Eri-sama
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Eri-sama, also known as Enara, Eri, and sapphiresama is a Wapanese attention whore, a Narutard, an Avatard and a sucker for anime, pocky, manga, yaoi, Japanese faggot rock, Gackt, and everything that's Japan, no matter what. As long as it's from Japan, she will go "teehee hee!", drool and swoon like a 15-year-old fangirl. Even her friends are about as nerdy as she is, and she picks whoever will look up to her and regard her as some goddess. She needs her ego-boosts and attention on a daily basis; she didn't get much of it as a kid, so it's time to compensate.
She talks like a Japanese schoolgirl from any anime such as Inuyasha, using japanese words such as ”kawaii”, ”baka” and “hai!” in everyday conversations, because to use the English language would be painfully awkward (especially since she needs to maintain her divine position amongst her worshiping friends), so she prefers to use anything that will make her cool to her diehard "Otaku" friends. She calls her ”friends” by silly jap nicknames like ”-san”, ”-kun”, ”-chan” or such as herself; ”sama”, to prove how mighty she is (or so she claims).
| —Eri-sama, Expressing her love for Shonen on LJ |
Contents |
[edit] A few facts about Eri-sama
Name: Erika
Age: 21 (January 3, 1987)
| —Eri-sama, survey |
Eye-color: Yeah, they change after her mood.
Hair color: Ash-blonde (and probably also changes color if you ask her)
Greatest dream: To become japanese.
Worst nightmare: Anything not Japanese!!! OH NOEZ!
Idols: Tetsuya Nomura, who gets buttsex from Gackt. She also admires Gackt and is envious of his womanly beauty.
[edit] Eri-sama's likes and dislikes
Likes:
- Anime and Manga
- JAPAN!1!!!!!!111!!one!!!elevenhundred!!! ^________________________^
- Using Japanese words like "KAWAII!!!" instead of the english equivalent "cute" (although she clearly isn't Japanese, and speaks English fluently).
- Gay guys, Bishounen and Shonen-Ai.
- Gackt, because he's gay.
- Drawing Anime and Manga-style, i.e characters with huge, shiny eyes.
- Drawing chibis because they are KAWAII, tee-hee!
- Pairings, like Zuko and Kataara from Avatar
- Sushi. Since she's Jewish, she doesn't eat (and according to her, doesn't LIKE) shrimps, crabs, (and scaleless fish). But what the HEY, it's JAPANESE!
- People who will give her attention and anything she wants and needs at any given moment.
- Drooling over guys usually from an anime or RPG, having secret fantasies about them.
- Drinking, and getting drunk, then bragging about how much she drank on that Halloween party this and that year (and her ability of swallowing the entire contents of a Vodka bottle).
- Kissing ass
- Thinking about secks
- Internet faggotry
- Furfags
- DevianTART
- Fantasy and Lord of the Rings; she likes to pretend she's a mysterious creature from a fairytale.
Dislikes:
- Lots of things she will never tell you.
- You.
- Your Mom.
- Being single.
- Risking a bad reputation.
- George W. Bush
- Honesty. A fake smile is better than no smile.
- Trying not to be fake.
- Techno. Because it's not real music; J-rock is.
- Not being the center of attention.
- Jesus Christ.
- People who aren't of any use to her.
- Lack of alcohol.
- Lack of secks.
- Drawing something other than her animu and furry shit.
- Stupidity and stupid people.
- Getting drunk. Her friends force her to.
- Yaoi. It's nasty!
[edit] 9 tips to seduce a guy, Eri-style
- When talking to the guy you like, often use the sound "tee-hee" if the conversation takes place on an online instant messaging software (such as MSN, AIM, Yahoo or ICQ). Here you take on the "super-cute" look. Don't forget to use ^__^
- Play with your hair infront of him.
- Be extra-nice, overly-cutesy and persistently ask him to come to your place/party/apartment/birthday/a café and lure him with "I'll invite you for dinner/lunch/an ice cream/coffee" (and if you're lucky, he will go with you. After all, how could he say no to free food, anyway?)
- Randomly run up to and attack him with hugs whenever you only happen to spot him on the street (whether he likes it or not).
- Give him infinite and exaggerated compliments about 1) How good he is at something, and 2) How you regard him as far superior to any other human being, and that you wish to become his slave for life.
- Tell everyone else to STFU when he speaks; you have to prove him what an attentive girlfriend you would have made.
- Agree with him on everything he says, especially his opinions and convictions (especially if it's against your own), and if he tells you how 'similarly you think', that's a good sign! Reply with: "It was like we were meant to be!".
