George Washington
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
George Washington is wrongly regarded as having been a somehow significant figure in the founding of the United States, when in fact he was a notoriously horrible military strategist with a pear-shaped body. Nonetheless, he was the nation's first president.
Not to forget, he couldn't have done what he did, without the help of the French (or as they are known in France les cunts ).
To his credit, he wouldn't allow anyone to call him "His Excellency" or "Your Excellency" or "That Guy Over There, Yeah, Him, That Guy's Excellency, It Truly Excels" or anything like that. But Washington's deficits included an inability to have children (ha, ha) and the kind of schoolmarmish faggotry that would lead a general to advise his troops thusly:
The General is sorry to be informed that the foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing, a vice heretofore little known in an American army, is growing into fashion. He hopes the officers will, by example as well as influence, endeavor to check it, and that both they and the men will reflect, that we can have little hope of the blessing of Heaven on our arms, if we insult it by our impiety and folly. Added to this, it is a vice so mean and low, without any temptation, that every man of sense and character detests and despises it.
Whatever, fag.
George Washington is also credited with pwning the Red Coats out of teh US of Eh and permanently sticking his boot into King George's anus. Since then the British have been scared so shitless of the United States that they do whatever we do. Except for in 1814 when they came back and pwned the USA all over it's fat face in a re-match.
The true founders of the United States were batshit crazy Thomas Jefferson and radical pervert Benjamin Franklin.
Fun Facts
- Washington has a myspace: "CLICK ME, BITCH!"
- George Washington was totally gay for Abe Lincoln.
- George Washington killed his sensei in a duel and he never said why.
- George Washington was also good friends with King George, of England.
- George liked 1700's disco, and raving.
- George Washington once held an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid at a party "lulz".
- George reportedly had a wig for his wig and a brain for his heart.
- George grew hemp and would cringe if he knew faggots like Ronald Reagan would come along and illegalize it with their war on drugs bullshit.
- George Washington had scrotal hypospadias.
