Homosexuality
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Homosexuality is a progressive mental illness in which the sufferer is overcome by sexual feelings for others of the same sex. This neurological disorder is most commonly caused when the afflicted subject has such deep resentment for a dominating parent of the opposite sex that all members of that sex become repulsive by association. Often as the sufferer comes of age, the level of faggotry begins to slope up in the form of a quadratic function, rather than the typical linear model predicted by researchers and other faggots of the like.
In some rarer cases, the cause is a generalized reaction against normalcy, triggered by a negative response to the thought of healthy adult relations. Normally, it's God who hardens the homosexual's heart to act against His will. And it's also a choice, too.
Other common causes of homosexuality include the faggot having been sexually molested as a child by an adult of either the same or opposite sex, or heavy drug use by the faggot's mother that occurred during pregnancy causing a hormonal imbalance.
Sometimes kids become gay if their parents let them play unsupervised in vats of harmful chemicals.
Homosexuality is positively correlated with the mental disorder pedophilia, and all fags are prone to molesting children. Their purported attraction to members of the same sex is a misguided exercise in the search for an alternative to normal sexual relationships. The subjects are also inherently self-hating and intellectually dishonest in their quest to achieve an ostensible popular acceptance. The homosexual who does not seek treatment is aware of his/her illness and must be in a state of constant denial, often convincing others of their sanity with smoke and mirror tactics. All in all, gays are an important and contributing part of modern society. See Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job as an example.
Medical Classification
In DSM-I, Homosexuality is classified among sexual sociopathic personality disorders, while DSM-II through DSM-IV are invalid because they were edited by deviant homosexuals with forged APA credentials.
Homosexuality is not to be confused with "Lesbianism", as same-sex attraction among women is perfectly normal, attention-seeking behavior. Moreover, it usually involves anal penetration by the penis, and there's at least 2 pairs of breasts involved. Clearly this behavior is non-progressive and ends once the observer runs out of tape, and is thought to be instigated by temporary vaginisitis.
Ongoing research indicates that some men may choose to become homosexual in the womb, and that fetal Faggot Gene screenings combined with prenatal homicide will drastically lower the number of unwanted babies brought into the world.
Medical science has proven it's only gay if the balls are touching or if the dick is in the ass the eyes of either anal comrade are open while internally probing.
The problem with homosexuals (for them anyway) is that they will never reproduce, so there should be no worries that homosexuality will spread beyond those already gay, unless they are converted. This works in the same way that becoming a zombie goes. Zombies cannot have zombie children (yet), and the only way to become a zombie is by being captured by one of them and made into one.
The gays are NOT people. They have no rights and only act like they have feelings.
The History of Homosexuality
Homosexuality was devised by Hitler as the Economical Solution to the Jewish Question, comprehensively limiting Zionist reproductive abilities at minimal expense. The plan failed horribly when the disease struck the general population,even Hitler's own son (Conrad Ankers) shaming Hitler into committing suicide as the Nazi Party adopted Plan B.
With the advent of Homosexuality, thousands of years of peace and prosperity came to an abrupt end, and the disease continues to spread at an alarming rate.
Terminology
Main Article: Homosexual epithets
The word Faggot is derogatory and slanderous, unless applied to sick homosexuals. As Ann Coulter sagely noted, however, the word's lost its meaning as faggots have too much acceptance, so the word has become no more than a generic schoolyard insult. The commonly accepted definition of gay is "GAY IS NO CAN PENIS TO PUSSY!!1!".
The word Gay is an acronym for "Got AIDS Yet?".
Religious Perspective
| —The Bible, Leviticus 20:13 |
Homosexuality is a horrible evil, and anyone who suffers from it must either be cured or put out of their misery. Homosexual activity is punishable by the death penalty under several nations that follow Islamic Sharia Law, including Saudi Arabia and Iran, and penetration is not required.
The Bible also advocates death by stoning, not cutting hair on the sides of your head, not wearing more than one type of thread at a time, selling your daughter into slavery and not eating seafood (I SHIT YOU NOT), but most Western preachers, Fred Phelps excluded, are too pussified to take the proper moral stance.
