Woman
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Though debated otherwise by some feminists, women are NOT people. They are far less intelligent than a man, and are genetically inferior. Men are entitled to pussy, and just because it is attached to a woman that doesnt mean they have rightful control of it. Plus, it is scientific fact that women are always asking for it. A man's greatest attribute is his physical strength which he uses against women because it is the only way they'll learn. Women also don't make decisions as well as men do because they are on their period almost all the time.
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[edit] Correct Viewpoint
The viewpoint of most Christians and other normal people who recognize the obvious is that God created "man" in his own image, meaning, with a cock. Man was lonely, so God created something for him to put his cock in. And (of course) God created something with a womb to make babies. Thus, everyone called the female race "womb-man" because that is their purpose: a womb for babies, and a pleasure hole for the man. They do, of course, have other uses, which range from washing the dishes to drying the dishes to watching Life-affirming television. The other major way to use a woman is to rid her vile presence from the planet, in honor of Marc Lépine.
If you do decide to begin a relationship with a woman but are actually using her for a moist place to insert your cock, she will start leading you to insanity and force you to become emo.
[edit] A Real Man's Guide to the Inferior Species
[edit] Maintaining Your Woman
prevent their annoying response, as well as techniques to make your attempt of kindness flow flawlessly. Trust me, they will thank you for it later. They'll soon forget anyway.
[edit] Fights with women
Women will often have verbal fights with men, so that they can either feel powerful, try to deny a man his rightful use of her vagina or simply because they like drama, losing battles and being revenge-fucked. An interesting article goes on about the many ways men might try to fight back with women, but we all know the proper way is to tell her once, and if that doesn't work, tell her twice, and then send her to the kitchen with two black eyes to make you a fucking sammich.
[edit] Obtaining a Woman
The fact that you read this probably means that you have never had sex with a woman. Ever. Here is what you have to do:
- Looks are everything when it comes to women. If you don't look like an androgynous celebrity that's 30 pounds underweight, then... well, you're not getting a woman. Ever.
- If you think women give two shits about personality, you clearly haven't been around very many females. Lose some weight, fatty. Take up anorexia and they might just accept you.
- Get at least a basic sense of fashion and hygiene.
- Women will trade anything for chocolate. The down side is, chocolate will eventually make them fat
- Women like drama, and to get one you might have to pretend like you do too. Like, actually be able to express your emotions, you retard (yes, I know. It's hard. Hang in there, Fabio).
- Women have to be convinced that you are a natural leader before they are willing to have sex with you. Since you most likely aren't, you will have to pretend that you are for at least the 20 first dates, or she will choose someone with actual muscles and actual brains. Thankfully, there is help available.
- Don't be afraid to show your power over her by smacking her around when she steps out of line.
- Dominate her physically. Women (mostly low-self-esteemed-women) like the idea that a guy can't resist getting a little rough with them.
- Also, money. Lots and lots of your hard earned money might as well be set aflame because the money grubbing leeches will require all of it just so you can use their vaginas for a place to put your penis.
- Remember, women don't like anal sex. They love it.
[edit] Normal Behaviors of women
Once you have found a suitable piece of property, you will need to know about certain attributes they poccess, in order to best keep your bitch in line.
- Women may look inside your wallet or any other place they suspect you may have money. You have to nip this in the bud and tell her if you catch her doing this, you will donkey punch her.
- Women may want to watch lifetime channel. BEWARE! If you let them watch this, they may think they're a victim! Dispose of this channel by any means necessary.
. Women are like children and need structure and discipline. They will try to get away with as much as they can, and it is your job to make sure they have structure in their lives.
- Women are natural freeloaders. Get used to never being appreciated for anything[[Periodsister, or at least threaten to sleep with their sister or hot friend. Keep them on the defensive and mentally fuck with them.
- Women also get hyperjealous of anything that brings a man pleasure that is not them. For this reason, they are a leading cause of homosexuality.
[edit] Dangers
There are numerous dangers inherent in any dealings with a woman. Apart from the usual dangers of encountering someone who is batshit crazy, the following perils have been observed:
- Under no circumstances do what a woman tells you she wants you to. You have to learn to sense what she wants , not what she says she wants.
- Many women are Attention Whores, who come with additional dangers.
- Though they don't have souls, they have an inner eye that can see into yours. Once that happens you may be able to fuck but you won't enjoy it. And she'll laugh.
- Women can explode on contact with an incorrectly configured Toilet Seat.
- Through a combination of mind control, drugging and boobies, many women attempt to coerce men into a form of servitude known as the "Friend Zone" or worse; marriage. Marriage is to be avoided at all costs for all involved, as it has all the drawbacks of a girlfriend only with less interesting or no sex.
- Said mind control will permanently turn you into a faggot in no time.
- Women will call the cops if you prove them right too much[. To fix this, aim for the back of the head. Cops can't see bruises if they're covered by hair!
- Women are all experts of some type of emotional wizardry, beware.
- Under any circumstances, do not let a woman drive.
- Never ever let them leave the kitchen!
- Do not let them read Cosmopolitan.
- Do not feed your woman as this will cause her to become fat. Women do not need to eat anyway because they obtain sustenance from attention.
[edit] Girls
Fact: There are no girls on the internets.[no citation needed] Mai hagiwara is one of these girls.
Well, actually, that isn't really true anymore, since they seem to be popping up where you least expect and least want them. It went something like this:
- There are no girls on the internets
- There are no hot girls on the internets
- There are no girls wanting me on the internets
- This girl once wanted me on the internets, but turned out to be a gay filipino dude.
[edit] Girls Bathrooms
Whats up with girls bathrooms? Check it out!
Things to know:
- Girls bathrooms are big.
- Girls bathrooms are clean.
- Girls bathrooms are the opposite of your dick.
- 75% of girl's vaginas are bleeding at any given time.
- Most girls that spends time together have their period at around the same time. It's just easier to share pads if they go in a herd.
Women like to go in the bathrooms in packs so they can shit at the same time. They then like to talk about the juicy cock and serious issues . All while releasing their hot steamy piss from their vagina. No lie.
[edit] Achievements of Women
[edit] Quotes
| —Frank Zappa, telling it like it is. |
| —John Lennon, being ironic |
| — The entire Internets, flattery will get you nowhere. |
| —Stuttering Craig |
[edit] Videos
A Documentary of the Stupidity of Women
Women Will Make You Facepalm
How it's Done
What Women Are Good For
Trolling Women On National TV
[edit] Gallery
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[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- A well-thought, open minded essay on women by the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer
- A great feminist website
- Exclusive Photo: Woman Driver Hits Deer, doesn't Notice
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