GoldPrincess

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

GoldPrincess will DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING in order to hide from trolls, so screencap that shit for much continued lulz!

Ashleigh Brett, aka GoldPrincess, aka "Sakura", aka "Uni", aka all sorts of animu bullshit, is an 18 yr old (remember she was in a coma for 2 years) weeaboo DevianTARTlet that is OMFG A REAL SAILOR SCOUT MMKAY?? Her mary sue SailorPluto recolor, named Uni, is crapped out all over her gallery and is totally original, so don't steal. SailorUniverse (or Uni, for fags) is covered in crucifixes and gold and some kinda nazi armband, proving that GoldPrincess is just out to offend the jews or the christians or perhaps both. In true weeaboo fashion, the character's alternate name is Princess Sakura (which apparently is the only fucking Japanese name in existence), and she controls the universe and is better than all other scouts put together, making her power level OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND!!!

I'd like to stress that SailorUniverse is NOT Ashleigh. Not at all. See screencap to the right to prove it. Even though various drawings have them standing side by side, looking exactly the same, and they have the same listed age and SailorUniverse talks to Ashleigh inside her head and they both have adventures with Link and stuff, that is no reason to assume that Ashleigh is a sad and pathetic individual who has no life. Absolutely not.

When not shitting multicolored bricks of self-insert all over DA, Goldprincess enjoys being married to Link, being comforted by her imaginary friends because she's unpopular and drawing tranny-looking incest.

As is the case with these kids, her life plans include majoring in graphic design and minoring in Japanese. This means working at the Starbucks on the college campus for life, hanging around the Sanrio store and submitting to and being rejected by various amerimanga fanzines. Let us know how that works out for you.

Ashleigh also wants to be an officer in the Air Force. Srsly.

Contents 1 ASHLEIGH IS DYING! AGAIN! 2 TROLLING VIDEO 3 ANONYMOUS RESPONDS 4 MOAR FAIL 5 GP Answers The Trolls 6 Quotes 7 LINKS

[edit] ASHLEIGH IS DYING! AGAIN!

One interesting thing to note about this artist is that without exception, EVERY piece of art she posts online somehow cost her a body part. This girl has been "almost in the hospital" more times than a chronically pregnant teen, except that at the last minute the teen found a wire coat hanger near the dumpster behind her apartment. We don't know what kind of last-minute reprieve GoldPrincess may have found.

Apparently each and every one of GP's pieces takes near-Herculean fits of strength and endurance to draw, which is kinda sad considering how shitty and generic they all are. Maybe she can only draw them by ramming the pencil up her ass and sitting down on the paper repeatedly, in which case I might suggest splurging on the super-absorbant eraserheads. They cost a little extra, but you can't put a price on peace of mind, Ashleigh. Also, one time she shat in the neighbors yard and lied about it for the name of art. Habeeb it.

One might suggest that, given the amount of near-death experiences and permanent daily cripplings, Ashleigh would be better off just NOT DRAWING. But to do so would deprive the world of her personal expression.

At any rate, the comment box of every artwork is inevitably filled with whining about her limbs falling off or going cross-eyed blind after intense fourteen-day drawing sessions which invariably only produce more crappy animu. God bless you, GoldPrincess, for having the strength to endure.

[edit] TROLLING VIDEO

Ashleigh decided one day to TAKE DOWN THE TROLLS and posted a long and utterly boring video on YouTube, causing all trolls in the vicinity to laugh and say UR DOIN IT WRONG.

Her brilliant and inspiring vision of trollage smackdown basically amounts to a ten minute TL;DR YouTube of her, her hot fat friend and some faggot walking around her house while Michael J. Fox does the camerawork. Seriously, couldn't you find ONE friend to hold the camera who wasn't having an epileptic fit at the time? Or is a third friend just a strain on your resources in general?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S9i9CtAhdY

TRY IT YOURSELF: While watching the video, look for the 3:51 mark where her balls finally drop.

The video is neatly divided into two halves...the actual video, and bloopers. PROTIP: if your blooper reel is as long as your main feature, you either have a huge ego or just suck balls. In this case, it's both.

At any rate, this girl seems to really believe she has acting ability and isn't just greasing up the camera lens with her bad skin and chunky companion. I feel sorry for the friends in this video. They were clearly added to make it look like a legitimate team effort. Maybe they believed it was, but to everyone else, it's clear Ashleigh gets off on the sound of her own voice and no one else's.

Acting: Like watching non-English speaking immigrants be coerced into auditioning for Oklahoma.

Camerawork: 70% of the video is aimed at the air near or reasonably close to the speaker's head.