There was once a loophole for Catholic priests, provided they were only attracted to underage boys. This loophole was recently closed due to multiple instances of legal action.
It is also obvious that the lack of explicitly mentioning female homosexuality in the Bible (no sodomy means no male-on-male butt sex, cos heteros taking/giving it up the ass are exempted) gives a subconscious consent to lesbianism over male homosexuality in society, which can be witnessed by the higher respect towards fans of Yuri over those of Yaoi.
Homosexuality and Adolescence
Sometimes, some families look good on the outside, but there are big problems inside. Daddy screams a lot. Mommy doesn't know how to make things better, so holds you and tell you about her unhappiness. While Daddy doesn't love you, Uncle Peter does... but at night, he touches you in a way that makes you feel weird. You wish that Mommy and Daddy didn't fight. Maybe it's your fault.
As you grow up, people start calling you hurtful names, and you start to think that maybe you really are gay. This is when you should talk to your school guidance counselor. They will help you realize that what you feel is natural. Your desire to copulate with other males is simply a way to replace the love that Daddy didn't give you.
Having a secret ghey affair that only you and your man friend know about. Take out of state trips to dry hump each other, and expose your ghey love to strangers.
Environmental Factors
As science tells us, the level of geyed someone is is determined by various environmental factors. This is due to the fact that once a homosexual accepts the idea that it will never be like the rest of us, it begins to go through an ongoing process called cumsumption. In this processes, the sufferer rampages through it's environment searching for resources such as Hollister Clothing (lolzgay), Speedos, Macy's Accessories, Edible Lotion, Gerbils, and Creme Brulee. The fagsectivore will cumsume for the rest of it's years, aimlessly searching for happiness butt will never find it.
Inspirational Videos
Just pure Asian gayness.
Donnie Davies is living proof that Homosexuals can be re-trained, although not completely reintroduced back into society. However, failure to successfully re-train an individual may result in the following dangerous situation:
Apparently, R&B boy bands members are gay(Skip to about a minute in)
Tomboy then released this music video in response to Donnie Davies and his rehabilitation:
Of course, the content of the video is a complete and utter lie lulz.\
This is what happens when faggots get out of line!!! Their mutherfuckin ass beat!!
This was at the "No on 8" rally in California, probably in teh motherland of all faggs, San Fagcisco.
He called me a homo. Typical fag response to the truth
A movie made by christ-holes about homosexuality and how it will ruin your life.
Very inspirational video.
Homosexuals in their Natural Habitat
The homosexual is the most misunderstood of all mammals.
Homosexuals getting some exercise.
This TV station's contestant screeners were obviously asleep at the wheel, the host spotted him right away, though.
Homosexual Self-Identification Guide For Young Men
Teenage homosexuals are often awash in hormones, and tend to experience confusion about their decision to become gay as a child. Homosexuality is a treatable but permanent affliction, and these indicators can help anyone who has doubts about their sexual identity:
- You have a pronounced lithp.
- You are attempting to reclaim one of these words amongst the queer "in" group.
- You don't enjoy lesbian porn.
- You are afraid to be raped by a loli.
- You can break a man/bear's anus.
Finally, if you are an ED administrator there is no doubt you are indeed, homosexual.
Politics and Demographics
Overview
There are no laws in the civilized parts of the world that oppress gay people, meaning that's the only thing the Arab people have better then us. Due to the lack of laws protecting us, the proponents of Gay Rights claim that homosexuals deserve rights and privileges above and beyond those held by everyone else. Current laws endorse marriage among heterosexual couples because of their unique ability to expand the tax base. The notion of marriage among homosexual deviants is unnecessary and counter-productive, akin to polygamy and incest.
United States
The democratic party places perceived victims above all other constituents, thus it remains the popular choice for homosexual support. In US politics, 99% of all professional homosexual politicians are actually closeted conservative republicans, and several dozen are outed every year. The Democratic Party is at least 50% gay.
Australia
Hot and sticky, a perfect habitat for fags. There over-breeding has created a desret wasteland run by gay-bikers as depicted in the award winning documentary Mad Max, narrated by Mel Gibson.
