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In the kitchen

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Where women should be, proof just like they have been for at least 100 years. If you are a woman and on teh internets, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich. Feminazi whores have been complaining about "in the kitchen" for at least 100 years. This complaining will continue until a Real Man stands up and starts pwning their stupid whore mouths.

Contents

Things you will find in the kitchen

  • Pots and pans
  • An oven (Warning: may be hot; shove your 13 year old brother into this. A Jew is fine too).
  • A fridge, this is a gr8 place to hide the body of your 13 year old brother after roasting him to death in the oven.
  • At least 100 sporks, if there are 99 or less then you need to buy more. This may require whoring yourself out to 1000 fat chicks, but it will be worth it.
  • Women who know their place. If there aren't at least three, then you need to buy more.
  • A clock in the stove
    PROTIP: Always use this as a defense whenever a woman asks for a watch(Following with a disciplinary slap is optional required).
  • Your mom, she's either there or in my bed.
  • A sammich... and crack... in Pyrex bowls

Fun things to do in the kitchen

  • Stare into the fridge for half an hour, looking for chocolate.
  • Grab food, possibly delicious cake, out of fridge and insert into mouth.
  • Practice goatse
  • Lick the cold inside of your freezer, resulting in your tongue being stuck.
  • Drink beer and eat pizza
  • Have sex on the kitchen table
  • Stare into the fridge again
  • Stare into the fridge while having sex.
  • Have sex with the fridge.
  • Shove the fridge up your ass.

Reasons to let her out of the kitchen

  • If she is Samus Aran and promises to commit at least one act of genocide and/or desecration of holy areas before she comes back.
  • So she can buy a gun and become An Hero with a murder suicide, thus proving that she can do it even though you can't, you emasculated bitch.
  • To get more food so she can come back to the kitchen and feed your fat ass.
  • So she can distract the FBI with her boobs while you evacuate your sex toys, you sick fuck.

Gallery

How-to

The King Knows what to do!

Peter Coffin's Parody of women not listening the first time.

Metallica knows where women belong.

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