LENGTH: Jesus christ, only an egotistical maniac would make a TEN MINUTE MOVIE ABOUT TROLLS and hog all the lines for herself.

Defining moment: Ashleigh and Fatso walking in dramatic slo-mo with a large toy gun into her own garage, presumably to hunt internet trolls. Silly weeaboo, internet trolls is on the INTERNETS, not in your garage! Perhaps that's why you haven't taken any down yet...you is looking in the wrong place! Oh weeaboo, you are funny. Also, I hope you die in a fire.

Bottom Line: I think the fact that they define trolls in this video with the common phrase "I'm just trying to give you honest critique on your art!" is pretty telling. Not everyone who tells you your art needs work is a troll, Ashleigh. But everyone will say it regardless of troll status, because it's true.

[edit] ANONYMOUS RESPONDS

In response to GP's troll video, Anon had this to say:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HX8Ah8Fq7A

FBI-chan also responded:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of-AlvXfBHg

But as a namefag channer, the second response was made of far less pwnage. Good use of mudkips, tho.

[edit] MOAR FAIL

Admits her character is just a trace of Pluto. LOL BALEETED DUE TO BUTTHURT.

Shows off her anatomy skillz and HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT THING IN THE MIDDLE.

Shocked that Link got more attention from this comic than her mary sue character! OMG u ppl r so meeeeean!

Okay, really now. Who would want to wear this shirt?

[edit] GP Answers The Trolls

After the initial wave of trolling on DA, GoldPrincess claimed she is highly honored to be made fun of. However she also claims that Sailor Universe was invented before she even KNEW what fan-based sailor senshi was, so that makes it OK to be full of rip-off and failure. Screencapped at right for your viewing pleasure. What a fucking cuntbag.

GoldPrincess responds to Anonymous' video on YouTube!

“	"Honestly, I'm honored this person took time out of their (obviously not) busy day to tell me how much I suck. They must really love me~"	„
—GoldPrincess' loved ones always tell her how much she sucks, so this just makes sense

[edit] Quotes

GoldPrincess is insulted that you demanded accuracy in your commission!

“	"sooo this was a task given to me abooouut....2-3 months ago by my play director. Yes. I'm participating in my school play this year, and it just happens to be about the Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe...... ...when I showed this to the cast though, the people who're playing as the 4 childeren said "it looked nothing like them"..... Psh. Well excuuuuuuse me! You can just go get yourself a friggin' professional to do it then and get to pay God-knows how many hundreds of dollars for it!!"	„
—Goldprincess sez BAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

GoldPrincess doesn't get why successful art has to be good.

“	"And it makes me question my society. Why does everyone have to be good at everything in order to be successful? So...y'know...if the art is lacking...it ain't my fault."	„
—Goldprincess, blaming society.

GoldPrincess has lost everything. EVERYTHING. CAN YOU IMAGINE.

“	"Way to break up your fan community by taking the forums down. You just flushed REAL people's goals, dreams, work, effort, dedication, and friendships down the DRAIN. Great, now I'm gonna cry again... I had so much going on at that place. I had an art gallery, a joint contest with my bf, his fan fiction, other contests I had entered (none of which will get the chance to end now so everyone's work goes to waste)."	„
—Goldprincess, on the closing of Nintendo forums FOREVAR.

Speaking of video games, did you know GoldPrincess was introduced to Japanese culture through Legend of fucking Zelda? IT'S TRUE.

“	"...Everytime I look at this, I want to cry...I found out about a "tribute to Miyamoto" contest on the Nintendo forums about 36 hours before it ended.I thought to myself...'I NEED to contibute...even if it's rushed.' That man has done so much for me, and he doesn't even know it. Through LoZ I've discovered my love for art, the Japanese culture, found my boyfriend, and figured out my future career. And of course I’ve enjoyed countless, priceless games because of him. I got my entry in at the last possible minute........and I didn't even have time to finish coloring it...or do a decent background... You may ask, "Well, why can't you finish it now and submit the final version here?" I could. But then I would look at the actual one I submitted with hate....and anger because it's crap. There are entries so much better than mine that were submitted... (damn it...now I can't stop crying...) ...It just kills me how I couldn't do my best!! It's like, if can't even do this right, I'm useless. And I just got out of oral surgery, so I'm in a hell of a lot of pain right now."	„
—GoldPrincess, doing what she does best...being in terrible pain and crying.

GoldPrincess walks into Hot Topic in a cosplay costume and the ensuing trolling makes history as the first good thing to ever happen inside a Hot Topic.

