Gabriel Nathan Schwartz
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Gabriel Nathan Schwartz, is a Denver, CO lawyer and was a delegate at the 2008 Republican convention in Minneapolis. He's also a Neocon Jew and staunch Conservative. After mouthing off on camera about how America should bomb the piss out of every raghead mooslim country, he created a liberal lollercoaster when he got pwnt by a local prostitute.
This is how ya talk to the flyovers!
About 2 hours later, Gabriel met a nice, beautiful girl that he took to his hotel room. It turns out that this whore sniffed out all the gold and bling bling this Mr. T wannabe was wearing, and slipped him a mickey. She then dressed up like an Osama bin Laden and drilled his asshole with her 5 foot uncircumcised penis. After taking a shit on his face, she "robbed him of a reported $120,000 in cash and bling".
Gabriel later woke up, discovered the lulz all the liberals were having at his expense, and when approached by the media, he declined comment.
He was subsequently owned again by Wonkette and Keith Olbermann.
He's now back in Denver, living with his mom, and making TV commercials with his lawyer partner.
If you or your loved ones were hurt, or injured through the actions of others, if you feel like having furry phone-sex, or if you just want to fax a picture of your ass somewhere, kindly contact Gabriel Schwartz at:
SANDOMIRE & SCHWARTZ, INC.
662 Grant Street
Denver, Colorado 80203
Phone: 303.863.9398
Fax: 303.831.9374
Gabriel@Sandslaw.US
