God Awful Fan Fiction

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The lifeblood of fat fanfiction faggots.

This is where the wank starts.
This is where the wank starts.
 
 
Ever since GAFF (God Awful Fan Fiction.net) decided I was to be there next victim I haven’t been able to post or write a thing. Not that I have a problem with someone giving a review, they basically took my story from this site (Which I believe goes against TOS Rules on here) with out my knowledge and tore to shreds and attacking me at the same time. Some of the fanfics reported even had kiddie porn.
 

 

—MissNola, butthurting

Contents

[edit] History

In 1998, a bunch of people who wrote shitty fan fiction decided to mock shitty Fan Fiction. This site is dedicated to those people. GAFF stands for God Awful Fanfiction Faggots. The original purpose of the site was to provide a dating service to Star Trek nerds, but it has expanded to include anybody who considers themselves above your average fangirl. It is possibly of jewish origin.

[edit] How to be a GAFFer

Your typical GAFFer will follow this pattern:

  1. Overreact as much as possible.
  2. Remember that *HEADDESK BLEACH BLEACH SPORK HEADDESK FACEPALM SPORK SPORK* is a well-thought-out argument for the shittiness of a piece of writing.
  3. Complain about Marvin/Spigot, Knorg, and other trolls at least once per post.
  4. In the next post you write, praise Marvin/Spigot and Knorg.
  5. Say "NOTHING CAN SQUICK ME!!!1" then yell "SPORK OH GOD BLEACH" at the next Snape/Harry assbaby pic that appears in Godawful Fanart.
  6. Write Transformers bishie Mpreg yaoi fanfic about robots and hedgehogs having lubeless buttsex. For more lulz, write about robots getting AIDS.
  7. Use the phrase: "______KILLED/RAPED/RUINED MY CHILDHOOD" over 9000 times.
  8. ???
  9. Profit!
A typical post on GAFF.
A typical post on GAFF.
A typical post on GAFF.
A typical post on GAFF.
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ASS BURGERS!!!11
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ASS BURGERS!!!11

If a GAFFer claims he is squicked by something, chances are he faps to it. A disproportionate number of GAFFers are fat, closet furries or bitches with Asperger's syndrome. The younger ones are mostly made up of unique, teenage fandom_wank rejects that are too pussy to stomach 4chan.

[edit] GAFF Celebrities

MarvinMan/Spigot the Bear: CAPSLOCK COCKS COCKS FAT FANFICTION FAGGOTS HURF BLURF FAT COCKS EVERYWHERE.

Harley Quinn Hyenaholic: Your pet hedgehog will never be the same.

UPDATE: Harley created a new GAFF after the rest of the site butthurt her for the 90001st time! Her forum could use a lot more pretty pictures in the art section, so be sure to post early and often!

Miss Kitten: Rick Solomon.

Ian Gainsborough: "He heaved a silent sob, turning away. The once silver obelisk that he once called home was now in shambles, Trolls howling and roaring and rolling in their own bile. "We will win you back," he vowed silently, "I swear it on my GAFF code Number." Ian turned away from the horrible sight, a new cascade of tears welling and letting in his eyes."

Thanos6: "I WISH IT WERE LEGAL TO HAVE SEX IN A SUPERMARKET WITH STRANGERS WHILE CHILDREN WATCHED!"

Heywood: The King of Squick. Faps to the thought of spooning with Inuyasha.

Knorg: It is said that, to become a true GAFFer, you must be hung by your heels from the turrets of the GAFF tower and lowered down by rope so you may kiss his hairy balls.

Johnny Wizard: All Wrapped Up CBC as managed has deliberately with intent, worked to misinform and propagandize our community on what is as, documented provable fact, regarding Mr. bush's complicity to the murder of US as the innocent in New York City. CBC has refused to live up to our responsibility to protect our democracy, and in silence, has pirated our names to murder those understood to be innocent of the accused offence. CBC has refused to allow ourselves as the public to understand, Mr. bush forbade the FBI from pursuing bin Laden investigations, just prior to 9/11 with secret Presidential directive W199I (199I WF213589), which had John O'Neil, the anti-terrorism head for the FBI publicly protest by resigning over.

[edit] Subforums

[edit] New Releases

This is where fat fanfiction faggots go to make fun of faggoty fanfiction with other fat fanfiction faggots.

[edit] Golden Oldies

This is where fat fanfiction faggots go to wax lyrical about the bestiality harem mpreg yaoi video game rapefics of times past.

[edit] In Progress

This is where fat fanfiction faggots go to ask for help for their faggoty fanfiction from other fat fanfiction faggots.

[edit] Godawful Fanart

Where fat fanart faggots go to complain about every single mediocre bishie drawn by every single 16 year old girl on DevianTART.

[edit] Gabbery

Where fat fanfiction faggots go to waste time and money with useless polls about SHOULD I SUCK HEYWOOD'S DICK OR NOT????? (By the way, if you're a true GAFFer, the answer is yes).

[edit] Revolution

When the Site Guru is away, the trolls come out to play. Legions of trolls made their way to GAFF, filling the boards with new and creative energy. To fuck shit up even more, server usage was limited, meaning the fanfiction faggots had to go elsewhere for their lulz.

When suddenly, after a long hiatus, the Site Guru comes back and shut the site down, leaving only the following message:

 
 
Well you've certainly managed to make a mess of the place, haven't you? I've taken the forums offline while I clean up the shit and have the carpets dry cleaned.

And after that? It's beyond time we got the forums working properly. Check for updates on the Updates Page, not here. When the forums go online it won't be at this address anyway and you'll miss all the excitement.

Regards, Guru
 


 

[edit] Replacement Boards

Next to doughnuts and ice cream, GAFF is the biggest need in the life of a fanfiction faggot. Since the true GAFF was taken away, they needed a substitution. Hence, the Temporary Godawful.net Forums were created. These were full of roleplay crap which IanGainsborough ruled over with his flaming homosexuality.

IanGainsborough in all his flaming homosexuality.
IanGainsborough in all his flaming homosexuality.

While it is believed this replacement board got TOSsed due to trolling, the true reason the boards disappeared is that Ian's incessant humping gave the server AIDS.

[edit] The GAFF Rebirth

The Site Guru bought a new, AIDS-free server for GAFF and finished the creation of the new forums and opened it up to registered members sometime last Thursday. Anonymous posting is no longer allowed, but trolls managed to make their home there anyway. Nobody bites a troll's bait quite like a GAFFer.

[edit] See Also

[edit] External Links

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