Genital Herpes
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Genital Herpes -or Herpes Simplex B (but more commonly known simply as "herpes") is a DNA virus which is God's gift to The Lulz. It won't kill you but once you have -like a red tattoo- it's permanent.
A permanent STD that, according to advertisements for herpes medication Valtrex, will cause you to live a more glamorous life: riding horseback through the ocean shores of California, white-water rafting in the Colorado River, riding a motorcycle through the chilly evening desert plains, and climbing the rugged terrain of the Appalachian Mountains.
In fact, you get genital herpes because you are a whore. Feel free to treat those with genital herpes like the smegma-sucking, santorum-licking low-life shits that they are.
However since 1-in-4 Americans over age 12 have teh herp, good luck with that. Imagine, if you will, going to see your local baseball team and the stadium is at near capacity...10,000 of your fellow beer swilling, hot dog eating brethren are herpetic. Feel better now?
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[edit] Known to be Infected
- * Pencilleadproductions - It's fuckwits like james' who hear "I have herpes but you woln't get it cuz like that doesn't happen" and all they can think is "I gunna fuck you without a condom then brag about it on IRC". Then 6 days later when they get a cold sore, deny having teh herpes... Do you wanna be a james?
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[edit] What to do if you have herpes
The proper treatment for genital herpes is with bacteriostatics and antivirals, such as acyclovir. Acyclovir should be taken orally in 200 mg doses 5 times per day (for a total of 1 g daily) for 10 days. Oh, what's that? Your stupid health care system doesn't provide you with prescription coverage? No problem: you can always practice the tried-and-true method of just not telling people that you have herpes because, hey, you're not contagious if you don't have active sores, right?
[edit] Celebrities With "Da Herp"
- David Hasselhoff
- Fred Durst
- Paris Hilton
- Britney Spears
- Ron Mexico
- Jessica Alba
- Violet Blue
- Da Fonz
[edit] It's not a herpes lesion
It's...
- A "cold sore"
- Just dry lips
- A gift that keeps on giving
- Pustulent squelae filled with purulent fluid and exudate
- AIDS
- An optical illusion
- Hepatit...Hepot...Hepa- screw it. If you're already at the point of having sex, she's asking for it and it's your obligation to stick it in her pooper.
 Genital Herpes is part of a series on Dying Alone | Those Who Have Died Alone
Anna Nicole Smith | Brandon Crisp | Charmaine Dragun | Codey Porter | Heath Ledger | Lilo | Megan Meier | Mitchell Henderson | Otoya Yamaguchi | Ricardo Lopez | Ripper | Rudolph Zurick | Shawn Woolley | Tyler Dumstorf Those Dying Alone Ahotwheelscar | Anonymous Borg | Argent009 | Bikerfox | ByAppointmentTo | Chris-chan | Chuck M. | David Hockey | Epic fat guy | Fagolescents | GoddessMillenia | Kevin Havens | Lecarick | Nullcherri | Pit Viper | Ricki Raven | Sceptre | Snapesnogger | TheSockDetective | Ulillillia Their Methods 4chan | AIDS | Anime | Booze | Bullying | Dead Friend | DeviantART | Drugs | Fleshlight | Self-seclusion | IRC | Jenkem | LiveJournal | Lonely | MySpace | Online dating | Online sex games | Plastic Crap | Plenty Of Fish | Vloggerheads | YouTube |
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