Delicious Cake

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The original.

Indubitably.

Cake. Everybody loves it. Cake is delicious and thus...you must eat it. As the great /b/tard once postulated:

Since time immemorial, people have wanted their cake and they have wanted to eat it too. Oh, but if only life was that simple. Unfortunately, there always seems to be something, or someone, trying to prevent you from getting your hands on delicious cake and eating it. It is at times like these that one must go to extraordinary measures to get at that delicious cake you so crave.

Fortunately, the scientists, mathematicians, engineers, physicists and metaphysicists at 4chan are working around-the-clock posing every conceivable hypothetical situation one might find oneself in, vis-a-vis delicious cake, and the ultimate prize -enjoying said deliciousness.

Delicious Cake Threads

A Delicious Cake thread starts when the OP posits a potentially problematic situation involving delicious cake and you (with regards to your getting at and ultimately eating the delicious cake). The brain trust at /b/ then lets loose a barrage of posts with potential solutions to this horrible dilemma.

It is a little known fact, but all cake problems can be solved by maeking the problem divide by (the problem - you & cake), which results in just you and cake.

this is just like (5x7)/5 = 7. problem/(problem - you and cake) = you and cake. simple

The following is a neatly demonstrated example...

The Hypothetical Predicament:

How do I enjoyed delicious cæk?

Suggested Solutions:

"Combining physics with soul food. I call it soul science."	"Shoop the nigraz to eat delicious caek."	"Now you're thinking with Jules Verne."
Use physics
"Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center..."	"There's a hole in the sky..."	"...Through which things can fly."
"Now you're thinking with Portals."	"Longcat is helping you enjoy delicious caek."	"Solution for the lemmings level."
"Best Solution."	"Final Solution."	"Divide By Zero"

From The Peanut Gallery:

facepalm

Solutions in 3 Dimensions

The Hypothetical Predicament:

With such a number of overwhelming obstacles, how will you succeed?

The 3D Solution:

Solve it with the third dimension! Of course!

A Second Hypothetical Predicament:

Remember: You MUST eat it!

The 3D Solution:

OM NOM NOM NOM

æ Version

Special Encyclopedia Dramatica theme, with only a gun, hockey stick and big purple dildo. Add your solution if you end up completing it.

Teh solution to above problem

Women and Cake

Look at this woman, practically begging for you to judge and eat her delicious cake. But you had to go fuck this up by giving them the vote, instead of putting locks on your kitchen

Believe it or not, about 100 years ago, women by law, were expected to bake delicious cake for their men. And if said cake was anything short of fucking delicious.. and I mean motherfucking delicious, it was common practice that she be told to return to the kitchen to bake at least a dozen more till the man was satisfied. If said woman was insulting enough to bake no less then said dozen cakes, buttsecks was required.. no lube.

Did you know that...

This picture isn't cake. It's an illusion. Or, rather, a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

They are Delicious Senzu Beans. You Must Eat Them. OM NOM NOM

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

• The cake is a lie.

Videos

Fatty is doin' it rong

Quotes

Cake Galleries

Gallery of Problems and Solutions

Now that's a puzzler! Other foods may be used to your advantge Delicious cake is sometimes elusive. Solved with science! Solved with the dark arts! Sometimes the solution to a complicated problem is the most simple. (PIME TARADOX) Sometimes you need some help from outside sauces. Now you're thinking with Portals. DOIN' IT WRONG, if he had read it, it's portal-proof. In case anyone was wondering: No, this is not 'dimension shifting' the cube. I win. EFG makes an appearance! And... wins? MEANWHILE

Final solution: go to Wal-Mart. Sometimes the eternal quest for delicious cake can even throw off the most hardened crusaders. How Does I Failed At Cake-Defense? ZOMG! SOLUTION!!! BEHOLD, TEH POWER OF MSPAINT!!! The Matrix owns you...and your Delicious Cake. OP: You are separated from delicious cake by math. Dude...you just exploded and imploded my mind. FAIL LOL WUT There is no non-violent solution...it's Cho Time! Difficult, but not impossible. Solution is FEDEX! Looks like a tough one... One solution. Another solution. And a third. some faggot didn't think of walking around the maze Defeated by MSpaint in ten seconds 3D solution wins again Easy as pieCAEK!

Gallery of Cake

IT IS DELICIOUS CAKE. YOU MUST EAT IT. You Must Eat It! CHOCOLATE FROSTING!? Even kitty liek delicious cæk! DESU DESU DESU!]] Could it be? THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE?!?!?!?!!11 EAT IT! EAT IT NOWWW!!!1one BEFORE IT BE GONE. OBEY.

Being served delicious cake. "This is caketard. FEAR HIM!!1!" On Christchan, Delicious Christ comes to you! Eating cake in action. "It is Delicious Cake. You Must (eat) Lick It!".     ;P Lolis are cake too! I heard you must eat it. OM NOM NOM NOM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Eating ass is okay when IT IS DELICIOUS. It's a piece of cake to bake a delicious cake. Use Portals. Win caek! OM NOM NOM NOM MOAR delicious caek! Solved IT'S A TRAP! You have to respect the motherfucker that took the time to put this together. Other delicious things can be lies. LIES This is what happens when nerds work at Dairy Queen. I think it is self-explanatory. Some people have too much spare time. Cake can be awesome. Not all cake is delicious. Another example of a cake that you should nevar eat. Gentlemen There's probably no cake. A Nazi cake. HTML cake.

See Also

• Lies
• Riddle Time
• OM NOM NOM NOM
• Not Cake
• Portal
• Hypnocake
• Cakeroll

External Links

• Supreme Court Rules Restaurant Patron Must Try This Cheesecake — It is law...you must eat it!

• [1] - This guy is either a troll, or he seriously needs to lighten up and learn what Portal is.

	Delicious Cake is a part of a series on Foods.
Delicious Foods Alcohol • Bacon and Eggs • BREADCRAB • Chikins • Cock • Dancing Sandwich • Delicious Cake • Ham • Honey Bunches of Oats • Hypnocake • Jesus Tortilla • Kool-Aid • Liver • Milk • Meat • Pizza and Beer • Pocky • Pork • Ramen • Sammich • Sea Kittens • Watermelonz • Whiskey Less delicious Food Pyramid • Gordon the Pringles Giraffe • Jizztini • McDonalds