Furcadia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Furcadia is the epitome of everything you've ever feared on the internetz. It is a furry themed MMORPG with no actual game elements created by some kike gay named Felorin around 1996. Perhaps the most horrifying thing about Felorin, AKA Dr. Cat, is that he was one of the designers of the original Ultima RPGs [1]. This is likely the reason why Furcadia's interface looks like the Ultima 6 game engine. The difference being that it is more like an immense chat room filled with people you hate and can't murder.
Players choose pre-defined role-playing character images from a number of different animal species: five-penised cows, dick-nippled squirrels, shitting dick-nippled pigeons. Referred to as furres players can change their description, increase their genitalia, and cover themselves in excrement. But their sexual orientation is fixed at gay male--no furry has ever thought of changing this. For a small fee of at least 100 dollars, members can have dick-shaped wings for their characters, to make them more like otherkin.
The majority of people who play are 30 to 50 year old men and 5 to 16 year old girls. The online gaming environment is non-game like, which is the main reason people do not play it. Seriously, there is no actual gameplay, Furcadia is not a game. It's really more like a mass furry grave waiting to happen. Players can force their characters to assume three exciting sexual positions, sit, lay, and stand, the exception to this is located within "Yiffy High School" (located in Furrabian Nights) where a player can get on all fours and present his or her fat, furry ass to the world. Players can yiff in certain places, called "dreams," (Or the official "Sex Map", Furrabian Nights!) and every character in the massive furry chat room is entitled to make their own fur-world with the fur-fantasy-feature. There are adult dreams where furries can put characters into sexual positions if they hit a certain key. This is the height of everything gay about furries.
Of course, with all these sex-crazed furries running around, you're going to need some kind of authority figure to keep the piece. And that's where guardians and beekins come in. At the head of staff are Felorin, Cironir, and Talzhemir. They keep the peace in Furcadia by establishing a Nazi government and permanently banning all who are any of the following (or a combination of the following): A) Skinny, B) "Mundane"/Non-Furry, and C) One who opposes a dictatorship. Any and all who do not kiss their fat asses mysteriously vanish.
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[edit] Typical Furcadian Character Description
(You see Candi Bubblebottom)
> She use to be a big strong cocky jerk that is until a pissed off ex decided to knock HIM down a notch!! Now Candi is a lil soft cockcrazy ditzy shemale slut. Big jiggly soft breasts bounce heavily on her chest, wide girly hips sway her cushiony plump wiggling girly ass. Her cock gives her lil pleasure and serves only to remind her of what she was, the only way this sissy gets off is with something long and thick rammed hard between her juicy buttcheeks. http://www.freewebs.com/shemalesnsissies
[edit] Typical Furcadian Character Status
Name: Porcelain White
Age: 24
Sex: Hermaphrodite
Sexual Preference: Lesbian
Species: Lapine
Height: 4ft6in
Weight: 74 lb
Occupations: Owner of The Porcelain Feather Lesbian Inn TPF is an Inn, not a brothel, so do not call Porce "Madam" or "Madame".
Children: Annelise White, Kitsuno, Maylea Mcloud, Nymphadora White, and Wraith Kunai [I'm looking for players for Annelise and Nymphadora]
Grandchildren: May's and Dourim's Twins Batseba and Fortuna, their newborn, and twins belonging to Wraith.
Mate: Emerae
Harem of Pets: Flayre, Kytt'n, Mitsukai Tenmou, SilentPaws DarkFang, and Yokohji
[edit] The Key To Successful RP on Furcadia
[edit] Furcadia furres You're Bound To Meet
If you're brave enough to download and "play" Furcadia (keeping in mind there is no actual gameplay)you'll be forced to meet with many types of individuals. (By many, I mean two.) These people like to pretentiously refer to themselves as "Furres" which is just a fancy word for furfag.
+ The Grammatically Impaired n00bs
These are the fresh-faced, thirteen year old furry-sex loving future crackwhores who can't spell and like to RP as Naruto, Bleach, or Inuyasha characters. These are the kinds of girls who spend all day on Furcadia because they have no IRL friends and spend all day buffing their muffins to pictures of Sasuke. Usually, these girls are emos who like to cut themselves and then masturbate with the bloody razor.
+Fake "Beekins"
The best example of these fake internet police is a furfag by the username of Myshella Cambree. She is an egotistical, self-righteous, child molesting, Jesus loving, hermaphrodite who loves to pretend she has friends when in reality she doesn't. She gets a great big erection when she gets the chance to tell another Furcadia player that they're "breaking the rules", but verbally abuses any player she can. The only other time she gets an erection this big is when she's in Church whacking off to the Bible. She's quick to threaten anyone who doesn't live up to her high moral standards of wanking off to God, and unfortunately for the Furcadia Community, she isn't the only one. The best you can do with these types is hope their stepfathers stop molesting them so they can go out into the real world and get jobs.
+The Biggest FurFags
The biggest furfags will play Furcadia and buy all the life items (known as digos) and have tons of portraits with a description that mainly describes their fursona's boobs, penis, or vagina. About 90% of the furfags on this game are bisexual and enjoy yiffing. The furfags on Furcadia are usually fat bitches in real life. Fat people usually don't get dates, and most of the furfags have NEVER had a date in their entire life, which caused them to join Furc and make a shitty character they think is sexy and will soon find themselves in the Yiffy High School (there is a such thing, you guys LOL) sexing with another fat person who claims to be skinny and sexy. Some of these fat whores speak in a whole different language, too. Instead of "anyways" they would say "anywoof" or they speak like Scooby-Doo. RUT-ROH!
