Finland
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Fifty percent of Finns have the last name Fagerstrom other 50% of Finns have the last name Karhunen In Finland they learn how to shoot in school (literally)
Finland (actually Winland) is one of the ex-communist European countries that nowadays try to make themselves part of the colourful world where free market economy, water closets and the Internets soar. Finland is located somewhere between Norway and the North Pole, which explains the low population (less than 500,000 people, of which about sixtypercent are unemployed and/or alcoholics). To be precise, it's near Russia, far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam and so far from Sweden, you would not even believe it (politically speaking). Finns spend their time ponytrekking, camping with flashlights (it is dark there most of the day) and watching TV. Sometimes, they eat breakfast or dinner (a national delicacy of Finland is Mämmi which is actually fæces fresh from a persons anus on a plate) and bathe in a traditional Finnish sauna. All Finns are Nazis, blonde haired and blue eyed, although some of them have Chink eyes because they like to kidnap Eskimos and rape them.
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[edit] Finnish sources of pride
- Linux - a shitty operating system written by the communistnerd Linus Torvalds.
- IRC - the text-based warez program invented by a drunken student from Oulu, a village in Lapland (the northernmost part of Finland, where convicts are deported after repeated offenses of rape).
- The sauna - a Russian device made for torture, used in Finland for recreational purposes (that is, ogling boobs and vulvas). Popular among fat and bald finnish men.
- Nokia - the Japanese mobile phone company aqcuired by Finnish pirates in a hostile takeover after the fall of communism. Makes fugly and weak cell phones.
- It's too cold for the Niggers
- Finlandia Vodka - an intoxicating beverage, owned by an American company. Will fuck you up good, srsly.
- The Winter War - When Russia zerg rushed Finland, the tiny Finish army bent them over and goatsed their poopers.
- Tom of Finland - the gayest cartoonist of all time.
- HIM - the favorite band of German, scat-loving 16-year-old girls
- Children of Bodom - the favorite band of Finnish 16-year-old girls who secretly (or not so secretly) hope to be raped by a Grim Reaper on speed. C.O.B also has lots of finnish fanboys, which they rape at the backstage.
- Lordi - a really fucking awesome band. In 2006 it trolled the Eurovision Song Contest by actually winning, being as it was the first non-pop group to do so.
- Habbo Hotel - a virtual hotel on the internets, where pedophiles go to hunt for 16-year-old girls.
- Seppo Lehto - *duh* an hero ??!!
- Their love of ED and Goatse in all of Google
- The IRC-Gallery - the equally crappy Finnish version of MySpace. Popular among 16-year-old girls.
- It's pretty obvious that there is no real reason whatsoever for a Finn to be proud of his national heritage.
- Tarja Halonen is the most famous Lesbian in Finland, she kinda looks like Conan O'Brien if you squint just right. Formerly known as the president of Finland, she is now only old Meme. Not to be confused with Tarja Turunen, the ex-Nightwish vocalist, and bitch who thinks she's an opera singer.
- Molotov Cocktail - Finns take great pride in having invented the weapon of choice for rioters the world over. Made by mixing tar and flammable liquids in a glass bottle.
- Cellphones - The kind that hurt your face!
- Finnish girls are pretty HAAWT. The writer visited in Finland in 2004, and...oh I'm not virgin anymore! >ZOMG CHECK IT OUT!!<
- The six hottest Finnish girls formed a band called Tiktak and thoroughly pwned all other forms of music. Their plan to take over the entire world with their awesome music was thwarted by the United States, because Americunts are too stupid to understand any language but their own.
- Tall tree tops - Yes, Finland has it all!
- Finland has also a large raver scene.
- Finland is also very famous for its beer, which has many brands and bread.
[edit] How to Troll Finland
Finland is the Quebec of the Nordic world. Therefore the easiest way to troll Finland is to call them "Scandinavians", causing them to spout off a TL;DR rant about their long and rich ethnic history.
The effect is similar to walking up to a group of Quebecois and saying "Ban-jerr, eh?" or asking anyone in Alabama if their daughter would like to date a nice black man.
Finland was also pwnd by Russia for about a hundred years. Literally. They were conquered and part of the Russian Empire. Making reference to this is sure to bring up tender memories that they will thank you for.
[edit] Further information
Finland is in fact Winland! Movie's closed. Finnish /b/tards closed Habbo Finland's main square, and prevented moviegoers from entering the cinema as it was full of Snakes, planes and AIDS. It's more than sad to watch the Finnish "adopt" nearly every phenomenon that other countries have gotten tired of at least 100 years ago and turn it into a lifestyle and get sand in their vaginas every time when notificated about the fact that nobody fucking cares. Also singing the national anthem awakens a giant troll! A very popular thing in Finland is the sauna. Nearly every shack has one. This arises the question of Finland's small population (the Finnish attend co-ed saunas where it's traditional to be naked). There are a few possibilities: 1. Finnish people are fags. 2. They don't have sexual complexes suffered by morally correct people(like you) 3. Finland has a cold climate
If you ever go to Finland watch out for reindeer lovin snow asians that will hunt you down with their snowmobile and use a lasso to catch you and then they will castrate you with their teeth and mark your ear so that you will by Finnish law belong to them forever.
[edit] Proof That The Finnish Are All Furries
[edit] See Also
- Pussyhawks
- Pyynö
- Seppo Lehto aka the finnisher
- Mämmi