- Show off and act very out of character around him; anything for his attention.
- If he's just got out of a relationship with his girlfriend, tell him to forget all about her instantly and find someone better. Here's your chance to make him yours!
[edit] Quotes by Eri-sama
| —Eri |
Translation: she loves her mother's friends because they encourage her to drink.
| —Eri-sama |
| —Eri-sama |
How she wants others to see her.
| —Eri |
Eri-sama expressing how sexually frustrated she is.
[edit] Eri-sama luvz alcohol
One of Eri-sama's most distinguished talents is drinking anything that contains alcohol, and telling others about the amount she consumed. Her favorite alcoholic beverages are anything from Vodka to Whiskey (the more braincells they kill, the better). She also likes Wine, but Beer is only in case of emergency, when there's no other alcoholic drink available. She can drink the entire contents of a whiskey or vodka bottle all by herself, and then brag about it to her "friends". If she doesn't get drunk, it's okay; she can always just fake it and ACT drunk. Making loud and abnormal laughing sounds is also a helpful tool for getting others' attention.
| —Eri-sama |
[edit] ATTENTION!! Eri wants to be seen!
Eri-sama will do anything to be seen or heard, but preferably both at the same time. If she doesn't brag about how much she's drunk, she will show off, and act like a 12-year-old around a guy she likes, or around anybody, to make sure they will pay attention to her in one way or another. For others' liking and attention, she will:
- Change her opinions and feelings on different subjects
- Act generally out of character
- Act like she's the age of 5
- Act like she's Japanese
- Ask anyone out of the blue to go buy a bottle of Vodka for her (infront of many people if possible)
- Fake intoxication
- Fake laughter (and make that LOUD laughter; the more attention she gets, the better)
- Talk about anything Japan-related
- Brag about her addiction to caffeine and remind you a million times in case you happened to miss her saying it.
- Make herself look like the victim of a conspiracy
- Brag about anything she thinks someone else may envy her for
- Make people pity her
She will go complain and cry to everyone she knows (and doesn't know), about stupid shit nobody cares about, which is usually fictitious talk concocted by her to defame a person she doesn't like, and turn herself into some pitiful victim (see: drama queen). The fucktards will all fall for her bullshit, while utmost few, like 2%, the intelligent ones, will tell her to STFU or just stop talking to her.
What she hopes to gain from the attention:
| —Eri-sama, DevianTART profile page |
Eri-sama possesses an outstanding talent of acting innocent whenever she smells trouble. She will then put on her own version of the Puss look from Shrek 2, suddenly turning herself into a victim.
[edit] Eri-sama's social life
Aside from being a basement-dweller, studying Japanese until her nose bleeds, and trying hard to be one of them, Eri tends to only contact her friends when she needs something or wants to hang out to just brag for attention.
Eri-sama tends to pick her friends wisely, therefore associates only with those who want to be just like her, or enjoy japanese faggotry. Thus, being friends with her is pure anti-lulz.
When Eri-sama has issues with one or many individuals, she tends to turn to her closest 'friends' for advice as to how to rid herself off the pest, or to just win everyone's favour by convincing them of what an awful human being said person is.
Eri considers herself an intelligent person, yet fails to comprehend the meaning behind the word. She believes an intelligent person will believe and support her every word even if it's pure bullshit and they know it.
[edit] Eri is an Artist
Aside from being a rabid fangirl of half-naked gay pretty-boys from RPGs and anime ('bishies'), she likes to write haikus (japanese poetry), and draw Mary-Sue characters. Since she's stuck in a fantasy world, thinking she's a japanese artist, developing her own style has never crossed her mind, instead she keeps making everything in her wannabe japanese anime-style.
[edit] Select "Art" by Eri-sama
 Typical example of a wannabe-anime character |
 Photoshopped into a "different" piece |
 Yo messin' with me, bub? |
 Mary-Sue alert! |
 Awww look at the gigantic eyes, so CUTE! |
 Gift for her imaginary sister |
 What's this? No blue hair, no tails? |
[edit] Eri-sama's To-do list
Go to Japan- Get laid
Learn JapaneseDraw Anime- Draw real Anime
Cosplay- Be less of a fag and more win
- Grow up
- Develop an own personal non-wannabe style
Kiss some ass to move forward in life and stay out of trouble- Be less of a wanna-be
- Get a real boyfriend
[edit] See Also
Categories: Crap | People | DeviantART | Furries
