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Falcon Punch

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... of that big fat list of YouTube videos.

A Falcon Punch can be carried out by any individual with sufficient testicular fortitude, not just Captain Falcon. It has been long-established as the safest and most effective way to abort a teen pregnancy.

Contents

How To Falcon Punch

Captain Falcon saves Russia from the threat of aerial phallic assault.
Captain Falcon saves Russia from the threat of aerial phallic assault.

A successful Falcon Punch requires focusing mass amounts of pure pwn into one's fist, before hitting the target as hard as fucking possible - hopefully dislodging several vital organs along the way. The Falcon Punch is most often used to end the untimely pregnancy of a loved one in a humane manner, especially if the loved one happens to be under the age of sixteen. It is also used often to destroy idiots that are killing the internets, through a primitive, but effective text form.

Carrying out an IRL Falcon Punch is a simple, two-step process:

1. Punch your palm with a fist, then cock your fist back and scream:
FAAALLCOOONNNN---
2. Then, while throwing your fist forward with all your might, yell:
PAOUUUUUNCCHHH!

When done perfectly, expect your arm to catch on fire.

Examples

Planned Parenthood approved!
Planned Parenthood approved!
Solving teen pregnancy, one fiery punch at a time.
Solving teen pregnancy, one fiery punch at a time.


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Falcon Gallery

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