Guitar Hero

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A typical Guitar Hero player. Notice his fat fingers, and how DDR is crammed into the corner.

A typical scene in Guitar Hero.

Guitar Hero is an unoriginal video game that requires you to glue your eyes to the television and hit the same damn buttons for the next 5 minutes. Guitar hero is the game of choice for all 13 year old boys, as well as emos, punks, stoners, and pedophiles. The only real reason that it's popular is because faggots with Down Syndrome think they are the best guitarist ever. If you see somebody getting 100 percent on expert mode at a Gamestop make sure to troll them by pressing the frets while they're playing or "accidentally" bump the guitar.

Be warned - this game provokes an awful lot of USI, and people boasting about how they got 92% on Through The Fire And Flames.

Sometime last Thursday, it was announced that the next installment would branch out into drums and vocals, possibly in attempt to compete with Rock Band. Yup, nothing says "Guitar Hero" like banging on plastic drums. It also has the ability to record your own songs and send them to others.

Jews are forbidden by their God from playing this game. They must play this game instead.

Niggers are also forbidden to play this game. Instead, they play Get On Da Mic.

1 Gameplay
- 1.1 Warning
2 Exemplar
3 Quackadilly
4 Guitar Hero on South Park
5 Guitar Hero on Nintendo DS
6 Rock Band
7 Gallery
8 External Links

[edit] Gameplay

No, Wikipædia is definitively not skewed toward pop-culture. It's for the childrens!

The idea of the game is to hit colored notes falling down the screen which correspond with guitar sounds in the song you're playing. Star power is implemented by shoving the guitar in your ass and playing notes with your dick. If you can play expert at a decent level it is said you would be able to play a guitar in real life, so long as it's plastic, only has five buttons to hit, no strings, and is hooked up to a gaming system. If it is not anything like the device described above, then you will undoubtedly end up doing it wrong. The gayme is also know for it's drug like effects it has on the player. For example after finishing song, look at your roof. Does it appear to be sucking it self in?

[edit] Warning

It's been scientifically proven that becoming good at Guitar Hero will give you the mistaken impression that you have talent. Seriously, it's not a real guitar. This for wannabees who play too much air guitar.

Ignore this warning and suffer.

[edit] Exemplar

No exceptions.

A real Guitar Hero.

This douche has obviously never been laid and never seen the light of day.
If the poor sap had actually spent more time playing REAL guitar, rather than Guitar Hero, maybe he would be halfway decent-- maybe. Unfortunately, he lacks teh brane sellz and is clinically stoopid.

An guitar hero's fantasy.

In some sick, demented way, this person was praised for playing a fake guitar.

[edit] Quackadilly

Quackadildo THE Guitar Hero

Here is another example of a real Guitar Hero, except he is not azn or obese. Quackadilly is obviously an attention whore and enjoys making videos to show off his skillz. The numerous comments that Quackadildo's fans leave him are proof to remind him that he truly is a Guitar Hero. His long fingers suggest that he is quite talented with his hands. This would help score him some chicks, but since he plays Guitar Hero, he is quite obviously just a faggot. Here is a video of Quackanutsack and his gay lover jamming on REAL Guitars.

[edit] Guitar Hero on South Park

South Park made an episode on guitar hero called "Guitar Queer-O", which can be viewed here.

There's also a fascinating attempt at recreating their parody of said game here that's also a piece of shit to begin with.

[edit] Guitar Hero on Nintendo DS

As if releasing an entire game based on the shitfest that is Aerosmith wasn't bad enough, Guitar Hero has made it's way onto the DS with two Exciting new features to the Guitar Hero experience. First, Activision decided that the guitar controllers weren't retarded enough, so they added a worthless hunk of plastic that forces you to hold your DS in the most convoluted, cramp inducing way possible, ensuring the only thing you accomplish while playing is looking like a tool. (Which is technically the whole idea behind the Guitar Hero series anyway, amirite?) Second, they decided that the song list wasn't Gay enough, so they finally did away with Harmonix's tradition of adding a few bands that can actually play worth a shit. Therefore, out with Bang Camaro and Queens of the Stone Age, and in with such venerable rock legends as Smash Mouth's 'All Star' and Maroon 5's 'This Love'. FAIL.

[edit] Rock Band

In 2007, the same game company who created Guitar Hero created a game called Rock Band. It is just like Guitar Hero, except with different songs and a variety of instrument controllers, much like Konami's Japan-only Guitar Freaks and DrumMania.

It is said to be "more real" than Guitar Hero, but the people who say this are the same people who have to be picked up by their Mom from middle school.

They then decide to form a band with fellow playground buddies, and create massive lulz, hoping to be featured on Myspace Music.

A side by side comparison of Guitar Hero and Rock Band

Emofags generally prefer Guitar Hero to Rock Band due to only requiring one person to play. They prefer not having to associate with other people or (Heaven forbid) going outside to visit someone who forced their parents to blow at least 100 dollars on this box of gay.
Weeaboos don't openly admit to playing either game as they are both American creations, however, when no one else is looking, they can be found furiously failing Through the Fire and Flames on ~~Expert~~ Any difficulty, if it's not a Japanese RPG or Super Smash Brothers ~~Brawl~~ MELEE, they're screwed (a first for any Wapanese).
Because Rock Band was developed by Harmonix, occasionally you'll find a band that can actually play worth a shit. Guitar Hero, however, packs the highest amount of both failure and AIDS seen in a video game since Final Fantasy X-2. Don't believe me? Linkin Park. The Used. Slipknot. AFI. Foo Fighters. Coldplay. And for fuck's sake, I Am Murloc. Did anyone ever stop and think 'Wait a minute, this song is even more Completely Fucking Gay than the Village People!' Srsly
(Although in Guitar Hero's defense, Rock Band features Fall Out Boy and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, resulting in a big fail, but not as massive as Guitar Hero's.)
To date, Rock Band has released at least 100 downloadable tracks. Of these tracks, only three are worth your time.
Rock Band comes included with a Fender Stratocaster game controller. Despite the name, the only thing this controller manages to copy from its counterpart is its absolute failure to work properly.