Gaza War

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Israel's new flag

The new Palestinian flag.

Gaza furry convention under attack

In AD 2008, War was beginning. Since last Thursday the Arabs in the Gaza Strip have been shooting rockets into Israel because the Jews have been blockading the region to stop the Arabs A) from shooting said rockets and/or B) getting food. Its a beautiful system eh? Anyway It all came to a head when the Jews got bored of a temporary cease fire and decided to surprise buttsecks the Arabs and invaded the region, killing about everyone. Needless to say it was time for some collateral payback and Jew rage of epic proportions. Much butthurt and BAWWWWWWW ensued and like with every tragic event in the news lately, so did the lulz.

How it all began

What the Americans think of the whole thing

God's chosen people protect teh country

If you attend public school, you may not be aware why joo's and the Chickpea people are fighting over such a shitty piece of land in the first place. Well toward's the end of WWII, Churchill, Stalin, and President Michael Wilson were all thinking "OMGWTFBBW what are we going to do with all of these Jews?" Rather than say, intergrate them into their societies they decided to dump them all in their "ancestral homeland" or something. Well it turns out that when you do not live in a location for over a thousand years, other people have a tendency to mosey on down and setup shop.

Since the only thing more annoying than living with Jews is talking to Arabs, the Allies helped the Jews establish a state with as little input from the people currently living there as possible! And so began the 20th century's greatest mistake, Israel.

Why so hilarious?

Hamas showing their love of lulz

In its efforts to spread peace and democracy throughout the Middle East, the United States thought it would be a good idea to let people who uniformly despise Israel hold elections to choose who should lead them . This resulted in Epic Fail as the Palestinians overwhelmingly elected the evildoers of Hamas in a landslide victory. As democracy and freedom rang throughout the West Bank and Gaza, Bush and Israel initiated a desperate effort to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING and when this failed began to BAWW about how bad the future for the Palestinians will be under Hamas.

TL;DR Hamas won and nobody could say Shit.

For awhile all was calm until 2007 when Hamas decided to Rape the Palestinian authorities Fatah party and kicked them out of Gaza. It then proceeded to troll Israel with rockets and blockade breaking, which is pretty weak ass shit as these rockets were about as dangerous as dongcopters. When asked why they were continuing to spam Israel with ineffectual rocket attacks, Hamas leaders simply stated that they were doing it for the lulz. Unfortunately for Hamas though, Israel likes lulz too.

Thus began their 2 week mission to kill as many Palestinian's as they can. With white napalm. Or at least smash as many windows as possible.

To avoid any confusion when Israel gets put on trial for war crimes when the bullets finally stop flying, the Jews sent a battalion of lawyers into Gaza to preside over the mass seizure of Palestinian property for purposes of charging rent in the ghetto.

And the shit just began to roll

Hamas rushed reinforcements to the front lines

What the western media refuses to show you

In response to Hamas’ faggotry Israel decided the best course of action was to begin an epic bombing of Gaza in the hopes of killing all the Muslims once and for all. Cue the drama.

The Arab world reacted with its usual calm approach to things. France immediately demanded that both sides surrender, and when it became clear they would not, offered to do it themselves. The UN immediately failed to pass a resolution demanding immediate talks aimed at passing a resolution to discuss the crisis. While all the Americunts immediately grabbed their 2 liter bottles of Soda, an extra large bag of Cheetos and sat down in front of the TV to watch the Jews kill the Arabs. This last, of course, accompanied by a non-stop barrage of liberal Hamas fantards on CNN and MSNBC begging the Jews to crawl back into the ovens.

Except FOX News. They provided poignant news analysis explaining how the IDF was showing care and restraint.

And then the Shit hit the fan

Palestinian man shows off a traditional Arab dish, Baby deep fried in White Phosphorus

Concerned that they were not killing the Muslims fast enough, the Israelis decided that they should send the tanks in. This caused all the Liberals in Europe to BAWW about the humanitarian crisis in Gaza brought on by the war. France formalized its surrender to Israel just to be on the safe side, and the French president is currently in Jerusalem negotiating the final terms. All the while the Americunts enter a state of pure bliss as more and more Palestinians get permabanned. Heeding the will of its people, the US Government provided cover for Israel at the UN in the hopes that the Jews will be able to push the body count even higher.

El Fin

Hamas militant seen celebrating the victory over Zionism

Israel has declared a unilateral cease-fire in the fighting in Gaza beginning at 2 a.m. Sunday (7 p.m. ET Saturday), Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said.

For its part, Israel said any effort to disrupt the ceasefire from now until doomsday on the part of Hamas will mean a resumption of the war. For now though, there is peace. But will it hold?

TL;DR

Zionists defending Jerusalem from inevitable destruction

Last Thursday Jesus conquered Israel using his army of idiots. Skip 5 years and God kills most of the Jews in what was later dubbed the lolocaust. Following this near triumph, the "West" decided to implement a better solution and dump all the Jews in a country surrounded by other people nobody cares about who hate their guts more than us. This plan backfired when some of the dirty rats infiltrated America and started selling the Jews 1337 h4x that made the Sand Niggers hate you. Now that created many lulz such as 9/11 but also many anti-lulz such as the continued existence of those backstabbing cuntfucks.

So to summarize you just lost the game

Front Row Seats

Not content with just watching CNN and reading news articles about this little lovers quarrel? Want a little something MOAR? Well how about a front row seat to the action? Well that would be stupid, you would get hit by a rocket or some other Jew/Arab shit. Even better, now you can get all the violence of war right from you comfort and safety of your own home. Here are a bunch of links to various cameras streaming footage of the sandbox everyone seems so concerned with:

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/gaza-attack

http://switch3.castup.net/cunet/gm.asp?ai=264&ar=Live01 (border)

http://switch3.castup.net/cunet/gm.asp?ai=264&ar=Live04 (border)

Although by now all the fun is far from over.

Awww, shucks, Gaza, you're welcome.

In an odd twist of fate some towelheads will be thanking Israel for this one. Not publicly, of course:

PROFIT!!1!

Relax. Those 1300 Gazans didn't die in vain. Their deaths paved the way to an entire 11minutes of online Flash! game entertainment for you to enjoy.

Now you too can partake in the lulz of perpetuating warcrimes!

Gallery

Visual Records

Where is your God now? keep crying, nobody cares

THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK Tastes like chicken It IS chicken! Richard Al'Gaza, Hamas mastermind I needs a new one, this one broke! What the Jews think they are fighting How Retarded Brazilians see things. Notice the Asian butler? That's the Secretary General of the United Nations The above brings back such sweet memories Don't try this at home, kids! Notice the enthusiasm Fail, that's from the Lebanese War.

See Also

• Collateral damage
• South Ossetia Another lulzy conflict
• Live web stream
• Richard Al'Gaza, leader of Hamas in the Gaza Strip.

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