“	"Ok...so THEN...mom dragged me to the freaking MALL across the way for about 2 hours. I....was dressed....as Orihime (Karakura High School uniform). Ok? People stared at me like I was some kind of alien. I mean...literally stare...as I walked by. There were a few other cosplayers in there who were passing the time and browsing, but evidently people didn't understand that there was a con going on next to them. I cannot tell you how awkward I felt. AND I just HAD to make the stupid mistake of walking into Hot Topic. Sure...they sell anime stuff there...but maaaybe I shouldn't have gone in actually wearing...the anime stuff. This freaking hot guy...not only stared at me...but shook his head at me...like...the 'I cannot believe you' kind of head shakes. ASDFGHJKL!!! I wanted to cry. I was like "ok...mom...get me out of here I wanna go back to the con where people accept me for this before I explode". -_- "	„
—Goldprincess, on being an IRL lulcow.

GoldPrincess is NOT a sensitive whiny artist...she just doesn't want you to comment on her flaws or she'll feel bad!

“	I discouraged crits not because I'm "sensitive" like a lot of people, but I know there's a lot of faults in this one and it would just annoy me to no end if people started them pointing them out to me.	„
— GoldPrincess, who just defined what a "sensitive" artist is."

And lastly, here are some heartfelt quotes. God, she gives and gives until she can't give no more, YOU VICIOUS BASTARDS!:

“	And I have a cold....*sobs*	„

“	If I get sued....maybe it'll happen when I'm in the hospital bed from working too hard and they'll feel sorry for me.	„

“	*cries an ocean* What a waste.	„

“	God, I'm tired.	„

“	And as with all my best pics, I lost sleep over this one...	„

“	*sniffle* Oh the agony... I'm think I'm dieing from things to do. Help me...*wines like a 2 year old* I'm really tired but I have so much to do...I even got sick from it all yesterday and stayed home from school...what the hell's this world coming to...	„

“	It's the only fic that's ever driven me to tears...	„

“	OMG IT'S OVER. We can all cry with happiness now.	„

“	I need to practice more *even though it's physically impossible to do more than what she's already doing*.	„

“	I almost had a heart attack while doing this one.	„

“	I've had a fever...for 4 days...and it keeps going up... I'm not even gonna go into all the other things wrong with me. x__x	„

“	And I only got only 3 hours of sleep thanks to this piece of crap.	„

“	And I couldn't stop crying this afternoon. My principal had to come talk to me and tell me she would do everything in her power to get this resolved before I could finally calm down a little.	„

“	I'm working...all...the freaking time. Rarely do I get a break. (yeah, even when I'm sleeping, long story)	„

“	I started crying my eyes out (and usually I don't cry over art but...well read my journal if you haven't).	„

“	Great, now I'm gonna cry again...	„

“	I wanted to cry.	„

“	I almost cried when I finished this!!	„

“	I can't remember crying so much in one night. It's unheard of with me. I'm known for my stubborness and tough heart. Why am I flippin' crying now??	„

“	So yeah, I was basically stuck at home the night of the dance crying my heart out...	„

“	I'm hoping and praying that'll give me the strength I need to move on. Things just feel very dark right now.	„

“	I could do it. Yes, I could. I could make it alone…never leaving my home. There would be no more yelling, no more fights. No one would make fun of me…no one could tell me what to do. I wouldn’t have to drive…and risk my life every single day. None of that. Ever. I’d have the internet, and live by that. Everything would be ordered…and everything delivered. My art would be sold online. Yes, just me and my art. That’s all there would be. I can’t get hurt like that, right? I’d be safe. There’d be no husband either. I’d be alone, all my life. No kids, no relatives. No one. Because people hurt me…one way or another. I don’t want any of it. I’d cut my own hair, paint my own house, and be my own employer. Just me and my art, that’s all there has to be. I’d live in a house way up in the hills. There I’d be hidden, and no one would care. I wouldn’t get hurt…never…ever… No one would know if I was alive or dead. But at least I’m alone…and safe. Away from the world…away from the hate…That place isn’t meant for me. I’m not as good as them…not as smart…not as fast. So this way is best…staying apart…the best way to heal…this aching heart…	„

[edit] LINKS

Ashleigh has deleted her contact infos from DeviantArt out of shyness. You can help her overcome her social awkwardness by mailing her some dongs.

• her Myspace - private.
• DevianTART page
• Her animu website.
• / lol, guyz, she's on Gaia too.
• Email: sakura_linkstarlight@yahoo.com
• AIM: Sakura Ashleigh
• Yahoo: sakura_linkstarlight

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