French

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[edit] FRENCH IS GAY

A typical french man.
A typical french man.
French love ze fine restaurante and fine wine
French love ze fine restaurante and fine wine
And milk
And milk
France is the WINRAR.
France is the WINRAR.

An anti-American alternative to Freedom, originating in France.

Example:

Anti-American American
French fries Freedom fries
French toast Freedom toast
French onion soup Freedom onion soup
French vanilla Freedom vanilla
French kiss Freedom kiss
French tickler Freedom tickler
Lafayette Freedom intervention
French revolution Freedom revolution
French parliament Freedom parliament
French Stewart Freedom Stewart
French occupation Freedom occupation


[edit] Famous Frenchpersons

[edit] The French Language

A strange, strange language.
A strange, strange language.
The standard French reaction to adversity
The standard French reaction to adversity
Interacting OL with the French
Interacting OL with the French

For great justice, here are a few common French phrases that you might want to know, just in case you're ever kidnapped, beaten, tied up and forced to interacted with only French-speaking communists.

  • "Quand je regarde votre visage, j'ai envie de vomir." MEANS: Please speak English, I do not understand.
  • "Bonjour, je m’appelle (YOUR NAME), tu as l’air d’être un faux cul, tes parents étaient-ils de la même famille avant de se marier?" MEANS: Hello, my name is (YOUR NAME), it's nice to meet you, what's your name?
  • "Qu'est-ce que vous avez une jolie queue! (pronounced "Kew", any other pronunciation can be taken as a personal insult)!" MEANS: It is very nice to meet you!
  • "L'état c'est moi" MEANS:Pleez feel freez to ravagé de çountree, you stupéde a commoners
  • "J'ai un grand saucisson dans mon pantalon." MEANS: I would like to buy these, please.
  • "Votre mère était un hamster et votre père avait l'odeur des baies de sureau." MEANS: You're pretty and I would appreciate your intellectual contribution
  • "Je vais te démolir la gueule, fils de pute !" MEANS: I most enjoy your fine drinking establishment and think the French are a great and cultured people
  • "Je vais vous baiser avec un râteau, pédé !" MEANS: Could you direct me to a good restaurant that is nearby?

srsly! wut?

[edit] French Education System

[edit] French in Wars

  • Originally thought that French "Courage" could win battle. This thought was proved wrong when many of them shit their pants in WWI
  • In WWII Decided to put all their money and soldiers to make a big wall. Germans go 'round wall, pwnt French.
  • The only war the French ever won was against themselves.
  • The French never really took over the known world under Napoleon. (The FSM is responsible)
  • At least 100 years ago, British soldiers wore red coats because they did not show blood stains - specifically for fighting the French. This is why French soldiers wear brown pants.
  • The "victory" the French army is best known for is NOT having Orleans taken over and Napoleon. England is best known for killing Joan of Arc who repelled the invasion of Orleans and killing Napoleon.
  • The French army's arsenal consists of wine bottles, pointy sticks, large blunt objects(Year old crusty bread), and white flags.
  • Communication on the battlefield has come along way from yelling, now the use cans with strings to relay important military maneuvers. The problem is that opposing soldiers sometimes carry scissors.
  • Other French motorized armored transport is always built with at least one forward gear in case the enemy attacks from behind.
  • The French never actually "won" their revolution. Sure, they revolted...but to what avail? France fell back into an absolute monarchy...they killed a lot of French people in this war...

[edit] French Retards

This JewTube video proves that 58% of French people are either retards or really successful trolls.

[edit] Trolling the French

  • Hide a dollar bill under a bar of soap, where they'll never find it
  • Break their finger by punching them in the nose or kicking them in the ass, where it's usually located
  • Mention their military history, much Lulz can be had with their justifications.

[edit] Fun Facts about the French

  • Average penis length for a Frenchman: 3 1/2 inches
  • Inventors of mayonnaise
  • Number of wars the French have won post Napoleon: 0
  • Napoleon was from Corsica, not France.
  • Entirely populated by eunuchs (French women are impregnated by whichever country is occupying France at the time)
  • Most of their language is mumbling with sarcasm.
  • Carry white flags during fights.
  • Pretend to not be fags.
  • Marie Antoinette was not French.
 
“ 		 
Faites L´amour , pas la Guerre
  		„
 

—François


[edit] See Also

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