Furries in the Media
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Furries have been smearing their failure across the darker parts of the internet for years, but recently have been violating other aspects of old media in an attempt to brainwash normal people into accepting their lifestyles masturbatory habits. Media coverage of the furry fandom can be divided into two categories - those who are trying to "correct" the misconceptions about the furry fandom, and those who see these sad, sick bastards for what they really are. So far the consensus about the furry fandom is that they're harmless eccentrics. How wrong they are. What they don't realize is while not all sick fucks are furries, all furries are sick fucks.
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[edit] Newspapers
Most newspapers like to regard furries with a mixture of revulsion and laughter, not knowing whether to get their cameras or pitchforks.
Magazines like MTV and Loaded laugh at people who like to dress up in animal costumes and make various grunting and squeaking noises while staining the inside of their fursuits, and sometimes diapers. More conservative newspapers like the Daily Mail gather with ovens on full blast in a state of panic, lest a 5 foot tall unicorn in a tutu assault their children.
[edit] Entertainment
If parents are worried about the effects a mutant can have on their children, as well as lynching the occasional animal sodomite they should stop bringing their kiddies to places like Chuck E. Cheese's.
Just like Disneyland the employees dress up as cartoon characters. Places like Chuck E. Cheese's are a haven for pedophiles as it's difficult to see who's having a secret grope in the ball pit.
[edit] The Theatre
The theatre has always been an attraction to ladyboys who like to dress up like women - up until recently actors who dressed up as animals were limited to being the horse's ass. Now horses and assholes are the lead features.
The creators of the as-of-yet-unfinished musical have dared to steal the word lulz and make poor attempts at parodying themselves in order to seem friendly and accepting, instead of the rampant drama queens who drive the fandom.
[edit] Film
The film was made following the infamous Mr. Hands clip found slithering in the depths of the internet. Far from trying to understand why the fuck anyone would want to suffer such a humiliating and painful death, the film tried to show that the love between a human and an animal was a beautiful thing. It is not.
Bestiality enthusiasts gave the movie many good reviews for showing the world that love has no boundaries. Lucky most will simply follow in the footsteps of Mr. Hands himself.
[edit] Television
[edit] The Simpsons
In "Treehouse of Horror XIII", in a section based on the The Island of Doctor Moreau, everyone in the town turns into talking animals, and brainwash the viewers into how great it is. But then, this was around the time that The Simpsons was teetering on the edge of crappiness and ready to take a nose dive, so noone cared about this episode except retards.
[edit] Orangina
Orangina is an advert which consist of various species participating in an orgy involving various sticky yellow liquids.
Some argue this was Frenchie's way of getting back at the British for stealing the 2012 Olympics. This strange advert is now banned in the UK as anything vaguely sexual makes the British feel scared and confused. Which is more than can be said for the Danes.
[edit] Rita
The cartoon from Denmark recently lead to the unwanted and unfunny meme "Everyone is furry for Rita" causing understandable outrage amongst seasoned /b/tards. What makes this cartoon particularly worrying is that there are several scantily-clan women with big tits, but only Rita, a young fox, is considered sexy.
[edit] Arthur
The show Arthur is about the eponymous 3rd grade aardvark who lives in Elwood City. IT IS FURRY HEAVEN. You watch that show and tell me if you see any humans in the animated segments. NOTHING IS SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FURRIED. And what's even more fucked up is that there are still "normal" animals. It is a well known fact that Arthur uses reasonable force when his sister acts up and breaks his shit.
[edit] CSI: Las Vegas
The CSI: Las Vegas episode is one of the lesser-spotted examples of showing the world what furries really are - fat faggots who dress like animals because they can't get any pussy from normal women, not even that $2 drug-addicted bitch with AIDS who sleeps in the alley.
The raccoon at the beginning of the episode is drugged, shot and then hit by a truck, much to the delight of everyone. Normally the various people who caused his death would walk as gods among men, but since the druggie was also a furry, they were sent to jail. Everybody wins.
| —Grissom, who prefers insects. |
| —Catherine Willows, who deals with corpses on a daily basis. |
| —Catherine Willows, the queen of astuteness, talking about the costume's eyes. |
Willows also accurately describes the fursuit as a 6-foot condom.
[edit] American Dad
In one newish episode, Stan is given the task of escorting his boss to various clubs and scenes to find fat azn pussy. One of these scenes involves them at a furry con in costume, while a squirrel gets humped by a guy in a car suit. Latter in the episode you find out the car is a co-worker named Dick.
[edit] Aqua Teen Hunger Force
During the episode entitled "Hoppy Bunny", Carl is taken hostage by a bunch of furries, who then decide to host a giant yiffing orgie in his backyard. It is truly an ugly sight to behold.
[edit] International Differences
Most furries come from America - the average YouTube video screaming LEAVE FURRIES ALONE will undoubtedly be posted by a teenage boy with a thick southern drawl and spunk-stained sheets, trying to make up for their nigger-lynching history. Las Vegas has a better history of dealing with furries.
Worldwide furries are dealt with in different manners:
Russia, who has been criticized for doing it wrong in the past, is making up for lost time.
England proves once again it's a country of closet faggots.
[edit] Videos
The CSI crew discover a Furry Convention.
This is both Japanese and Furry. You have been Warned...
The most terrifying scene in any movie, evar.
Unicorn tries to hump Frylock
[edit] External Links
[edit] See Also
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Furries in the Media is part of a series on Furfaggotry |
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