Fred

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Fred getting it up the ass from one of his haters.
lolwut
Fred Figglehorn (aka Lucas Cruikshank IRL), otherwise known as just Fred, is yet another fucktarded, epic failure on YouTube that somehow has become the most subscribed not anymore YouTuber in history, mostly because of deformed spastic fangirls find the bullshit coming from that dry, crusty cunt he calls his mouth funny, or because they think his emo haircut is hawt. He appeals to every newfag who thinks lolcats are funny and uses AOL on their shitty virus filled computers. His videos consist of him using a high pitched voice from cheap computer software and acting like a 6 year old boy, and usually getting into retarded dilemmas like losing his meds and running away from his mom. His lack of lulz has ended countless lives. Watching his videos will most likely kill your brain cells due to the overwhelming sensory overload put into them, and are the complete definition of unfunny.
 
 
Hi Lucas I LOVE you and u can call me any time for real ANYTIME!!!!! 512-945-9510
 

 

 
 
I want to fucking slam his head on the edge of a sidewalk, kick his head over and over while it's on the edge, run over his neck with a motorcycle, and hit him in the teeth with a baseball bat!
 

 

 
 
How is he considered funny? Spongebob is funnier than that peice of shit.
 

 

 
 
I'd rather rip my dick off and shove it up my ass then listen to this faggot one more second
 

 



BRUSHING MAH TEEF TICKLES LOL!!!1!!1

Contents

The story

Fred fighting with Kevin

In his series of moronic videos Fred has queefed out, he pretends to be a shota in acting that actually can give non-retarded people so much rage at how bad he is they will have a heart attack. he also pretends to be a social outcast with ADHD in attempt to appeal to the millions of fucktarded 13 year old boys and girls looking for friends on the Internet because they're too fucking retarded to get any in real life . Fred also pretends to have an abusive alcoholic transvestite mother, who anally penetrates him on a daily basis, finally explaining why he is such a ridiculously huge faggot. Fred is a huge faggot.

He lives in Columbus, Nebraska guyz! Lakeview High School. Lucas Cruikshank.

New Raid Schedule

On August 14th, Anon plans to try their second attempt of destroying the cancer of youtube. Main target is actually getting into his youtube account, deleting subscribers, videos, friends, the works. DON'T FUCK IT UP THIS TIME RETARDS.

Great job Anon, you fucked it up. AGAIN.

Presidential Campaign

Typical comments on Fred's YouTube channel
More comments including a piece of jailbait shit it would seem

In early October, Fred announced his fake campaign for President of the United States, so once again another episode of Fred's failure is butthurtzzz.

How do i failed ejaculationz?

After a month of terribly-made fake campaign commercials in an attempt to try to make someone somewhere laugh, he made an episode where he acted butthurt about losing to a girl, quite possibly the most unfunny pointless series of episodes on YouTube ever.

Fred is GAY IRL

As this soon-to-be-copyright-claimed JewTube proves, Fred IRL is gay.


You should know that CNN sped up the comment scrolling up. If you pause it at 1:37, one comment states the truth: "You Suck". This comes as no shock to 80% of humanity. However, given that the typical Fred fan is a 12-year-old girl or a 12-year-old fag, such revelations may come as a shock. Then again girls love fags, amirite? It has been suggested Fred knew that his normal, faggy voice would make all dicks and nips automatically soft, so he sped it up so no one would know WTF is going on. Also, no one likes fags.

Fred gets called out on his faggotry by Danny aka Tourette's Guy.


Still waiting for a live-action version



Fred's encounter with hillbillies during a kayaking trip leaves a bad taste in his mouth.


Comments

Typical comments on any of Fred's videos

Fred has many views on all of his videos; some people say that this in itself is proof that he at least has some talent, but they couldn't be more wrong as can be seen in the picture of his comments. Over 9000% of comments are haters, ∞% are spammers, and 4% are fans. Fred's supposed popularity is completely derived from people hating him so much that they go to every video he has on his channel and post comments about how he is an untalented little piece of shit who should become an hero.

Fred somehow managed to anally rape Captain Awesome after fucking fakesagan's gf.

Fanbase

Omigod so hawt

Like every internet celebrity, Fred has plenty of fangirls wanting to suck his .005-micrometer dick. His fans are all jackasses who, like any good fangirl, listen to the Jonas Brothers, still watch Disney Channel regardless of how shitty it is, constantly plaster their MySpace pages with pointless crap, and find ghey porn appealing. He also has been documented to have the worst Joker impression out of anyone, ever.


Retarded Fat Guy Fred Fanboy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ-xmEqhnx8 Nuff Said.



A while back, Anonymous saw some of Fred's gay-ass videos, and he wasn't pleased Here's his message to the little faggot

Fred pretends to be the Joker in a video that is FAIL


Another video made by the faggot and some stupid Nigger.


Hitler watches fred for the first time (reuploaded).

YouTube Fred Prank

Last Thursday a couple of kids with too much time on their hands tried gathering /b/ from every corner of the internet globe to have everyone unsubscribe to Fred, which they thought would cause much butt hurt. /b/ didn't respond and decided that the fucktards didn't think this one out. Why would you subscribe to him just to unsubscribe to him in an unfunny prank. All and all Fred lost about four hundred subscribers at most. It was an epic fail which accomplished shit.


Squeeky voice kid gets it right. Talk about one step forward and two steps back.

Fred and iCarly

On February 16 of 2009, Nickelodeon released a special Episode of iCarly. When you thought the show was already a big hunk of shit, they feature Fred. (Because we ALL know that we can't get enough of the helium breathing faggot.) Apparently, the episode goes like this: Fred is the most popular guy on the internet, Freddy from iCarly says that Fred's videos are retarded, Fred acts butthurt and tells everyone that he won't make videos anymore, Fred's fans act butthurt and jump Freddy every 2 minutes, the iCarly team tries to find Fred and apologize, they find out that it was a plan to get more pageviews for his site.

Holy Shit They Gave This Twat a Movie?!1

Sometime last Thursday, a rumor was set loose upon the unsuspecting interwebs that casting had begun on a full-length feature movie based around Fred. A very lonely Jew director who lived in his mother's basement saw Fred whilst searching for porn and saw it as his chance to cash in. The movie is being produced by Derf Films, which is a completely bullshit company Lucas started as everyone with a brain can tell that Derf is just Fred spelled backwards. The filming begins in November. If you have any respect for the internet at all, you will go to the set and an hero yourself to hopefully throw a wrench in the works.

See also

Links




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