+The Elitists
Their shit don't stink, but they'll rub your face into it. The best of the best, clearly, because they get the most pixel sex and over 9000 fanarts. Included:
[edit] Ordinary Furcadian Chat
Bowser gets out.......telescope. Bowser masterbates to doroku Bowser continues to masterbate. O.o Jaeme faps Jaeme faps Jaeme faps Jaeme faps Bowser faps Bowser faps Bowser faps Bowser faps Bowser faps Jaeme faps Bowser faps Jaeme faps Bowser faps Bowser faps Jaeme faps Bowser faps Jaeme faps Bowser faps Jaeme faps Bowser faps Bowser faps Jaeme faps Bowser faps Jaeme faps Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Jaeme shrugs "well" Bowser moans Bowser moans Bowser moans Jaeme: I don't care either. Jaeme: haha Bowser orgasms. Bowser orgasms. Bowser orgasms. Bowser orgasms. Bowser orgasms. Bowser orgasms. Bowser orgasms. Bowser orgasms. Jaeme orgasms Jaeme orgasms Jaeme orgasms Bowser dies Jaeme orgasms Jaeme tuches Jaeme tuches Jaeme tuches Jaeme gropes *.* Jaeme gropes *.*
[edit] Chatlogs preserved for win
You say, "YIFF IN HELL, FURFAGS." fangmoonlight:wtf DemonWithIn: WTF basterd fangmoonlight:bitch ass mother fucker get the hell out of my dream or ill shove something up my ass sunu6600 yea i do it too DemonWithIn LaUgHs You say, "FUCK YOU FURFAGS!" fangmoonlight:you skanky ass hoe DemonWithIn: Up Urs Hoe fangmoonlight:your mama is so sucking my dad dick right now DemonWithIn Bits His Ass Off fangmoonlight:you ass wipe pussy eater You say, "BITS? LEARN TO SPELL" fangmoonlight:go and fuck you dad in his ass with a dildo sunu6600 your mother eat me out DemonWithIn Grrs (You see DemonWithIn.) > I am Emo like my Friend Wolfgang Amadayis.I have Brown Hair with Red Highlights.[Wears a black collar with Red diamonds on it. Saying She is one of fangmoonlight's loyal pets.][Also her dogtags show she is Emo.]I am found following my friend Legault.Also fangmoonlight.[Mate: [ >:*Deaths Hand>:* ] In The TaEh.Is Staff at Pet Paradise. You say, "EMOS ARE HOMOS" fangmoonlight:your so a fucking slut your desc says it all DemonWithIn: Up Yours AssHole >:*Deaths Hand>:* blinks fangmoonlight:yeah suck your dick that you got last night DemonWithIn: Oh No He dId not [%] Your cookies are ready. sunu6600 what the hell are you doing here?? DemonWithIn He'd Not Even Get His Dick Yet Mama's Boy fangmoonlight:you fucking hoe I fuck dogs on my spare time >:*Deaths Hand>:*: o_O You say, "ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA HAS AN ARTICLE ON FURCADIA." You say, "CHECK IT OUT, I'LL BE POSTING THIS CHAT TO IT!" fangmoonlight: > > okey BITCH BITCH BITCH DemonWithIn: Your A Furre Hoe Ya Know You say, "AT LEAST I DONT WANNA YIFF A DOG" DemonWithIn: Bitch Get Out Of My Face You say, "MAKE ME" fangmoonlight:sucking other people pussy while they sleep is so fucked up, yet fun. DemonWithIn Eats Him Whole You say, "I'M SO AFRAID OF PISS POOR RP." fangmoonlight pulls out a stick and beats the fucking bitch DemonWithIn: Your Pissing Me Off DemonWithIn Claws His Face Off You say, "STILL NOT AFRAID BITCH." DemonWithIn: Ur a Frickin Gay Horse You say, "MY DICKS BIGGER THAN YOURS" DemonWithIn: Bitch Go Away or I'll Get a Bat And fuckin kill u with it You say, "SO FUCKING AFRAID OF AN INTERNET TOUGH GUY." Sorry, the Inquisition department of the Ministry of Dreams has revoked your access to this dream for the time being. For more information, please contact the owner of the dream. Dream Standard: E8+ Environment [#] You're back in the Vinca nexus again, the heart of Furcadia. You can reach many main areas from here. For peaceful chatting without any roleplaying, try Acropolis. To find a good roleplay dream, try Imaginarium. Meovanni is the in-between place, for easygoing persona play. To get help or learn something new, try the community center, Naia Green. You say, "&$!?ING FURFAGS."
[edit] Trolling Furcadia
So in the end, what do many furfags hate the most? Arguments and aggression, of course! Make an alt (which is not at all similar to you), get your main to Vinca and sit down on a random seat in front of a small crowd (or at least three) "furres" which are not AFK. Get your alt to stand next to you and then start screaming at your main some shit like "GTFO MY SEAT", switch to your main and argue back. Continue this for at least ten minutes, some others should now be engaging in argument, threatening to "report" you or swearing their arses off.
Alternatively, Just get a large group of alts, block all access to some area (e.g. lay in front of doors, stand in a circle around a popular portal)
[edit] See Also
- The King of Spades - Double the faggotry with half the furries!
- Florida - Home of Furries!
[edit] External Links
- Furcadia
- A Fantastic Review [deleted]
- Furcadia on FurWiki
- fur_no_more [deleted]
- hot_furcadians - brace yourself
- FurreFace - Furry Facebook
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