Tommy Davis

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Specializing in fucking things up, misspeaking and generally causing problems and huge embarrassment for Scientology, Tommy Davis, born Ibrahim Goldberg (aka Footbullet Man), is the son of Anne Archer and a member of the elite Scientology "Press Team" from the Office of Special Affairs. It is believed that Tommy contributes more to the discrediting and destruction of Scientology than anyone in Chanology or Anonymous ever could. It is rumored that Scientology is seeking compensation from the manufacturers of the downlink auto vocalization bus fitted to Tommy, which displayed several runtime errors during his last reanimation, causing what the organization called 'A PR Flap.' A spokesman for Cyberdyne Systems, designers of the bus, has said that the glitches in the Davis unit came from his organic components, rather than the implant.

Contents

[edit] Dox

Footbullet Man in his natural state ( this is the motivator that started the Tommy "Footbullet Man" Davis meme. How do i know? Hai i am partydude and i created it, just found out the meme became reality and im glad about it. :3 )
Footbullet Man in his natural state ( this is the motivator that started the Tommy "Footbullet Man" Davis meme. How do i know? Hai i am partydude and i created it, just found out the meme became reality and im glad about it. :3 )

In the past Tommy has brought the world such classics as BBC Panorama: Scientology and me in which he proclaimed his love of children and cats (but not mudkips). Once Tommy was done fucking up with the handling of the BBC, OSA boss Mike Rinder fled the country (and later the cult) as the impact the shit-storm Tommy unleashed on Scientology was so great.

For the last several months Tommy has been a resident of Scientology's RPF, a gay mens' bathhouse and spa for the rehabilitation of sexual libidos towards young boys and men. Recently, Tommy was sprung from the RPF to handle Anonymous and Chanology, David Miscavige should really have known that all he should expect was epic fail so great that Tommy would put onto motivational posters and attempted to be forced as a meme by moralfags within two hours of the interview airing, as enturbulation users decided that they finally had a reason to leave their hugbox forum and /b/oldy /b/ound into the /b/ordello that is /b/.

Rather surprisingly, the reaction of this influx was not greeted with the usual protests of GTFO from /b/tards. The wealth of amusing potential shoops of Tommy and general hilarity at his epic level of fail, combined with CNN Presenter John Roberts's insistence that Tommy STFU about imaginary threats and start talking about the involvement of parasitic aliens in the cult's doctrine, meant that little Tommy of OSA has achieved the seemingly impossible task of uniting the warring factions of Anonymous days before the May Protest. THX MR DAVIS!!!!

 
“ 		 
Davis gives the game away when Roberts asks him to give a basic description of what Scientologists do believe, and Davis can’t do it. Maybe because this doesn’t play well on national TV:

Superhuman powers! The ability to leave your body! To shape space and time with your mind! To be impervious to disease and live forever! And all for only a mere $100,000 in cash, several years of your life, separation from your family and friends, and complete dedication to a dead pulp-fiction writer who dreamed up a religion starring disembodied alien souls being carried through the galaxy on spacecraft shaped like DC-3s! Join today!
 

„
 

—Village Voice

[edit] Tommy's Fail : A Great Service to Chanology

CNN Interview : May 7th 2008

Tommy appeared on CNN with John Roberts an interviewer who will take NO SHIT from anyone, especially some faggot who believes in Alien Genocide.

  • Below you can watch Tommy in action, doing what he does best - imitating the keystone cops of Public Relations.


Bullet Meets Foot


 
“ 		 
I disagree [with the FBI] and that's definitely not the case, you talk to local law enforcement you talk to the justice department - there are ongoing investigations going on here
  		„
 

—Tommy Davis on how the FBI are DOING IT WRONG


 
“ 		 
It's almost as if he has tiny little fist-marks on his eyes. As if he were routinely punched in the eyelids by a miniature, almost human-like fist. If I were a pathologist, I'd speculate that a very angry infant spider monkey had gotten a piece of Mr. Davis. Although he exhibits signs of jet-lag, these are compounded by the teensy weensie little fist prints, barely discernable to the untrained eye.
  		„
 

