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Hannah Bond

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This page is a WARZONE — It is highly unlikely that there are lulz between the e-bullets, but seasoned Æ veterans can be expected to clean it up once the retarded participants stop their editing.

Interesting Fact:
This article contains an hero.

not only stupid, but fuck ugly too.

Hannah "Swinger" Bond was a 13 year old EmO pOsEr!!11.fan of the band My Chemical Romance. She is noted for becoming an hero by hanging herself, and the shitstorm ~~her parents~~ retarded MCR fans have caused about her death.

1 AN HERO
2 Old Media's Reaction
3 8/5/08
4 The Shitstorm
5 The article
6 Gallery
7 See Also
8 External Links

[edit] AN HERO

Before the bitch was even in the ground, her parents started going to various media outlets blaming My Chemical Romance for her daughter's suicide (instead of their shitty parenting). This definitely couldn't have been prevented by paying attention to warning signs that she was going to kill herself, and it's definitely the shitty band's fault that she died. No really, it is the band's fault.

[edit] Old Media's Reaction

Several lulzy articles in British newspapers The Telegraph and The Daily Mail were penned following this tragic turn of events. Lulz include comparing emo faggotry to a religion, as seen in this quote:

“	She had secretly chatted to “emo” followers online all over the world, talking about death and the glamorisation of hanging and speaking about “the black parade” - a place where “emos” believe they go after they die.	„
—The old media has clearly done its research

So Hannah now is clearly in the Black Parade for her an heroism, enjoying her 72 virgins (screamo band keyboardists).

NEVAR FORGET

[edit] 8/5/08

On May 8th, a number of courageous /b/tards stumbled upon her memorial page and posted links to it on 4chan. Needless to say the site was swamped with lulzy comments from bored Americunts and insomniac Britfags. A total of ten pages worth of suicide jokes, meme spouting and a healthy dose of necrophilia were posted and much lulz was had by all. Of course, the owners of the memorial page being 13-year old kids guaranteed that the best was yet to come.

[edit] The Shitstorm

When her friends came back from school the next day and realized that their precious memorial page had been fucked with, they promptly complained to the Bebo admins. The Admins, however were too busy sucking their own cocks to care about some shitty memorial page and the shitstorm escalated from there. As the evening wore on, and more /b/tards came online to survey the havoc they found themselves in a particularly savage flamewar, which continued throughout the night and into the next day. It was only after 1pm on Saturday 10th May that the banhammer started coming down. The current state of her memorial profile is unknown, but the clear moral of the story is that bebo admins are some of the laziest fuckwits out there.

[edit] The article

Since its inception soon after the bebo raids and not long after her death the article has become one of ED's most furious warzones. The mass blankings and reverts have provided their own form of lulz. Here is what some of the more literate members of the emo community have had to say about the article on Hannah Bond:

“	If anyone actually cared about what all you idiots think about hannah, you wouldn't get messages attacking you! leave her alone and let her be. She is not a poser and was not an emo 'follower'. shut up all you journalists, dimwits, and haters. she did nothing wrong. She was just upset and needing some love. You have taken any love she had away from her and more, even after death. Go away and to be honest you should just delete this article altogether. it doesn't need to be here. neutral or biased, it's only doing everyone harm.	„
—Xpoisonxgirlx failing to understand the userbase or purpose of Encyclopedia Dramatica

“	Its low and discusting to make jokes about a tragic event, It sickens me so I cannot find words for it. There are no words for such scum.	„
—Jrod1195 on not having a dictionary

“	Why write this Its horrible	„
—Hiphoppopsawah on rhetorical questions and unnecessary capitalization

“	The person who write this just got this shit off a newspaper and wants to make it worse since they carnt live their own sad lives so they have to wreck everyone elses thats just not fair on hanah she didnt say to her parents "I want to kill myself" she wouldnt have thats what the newspapers say becasue they just want a birra gossip to tell but theyre shit liars , she had things in life wich made her feel down and things and she didnt think life would be worth living because it was so hard for her and what i heard she was a nice friendly girl and she was very pretty but whoever wrote this needs to get a life and like i saiid if they have a problem tell me bout it xxskyexxjonesxx@hotmail.com i dont think it faiir that people are judging her wen they obv didnt know her ! R.I.P Hannah x x x x	„
—XoxIndy-cindyxox's reply to the question, "In a single sentence, tell us about retrospective psychoanalysis and the merits of the British Journalism establishment"

“	I Dont cear How Old This Page Is but Iv Been Doing Research For My Drama Exam And Our Play Is About Teen Suicides.... I Think That Yuu Sick Bitch who Wrote This Artical Needs To Get A Grip And Look At The Big Picture... What yuur Saying Here Is Completely Wrong and Yuu Need To Think About Who Yuur Hurting Ino to Many People who Sufferd From Self Harm Or Sucide Related Things And Im Quite Offended By The Bullshit Yuuv Wrote If Yuu Think That What Yuuv Sed Here Makes Yuu Cool Then Yuur Wronge And It Just Makes Yuu Completly Sick In The Head ... YUU NEED HElP ... So i Suggest Yuu Get It If Any Ones The Poser Here Its Yuu Get Yuur Life Sorted Yuu Sicken Twat...	„
—NotSoHurt (clearly ironic sn) on how much YUUUU suk, in dramatically unnecessary capitalization and, well, I don't really know to be honest. Note she makes it a point not to capitalize personal "I".