Israel, happiness, and homos
OPEC could not equalize or replace the iranian Oil production if War starts
OPEC could not equalize or replace the iranian Oil production if War starts

Contents

[edit] Iran

Iran is a nation full of people who wipe their asses with their left hands. Consequently, Iranians distinguish themselves from other shit-smelling Muslims, as they are in fact Persians. As with all Muslims, naturally it is common for Persians to blame everyone else, especially the USA for its problems.

[edit] History

Persia was a superpower at least 100 years ago, but in the wake of some severe pwnage at the hands of a Greek army led by a SPARTAAAN!!!, after spending what seemed like forever to get their shit back from the Greeks, they were pwned by the Romans, and when it was Persia's turn for some pwnage in return, they got pwned by the Arabs. However when the Greeks and Romans came, they came for rape and gold, but when the Arabs came, they came for rape, gold AND Islam, so what was once a nation famous for scantily clad women, wine, civil rights and education, was over night transformed into stagnant cesspit of marriage only sex, teetotallers, and misogyny.

To add more to this tragedy, it also hasn't helped matters that Iran is made up of Shiite Muslims, and thus is cursed by their own god, Allah, since everyone knows that all true authority comes from the caliphate of Abu Bakr and is of course not reckoned by way of the lineage of Fatima, retards. Still don't get it? Most Muslims (especially Arabs) hate the Iranians and pwn them in their own countries when pushed into doing so, shows Arab gratitude doesn't it, the Iranians only gave up their culture, way of life, dignity and civilisation for Islam, amirite?

Modern Persian history is short and uninteresting. The Persian Empire fell apart, the Persians told their Shah, to GTFO and had a democracy. Then there was this craze called WW1, but the Persians being noobs didn't get involved so when the Americans, the British and the Russians found out the Persians had oil, Allied "peacekeepers" were sent in to restore order and the rightful ruler the Shah. It was during this enlightened dynasty that Hitler advised the Persians to change the name of the country to Iran ("Land of the Aryans"), so Hitler could get some street cred for his scientifically valid beliefs. The Iranians didn't actually notice, as far as they were concerned, they were always "Aryan", "Persian" was just some faggoty label given to them by the Greeks, kind of like nigger or gook.

Then some time in the 70s, the Iranians got pissed off by Shah being constantly rear-ended by the Americans and British, not to mention all those decadent ideas from the West such as civil rights, feminism, liberalism, pornography etc were corrupting the youth and had to be stopped. President Jimmy Carter at the time promised to help his butt-buddy the Shah, but was instead fiddling away whilst Iran burned.

After all that shit went down, the Iranians naturally put a Mullah in charge, whilst one might bitch about booze and pornography being dealt away with, one must remember these guys made homosexuality a crime, lowered the age of consent (was 9f & 14m but as of 2002 legislation is now 12 for girls and 14 for boys so as long as it's married), and undid all the things feminists have had to whine and bitch so much for. However ever since Iran refused to be on the receiving end of their dubious relationship with West, they've been pretty much openly buying terrorists their gear and shit like a rapist being caught in broad day light. The Iranians still not content with their faggotry, then went on to troll the Americans by raiding the embassy in Tehran, needless to say, nothing of value was lost so the hostages had to wait 444 days to return home as no-one could really give a shit, but hey Great Honourable President Reagan apparantly thought they were worth saving so traded ballistic missiles for the irreplaceable skin-sacks.

About the same time in the 80s, Iran got butthurt with it's increasingly secular neighbour Iraq, so wanted to pwn Saddam Hussein and his "anti-Islamic" ways, both sides went into the equivalent of a shitty cat fight with the Americans and Russians donating whatever crap they could put aside towards the Iraqis. Despite fighting the war essentially alone against an Iraq which had been porked up with American and Russian gear, the Iranians managed to avoid losing, though they still failed to do anything like capture the delicious Iraqi oil. Despite this they still claimed they won...

So what is Iran up to these days?

[edit] How to Identify an Iranian

  • Has a huge, kike-like nose.(Albeit somewhat smaller than the ever-so-famous Arabs
  • Gets all butthurt when your country provides medical care for its abdicated tyrant
  • Holds you hostage for 444 days or 333 days or something and Jimmy Carter is powerless to help you
  • Is hairier than bigfoot.
  • Is proud of the fact that Freddy Mercury is from Iran and has no idea that Freddy Mercury is gay, lol
  • Wants to blow up Israel (incidentally the West too), but also wants fuck up those Arabs afterwards.
  • Wears track suits and gold jewelry and has a unibrow, kind of like a über feminime version of an Armenian
  • Is busy metaphorically rimjobing the prophet Muhammad who actually hated Persians and had his successor invade their country.
  • Masterminds terrorism in Iraq, Lebanon, and Palestine, just as all Muslim nations with disposable income love to do.


Image:iran-missile-test-fail.jpg

Fail + Shoop = win!

Image:Iran_missile_photoshop.jpg

Image:Iran has missles.jpg Oh shit.


Iranians Preparing for WWIII


 
 
Club Swinging in the House of Power


Iranian "Meel" Swinging of the Pahlavani martial art tradition in the Zurkhaneh ("House of Power")


Author thermaxgym '

 


 

[edit] Famous Iranians or People of Iranian/Persian Ancestry

Yeh that's it...

[edit] See Also

Xerxes, the Persian King, throws a hissyfit when -thousands of years after the Battle of Thermopyæ- he gets re-pwnt by SPARTAAA!!!
Xerxes, the Persian King, throws a hissyfit when -thousands of years after the Battle of Thermopyæ- he gets re-pwnt by SPARTAAA!!!


Iran
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