—A review of his performance courtesy alt.religion.scientology

[edit] Classic Footbullets

 
“ 		 
These are the kinds of people who put images together intended to cause epileptic seizures and then hacking into epileptic websites to put that imagery up
  		„
 

—Tommy talks about OSA Black Operations

 
“ 		 
We are interested in putting out true information out there [on the web]
  		„
 

—Tommy talks about ReligiousFreedomWatch.org

 
“ 		 
what is disconnection?
  		„
 

—CNN

 
“ 		 
There's no such thing as disconnection as you're characterizing it
  		„
 

—Tommy disagreeing with what Scientology argued in California Supreme Court AND the Court of Appeals was their Constitutionally protected "Religious Practice"

 
“ 		 
the things you're talking about are unrecognizable to me
  		„
 

—Tommy being confused

 
“ 		 
There's a lot of people out there talking about what they say Scientology is, and, and... uh actually I'll correct that: there's a SMALL amount of people who talking about what they think Scientology is...
  		„
 

—Tommy

 
“ 		 
I have enough money to never work a day in my life.
  		„
 

—Tommy in Rolling Stone[1]

 
“ 		 
The coolest guy ever.
  		„
 

—Tommy on L. Ron Hubbard



CNN Cover Chanology before Tommy's Fail



[edit] Other clips of Tommy Davis footbullets

[edit] Tommy's Tattoo

Recently Dallas, the husband of Jenna Miscavige decided that as "Tommy has taken it on himself to work on
destroying my family behind my back, yet refuses to confront or even talk to me or Jenna" - he thought that he would troll him via ESK, by telling the internet about Tommy's sailor's tattoo.

 
“ 		 
Tommy did not have just any tattoo, he had the Sea Org symbol on his bicep. He was dedicated to this group. Back then I thought that was the most brilliant tattoo as you weren't going to get tired of that on your arm, hell it would still be appropriate in a Billion years.
Now since Tommy was the Senior Vice-Pres CCI at the time he went everywhere celebs were, every Maiden Voyage and he and Susan (Pres CCI) were there. Well the story goes from James, and confirmed by Tommy; one day Tommy was up with his shirt off on the Sun deck of the Freewinds and Dave is doing his rounds with the public and he sees Tommy there with this new tattoo. Let's just say he was not too happy with little Tommy and asked him, "Did you get IA (Issue Authority) for that?" See Tommy forgot that symbol was trademarked by RTC, oops!

Well the next few months Tommy was on the cans with RTC for that little mistake and up came a few others
  		„
 

—CoS being anal about copyright



Copyright violation in progress

[edit] Gallery of Fail

Tommy Davis: A little bit lot creepy

Cult twitch

om nom nom, yummy RPF foodz

The wonders of RPF

looking ill


Tommy Davis is part of a series on Scientology

LOL TECH: Scientology - Dianetics - Disconnection - Child Abuse - Scientology's History of the Universe - Sec Check - Freewinds - Sea Org - Glossary - Religious Freedom Watch - Volunteer Ministers - OSA - Space Opera
SCILONS: L. Ron Hubbard - David Miscarriage - Tom Cruise - Scientology Agents - Footbullet Man - Rogues Gallery - Suri Cruise - Terryeo - Heaven's Gate - The Regime - Evil Jacket Guy - Joe Feshbach - VaLLarrr - Anonymous Hate Group - Jake Vigil - John Carmichael - Freezone - Captain Bill Robertson - Danny Masterson - Will Smith
NOTORIOUS SPs: Anonymous - Wise Beard Man - Jason Beghe - Gas Mask Girl - Magoo - New Zealand Fail Guy - Message from Scientology - Shawn Lonsdale - Rorschach - New York Nurse - Moralfags - Raidfag Wench - James Packer - Epic Nose Guy - Stu Wyatt - Tommy Gorman - Psychiatrists - Marcab Confederacy
ENTURBULULZ: PROJECT CHANOLOGY (portal page) - Enturbulation - A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan - The Geterator - Mrfetch - ReligionIsFree.org - You Found the Card - /i/ - alt.religion.scientology - Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX
Retrieved from "http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Tommy_Davis"
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