Iran
There are no gays in Iran, I don't know who told you there was. We do not experience this phenomenon in Iran. The president of Iran personally went into every bathroom stall in Iran looking for gays and found none. He did find this great little glory hole in a gas station in downtown Tehran, slobbered a knob, but didn't take a census of the faggotry cause he was busy. Busy with cock in his mouth.
San Francisco
Name means Saint French. Gayest city in the world.
Catholic Church
One of the oldest and most traditional gay organizations is the Catholic Church. Being homosexual and molesting altar boys is an elementary requirement of membership. Since openly gay men were persecuted and discriminated over previous centuries the catholic church came to the conclusion that to preserve their boy loving lifestyle they should pretend to oppose homosexuality strictly.
The head of this organization is called the Pope. The key requirement to become pope is to have a long history of committing and hiding child surprise sex and the ability to suck a golf ball through a key hole.
The official priest motto is known to be: "They can't be too young, just too tight."
Political Perspectives - The US Nigger/Fag Paradox
Although Slavery was funny, many homosexuals believe Slavery provides a common ground between Gays and Blacks as persecuted minorities, and thus makes them natural allies in the struggle for Civil rights.
Blacks seem to reject this argument, claiming that being sold onto a boat and shipped across the ocean to be beaten, raped and killed with impunity contrasts poorly with the "right" of poking your dick up some truck drivers asshole at the local rest stop.
This proves that blacks are Homophobic and secretly wish to be Gay themselves.
Threats Against Heterosexuality
While homosexuality is a choice for the vast majority of people, there are a few threats that may cause permanent or untreatable gayness.
- The Gay Bomb
- Prison
- North American DONG Party
- Bridget
- Children Television Shows (See above)
- Tent Peg
- Bill
Major GPCs
Where gays hang out and suck dick. Avoid these areas at all costs, or you will get the AIDS.
- San Francisco >9000% gay
- New York City 14.2% gay
- Seattle 12.9% gay
- Atlanta 12.8% gay
- Minneapolis 12.5% gay
- Boston 12.3% gay
- Sacramento 9.8% gay
- Portland 8.8% gay
- Denver 8.2% gay
- Washington D.C. 8.1% gay
- Orlando 7.7% gay
- Iran 0% gay according to President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I suppose the rest of the world would experience this "religious phenomenon" too if homosexuality was punishable by death
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Videos
- Gayer than the Gayest Gay Video Ever
- The New Gayest Music Video Ever
- The Gayest Music Video of South America
- Boys Beware, Homosexuals Are On The Hunt
- A strong contender for the gayest video
- Sing If You're Glad To Be Gay
- Gayer than the Gayest Gay Gay video EVER!!
- I am Gay (motherfucker makes a ;3 face)
- If You Are Gay
- An Obviously Gay Couple Shows You How To Help Your fellow Fags (warning: too long)
- A cute saucy short film any dill burglar would love ;
- It's okay guys, let it all out :3
- Warning about gays
- DEFINITELY TEH GAYEST
Famous Gays
- All of these assholes
- Dumbledore
- Elton John
- Jameth
- Quentin Hubbard
- Tfo
- Trap-kun
- Angry gay pope
- Callum Ross
See Also
- AIDS
- Angry Homo Kid
- Buttsecks
- Faggot
- Gaydar
- Gay hanky code
- God hates fags
- Homosexual epithets
- Heterosexuality
- Homophobia
- Lesbian
- No homo
- Not gay
- Proposition 8
- I know a lot of gay people
- Gay Teen Forum
- fitlads
- Jonas Brothers
- Uncyclopedia
- White People
- Atheist
- You
External Links
- The pentagon was considering making a bomb that causes homosexuality
- Indisputable and completely factual scientific information that homos don't want you to know
- Part 2
- Part 3
- This answers all the questions you may have
- Pantiesformen.com - YOU KNOW YOU JUST CANT RESIST CLICKING HERE
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Homosexuality is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants |
| Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Homosexuality is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders. |
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Homosexuality is part of a series on Gay Republicans and Closet Cases. | ||
