Evildoer Korea
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Not to be confused with Good Korea (or Gorea for short), Evildoer Korea is a founding member of the Axis of Evil and currently the United States's main acquisition target in east Asia. Evildoer Korea is valuable in the United States' Manifest Destiny 21st century plan as it provides diversity to what would otherwise be an all-Muslim list of acquisition targets.
OK, Cuba isn't Muslim either, but it's really very small and most of the inhabitants already live in Florida. It's really just a rogue territory of the United States, anyway. Both Cuba and Evildoer Korea are on the list of countries to spread democracy to.
On July 4, 2006, North Korea launched its taepodong ("tapered penis") missile, which immediately got pwned. The U.S. responded by taking North Korea off its MySpace friends list. Quoting an unnamed top-level official, "Man, not cool. I told him not to fire that shit, so why does he always gotta be such a drama whore?" In retaliation, the U.S. launched a giant fucking rocket into orbit, just to show who's boss.
On October 8, 2006 (in America time, not theirs), Evildoer Korea reportedly conducted an underground nuclear test. Although the rest of the world had already unfriended Evildoer Korea, China had not-but that changed in an instant. However, the poor saps in the UN fail to realize that Evildoer Korea is a friends only country-meaning that, thanks to China, the world has probably pwned itself. Way to go, commie bastards.
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[edit] Geography
Evildoer Korea is immediately north of Good Korea and south of China, on the top half of a peninsula that is north-west of Japan. It has water on both sides, and is probably a convenient place for throwing things into China. It may also have some good surf beaches and shit, but we can't say for sure because they haven't been letting whitey -- or much of anything, for that matter -- into the country. That includes food, information, or even decent TV programming, which leads for a pretty anti-lulzy lifestyle.
[edit] People
Millions of folks live in Evildoer Korea, but none of them make Samsungs or Kias. The government is too busy being evildoers, and the citizens are too busy starving to death or being shot in the head by government officials to be doing much of anything.
When the poor peasants do come out of their starving stupor, they often get together in small groups of seven and a half, usually with a small pack of kimchi, and try to cross the border into Gorea, but mostly end up getting caught by the border guards because they talk too loudly while eating kimchi, then get sent back to Evildoer Korea for torture.
[edit] Standard of living
Contrary to the lies told by the capitalist-pig media in the West, North Koreans enjoy the highest standard of living of any country. Here is a real-life depiction of a typical day in the DPRK:
Note how North Korea is so awesome that their guitars don't need strings to play music, and that they are clean when they work.
[edit] Government
There is a guy named Kim Jong Il who is like a king or president there, except that kings and presidents are good and he is an Evildoer. Evildoers who are like kings or presidents are called dictators. There are some other people, too, but they are all Evildoers. They hate our freedom.
[edit] Economy
Higher tier workers will transcribe failing Hollywood scriptwriters' works onto rice for 30 American cents a page. (GDP $8.19, 2005 est.) Party members, government employees and soldiers can sit on their ass and do nothing for 20 American cents an hour. The rest starve near unfarmed fields and abandoned factories.
[edit] Cities that are knee-deep in shit
[edit] Did You Know?
- That North Korea is not actually run by Mr. Kim Jong-il? It is still run by Mr. Kim Il-sung, Jong-il's deceased father. And the entire country still worships him like a god. Srsly. Look it up. When Kim Jong-il has to sign off on legislature, he has to sign it as Kim Il-sung. Crazy ass gooks.
- That Evildoer Korea is possibly the shittiest place in the entire universe to live in? At least you can leave other countries that are generally known to be shit, such as Zimbabwe or Russia.
- Kim Jong Il is a rapper? Most famous for this particular tune:
My name's Kim Jong! The US is Wrong!
Continue foreign aid, or taste my dong!
Gots mad flo, when I eats my foe!
Capitalist pigs are what I overthrow!
Your ass I'll roast, the US is toast,
TAEPODONG-2 CAN REACH THE WEST COAST! (The AzN nigga is from east side after all)
More like Kim Jong-ill. Amirite
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[edit] Mr. Kim is in trouble
Mr. Jong Il Kim is in trouble with the UN. The UN says that he is not allowed to import any more caviar, wine, and European chefs. He is also no longer allowed to import any more thirteen year old Chinese and Russian concubines. This was Japan's idea because they hate Evildoer Korea. Mr. Kim is expected to starve to death without these basic supplies.
[edit] Tiny Kim Adventures
Why hasn't Kim Il Jong been taken out? If you live in Korea; deep down, you know you love this guy. From his kidnapping of a South Korean director in order to make Pulgasari (socialist giant monster furry porn)[1]] to his kidnapping and brainwashing of Japs in a plan to make them zombie spies on their home country (instead of just using spies), the world delights in his plucky antics. Kim is a cartoon super villian brought to life and it makes the world just that little bit more magical to see him pwn millions. watch the "Dear Leader video" to see him in all his mighty glory!
Oh and what happened to those Japs he kidnapped and sent to spy on Nippon? After they returned to Great Leader with the latest animu, they were welcomed with open arms. After years of international diplomacy, Kim gave in and agreed to send their ashes and those of Jap soldiers who fought on the side of South Korea during the Korean War back to their families.
Most of them.
Lol!
[edit] Links
- A totally reasonable analysis of 20th century Korean history
- A completely truthful and unbiased comparison of the United States and North Korea
- North Koreans are told that Kim Jong Il can control the weather! srsly
- A look at upper-class North Koreans in the North Korea TV Show: "The Elevator Girl"
- North Korean news agency provides lulz to the masses
- A look at a middle-class North Korean family in the North Korean Drama: "Crimson Persimmon"
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Evildoer Korea is related to a series on AZNS. |
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