iCarly
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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iCarly is a show about the lives of two 13 year old lolis who run their own web show. The show was created as Viacom's next attempted at cashing out another child actor ever since Jamie Lynn Spears failed to realize that her mouth can't get pregnant.
The show came to be when well-known drama whore Maranda Cosgrove realized that she could get her own show using her special talents to persuade Viacom producers. Ever since, "iCarly" has become the most popular shows for 12 year old girls, fat ugly chicks, and desperate pedophiles.
Contents |
The Show
The show is based around the life of Carly Shay, your average American teenage girl. One day, Carly was in the teachers' lounge sucking her teachers' dicks for good grades when she saw that her teacher had pulled out a video camera. This gave the little whore an idea: "Why be a regular whore when I can also be a camwhore as well?" Teaming up with her best friend and well-known dyke Sam Puckett, Carly set out to become the most popular camwhore on the Internet.
Each episode of the show consists of Carly preparing for her next episode of "iCarly." In the process, she ends up getting into wacky situations including:
- Getting detention for prostitution.
- Breaking into teachers' houses for various reasons.
- Making fun of various citizens.
- Hacking into their middle school's computer network.
- Having a Super butthurt Haxor hack into their website so that he could get sympathy sex.
- Gang-rape a private school dean for the ball in her pocket.
- Having an orgasm every time they eat creamy pie.
- Teaming up with Fred to create mass drama when it was actually a hoax to get more page-views for their sites.
After they've planned their show, they then air their creation live to viewers across the interwebs on their flashy awesome php-built website because Washington State funds a great web page course for middle school students.
The web broadcast consists of using weird props and gags to create a sense of funny but it usually ends in the creation of a blast of concentrated anti-lulz. When Sam and Carly aren't having three-ways, four-ways, and five-ways with hot men and beautiful women of all ages, showing clips of Carly secretly masturbating in public or showing people how to use sex toys, they're airing a video submitted by their fans. Most of these videos consist of "Who Can Shove What Up Where," Goatse imitations, and clips from the Pain Olympics.
Considering that no mentally sane person would laugh at any of the "jokes," the show must recycle the same fucking laugh track and cheering sound effects. As if the jokes aren't bad enough, the fact that the producers think they're SO FUCKING FUNNY and the overused laugh tracks will make you want to commit suicide, as you should you pedophillic sack of crap. What the fuck are you doing watching Nickelodeon anyway? Also, why was this article created?
Characters
- Carly - When it comes to lolis, the best type is the sluttiest, and it doesn't get sluttier than Carly Shay. Like many other girls her age, her main drive in life is to have the most attention ever. Unlike most of the gabbling whores of today's generation, she has a brain. She's one of those spoiled little shits that always gets what she wants and if she doesn't, she always finds a way. When she can't get it, she gets her slave to persuade the opposing parties. This is one teenage girl you do NOT want to mess with. She also appeared in a bikini in one episode for normal people fap to her.
- Sam - Sam is the second of the two loose gals on iCarly and the local neighbourhood dyke. Famous for her role as Stephanie Tanner, her main role in the show is to rape the living shit out of everything that moves with her massive, raping dildo. One of her most notable targets is Freddie. Whenever she's not penetrating an innocent bystander, she's filming a new web cast with her Mistress Carly. She provides the comical element to the show. Most /b/tards hail her as the prime example of the average female on /b/. This theory is false because there are no girls on the internet. She had writing on her stomach in one episode, clearly displaying her readiness for /b/.
- Freddie - The camera guy for the show. He is super leet with his Computer Science education, and he's only 13. He got tricked into becoming the camera guy for "iCarly" when Carly pulled the classic Friend Zone trap which Freddie couldn't resist--the little pussy. Freddie is the only person that Carly won't fuck, suck, or even plop em' out for and he still does her bidding. Whenever he isn't crying in the corner jerking off to MCR, he's being constantly raped by Sam, and when it's not Sam, it's his bitch of a mother who was last seen on Malcolm in the Middle. He probably enjoys it seeing that he kissed Sam which simultaneously made fat girls squeal, pedophiles fap, and made innocent channel surfers who were just looking for the Packers game puke shit Zalgo fashion. He would later go on to build an imageboard.
- Spencer - The older "brother" of Carly. In reality, he is a pedophile posing as Carly's brother. It all began when he was hiding in a dumpster waiting for a sweet little girl to walk by when he noticed Carly walking with the real Spencer. When Carly got distracted by a possible business opportunity, she left the real Spencer to wait near the dumpster. Later that night, the sick fuck of a pedophile--we'll call him Mitch Conner--had now disguised himself as Spencer waiting for the right opportunity. Not only is he able to hide his pedo ways, he landed in a pedo goldmine. He is considered a hero to most.
- Nevel - The show's /b/tard. Apparently, this nerd decides what websites are "kool or nawt." When Carly found a loophole in his bullshitty plothole, Nevel gained a 5-foot boner then torments Carly on the later episodes.
Fandom
iCarly fans can be considered the most pathetic people on the Internet. They lack the ability to congregate even into the simplest forum and have the brain capacity of an average Arby's customer, making them dumber than the average /b/tard. iCarly fans can be summed up in three main categories:
Fat Girls
You know those fat girls that wear the latest fashions, have their hair in that greasy ultra-tight pony tail that shows off their whole fucking scalp, and act super slutty. The one (two?) girl that everyone takes advantage of. They make up 70% of the "iCarly" fans. Whenever they aren't parking their scooty scooter in front of a TV, eating their weight in Big Macs and Taiwanese Orphans, they are using their fat greasy fingers to write a shitty "iC@r/y Ru\z" comment on a skull fuckingly bad fan video.
A rare variation of this breed is a male.
Seddie
These group of fans can be compared to Zutara fans of "Avatar" in which they're demanding that the producers have Sam and Freddie get together and fuck like it's the end of time. One theory is that Seddie fanatics are actually Zutarafags who are still baawing over the ending to "Avatar."
Desperate Pedophiles
The pedophiles that watch "iCarly" are incredibly pathetic. These are the guys who can't even get a simple nude pic, let alone get a little girl to eat their candy. A lot of these pedophiles are actually trying to study the actions of Spencer in order to use his actions on the pedophile front line.
Trolling methods
Trolling an "iCarly" fan is as easy as paying Rootbrian's dental bill for the rest of his life AT ALL. It is nearly impossible due to the fact that none of the fans have the mental capacity to create a decent working forum for trolls to do their handy work. Most attempts at trolling "iCarly" fans end in tragedy.
When you do have the ideal opportunity to troll a fan, your best bet is to:
- State that Sam and Freddie will never be together.
- Tell the forum owner that he/she/it is a sick pedophile.
iCarly Fan videos
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iCarly YouTube Poops and General Hate Videos
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Shameless Advertising
iCarly has become so popular by every little shit in the world that Viacom has seen fit to sell every known type of product under the iCarly brand name. These include:
- iCarly DVDs
- iCarly music tapes
- iCarly sports drink
- iCarly dildo
- iCarly fleshlight
- iCarly blowup doll (now with Freddie)
- iCarly lead-based toys
The producers even saw it fit to tweak the names of IRL products so they wouldn't have to pay for licensing contracts. For example: Pepsi Cola changes to Peppi Cola, iPod becomes PearPod and Shamwow to Shampow.
"Singing Deals"
And when you thought that was it the stupid cunt of an actor, Miranda Cosgrove, decided to start a singing career after recording the shitstorm of an opening theme.
| —Petey, the Head Janitor at the Recording Studio. |
External Links
See Also
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ICarly is part of a series on Whores. |
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