Handegg

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The great debate, as heard from the side that matters

Typical American football players, fagging up the field.

Messing with football could result in being permab& IRL.

Not to be confused with Soccer. People seem to fuck this up. It is football internationally.
Nor to be messed with.

Handegg, or "football" (to weirdo Americunts), is a "sport" activity ONLY played by Americans because of cultural OBLIGATION having invented it, no choice. With its use of tights, body armor, under eye make up, fanny pack and helmet (and the QB Snap routine where he mounts his mans "A" hole) it is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals, as it is a required part of most young men's high school education. To Americunts, the game the rest of the world calls "football" is to them called "soccer". This makes no sense, as soccer is clearly played with feet, and yet their bastardization of a real man's sport seems to involve no kicking whatsoever. This particular misnomer only serves to further the entirely accurate allegation that the Americunt IQ is even smaller than your micropenis.

American football, aka Gridiron, being a bizarre game descended from rugby (but without the talent) as Gridiron caters for unskilled fat non athletes who cant play sport. With America as the only nation who play Gridiron because of cultural obligation having invented it, if Gridiron didnt suck, it would be played outside the nation it was invented where there is not a cultural obligation..but no one does, because it blows. In a way its a pity Gridiron has zero interest outside America as talentless ridiculed fatties from other countries who get marginalized and left out of playing real sports, would then have Gridiron to play.

In Gridiron everyone gets told what to do after every stop start, stop start, stop start...mind numbingly boring play, "MOVE FFS", there is no innovation and "no one thinks for themselves" - J.Cleese, its an activity devoid of any skillful moments "the only creative thing are the beer commercials", its kiddies game of Bump (only in tights and body armor) and they get multiple attempts as they keep failing. A bemused Sting (like all of us) on NFL - "i dont get it, its like wrestling in crash helmets". Also the "Fat fairies in tights" have to wear pussy armor and helmets to protect their pansy asses from getting hurt. Instead of running around like in a real sport, timeout is called in between every play to make the unskilled fatty retards catches their breath. This ensures that the players dont get tired while playing the game and is a huge reason (as well as #1 cultural obligation) that the activity is popular with lazy obese Americunts.

No form of football has much to do with the internets, as most lard-loving basement dwellers avoid any sport like the plague—especially a semi-contact one that involves running. The only exception is fantasy football, in which a bunch of fags draft players and get points based on stats, in which they increase the size of some kind of IRL Fantasy Football e-peen and also possibly win some bullshit prizes.

People from other countries such as Mexico are under the dillusion that Soccer, it's real, international name, is actually football. This is because they don't speak English. This classifies them as retarded, insignificant, and gay. If they call it Football, obviously they simply don't matter in the world and should be rightfully ignored or told that Peyton Manning is the greatest FOOTBALL player ever to live. If they correct it and say something to the likes of "No ese, es futbol americana, puta estupida", you are granted the right to cockslap the individual until they bleed.

LOL HANDEGG

Gallery

No. 28 Thomas Goatse hopes to play for the Rams some day LOL	Goatse employs an unusual method for snapping the ball	Totally rape	Two East High players show how many fingers they got in the frosh's butthole.
Not always forced.	You are so damn cute!	A similar routine at VTech	East High School team member striking a pose
Team spirit!		Typical high school football players

See Also

• East High School Salt Lake City
• DONT MESS WITH FOOTBALL
• Not Gay
• Superbowl XXX
• Touchdown Thurman Thomas
• Rax Grissman
• 18-1

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