Professor Glenn Beck

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

“	I'm not an expert, I'm a thinker.	„
—Glenn Beck's slogan

Glenn Beck is the token Bill O'Reilly on commie TV news network CNN. A Conservative Bushie masquerading as a Libertarian, he is most assuredly a homosexual pedo and will soon be as fat headed as Rush Limbaugh since he was recently 'voted' the MOST ANNOYING MAN ON TV. Before being given an hour long TV show on CNN, he was admittedly an alcoholic, cokehead and Top 40 DJ who got his own Talk Radio show after giving up the hookers and blow and converting to Mormonism.

Glen suffers from chronic "Foot In Mouth Disease" and often speaks directly from his racist, sexist 'heart' before running it by his brain for editing.

“	Cindy Sheehan is a tragedy slut.	„
—Glenn Beck, August 15, 2005

As if almost being intentionally bent on causing butthurt among liberals, Glenn has accused the USA's first elected Muslim Congressman, Keith Ellison, of being an Al Qaeda operative [1] and called Rosie O'Donnell a "fat witch" [2], even though everyone knows both of these statements happen to be true.

“	Al Gore's not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization.	„
—Beck Godwins on carbon emissions

Glenn's attempts at creating lulz often backfire. On his February 28 2007 show he came on to US Weekly's Dina Sansing during their discussion about nude photos of an American Idol wannabe.

“	Dina, I've got some time and a camera. Why don't you stop by? No? OK.	„
—Glenn Beck

The most uncomfortable pregnant pause evar (wait for it!!!)!

Contents 1 Personal Life 2 Beck Vs. Ron Paul 3 Common Glenn Beckisms 4 See Also

[edit] Personal Life

Glenn Beck is a respected family man who enjoys practicing his ridiculous moon religion while drinking himself to death. This is typical right wing behavior.

[edit] Beck Vs. Ron Paul

After Glenn Beck called all Ron Paul supporters terrorists, over 9000 Ron Paul fanatics got pissed off and declared that they are boycotting CNN and all of its advertisers until Beck sucks their cocks.

“	On 11/12/2007, Glenn Back implied that any person who supports Ron Paul is a terrorist. Yes...that is a complete misrepresentation of the facts, but this just means we are now in the attack phase of the campaign. Given the current state of our media we will likely see alot more reporters purposefully attempting to misguide the public about the message of Ron Paul and his supporters just because we are a real threat now. The best way to deal with this is not to attack Beck or CNN...we all know they are just trolling for attention. Beck's show has been sliding in the ratings, and its time to put the final nail in the coffin. Take 5 minutes out of your day, and contact any of the following companies...and tell them you'll boycott their products until they pull their advertisement from Beck's program. We need to make an example out of Beck, for all future talking heads that will dare call Americans terrorists just because they are supporting Ron Paul. Some posters have suggested Glenn Beck should be fired/forced to resign for his statements. I agree. Glenn Beck should be fired/forced to resign. You may demand this of CNN, and inform his advertisers of the same.	„
—Ron Paul Freak, foaming at the mouth

The really lulzy part about all this is that Beck soon after had Ron Paul on for an entire show, and one easily got the impression that Beck wanted to suck Dr. Paul's cock based on his opinions.

[edit] Common Glenn Beckisms

“	Hello, ya sick, twisted freak(s).	„
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“	I'm not a <INSERT PROFESSION HERE>, but I'm a thinker...	„
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“	Get off my phone you sick freak!	„
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“	What do I know? I'm a recovering alcoholic DJ.	„
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“	Chicks dig me. It's a cross I bear.	„
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“	It's not about left and right, it's about right and wrong.	„
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“	Let's call a spade a spade.	„
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“	Political correctness is going to be the death of us.	„
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“	It makes blood shoot out of my eyes.	„
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[edit] See Also

• Troll
• Bill O'Reilly
• Rush Limbaugh
• Hal Turner
• CNN
• Ron Paul