Eragon
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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First published in 2003 at least 100 years ago, Eragon is the tale of a young sexual degenerate and his exploits through out the land of Alagaesia. Filled with Bestiality, homosexuality, and sword-play, it’s considered a classic by faggots and 13 year old boys everywhere.
[edit] Plot Summary
Short version: Star Wars. That's all you need to know.
Long Version: Eragon lives in a homosexual commune on the outskirts of some shitty village no one cares about. When he’s out hunting Eragon finds a dragon egg and decides to keep it. Having realized that this egg needs to be properly incubated, Eragon coats it in lubricant and with motherly care shoves it up his ass. Leaving it there for over 9000 hours until it hatches and gives him a dragon play toy.
Realizing he needs information on how to properly pleasure his dragon he seeks out the villages story-teller Brom and learns all about dragon lore. Eragon raises the dragon until two of King Galbatorix’s servants, the Ra’zac, come to Eragons house when he’s out and burn it down, killing his Uncle in the process. This leaves Eragon very butthurt and he swears vengeance against them. Setting out with his dragon, Saphira, and Brom, Eragon starts on a trail across Alagaesia. On the journey Brom teaches Eragon many things including sword fighting, magic, and some mystical language.
They end up in the dark city of Dras-Leona where Eragon manages to get attacked by half of the Empire’s forces and runs away fearing a fate worse than death. After their escape from the city, their camp is later ambushed by the Ra'zac, who fight Brom for the sweet child ass he is hoarding to himself. Eragon is rescued by Murtagh, but not before Brom becomes an hero by jumping onto a dagger, dying soon after.
Murtagh and Eragon decide to join forces and begin traveling together in a quest to find a rebel group, the Varden. Eragon gets captured when they reach the military city of Gil’ead and Murtagh has to save him from rape again. On their escape from the prison they notice some elf and decide to take her with them since she is drugged and passed out. At this point they’re attacked by the emo bitch Durza and are forced to kill him.
Despite not being awake, the elf, Arya, shows her gender's inability to stop talking for any period of time and reaches out to Eragon telepathically to tell him where he can find the Varden. Unfortunately for their quest, Murtagh does not want to go to the Varden and much BAWWWWING takes place. They finally find their way to the Varden only to find out they are led by a nigger, Ajihad.
Having led Galbatorix’s forces right to the Varden’s door-step, a war is now imminent and they set to prepare. A force of Urgals led by Durza show up and wreak havoc on the Varden. Intent on rape and chaos they attack the rebels fearlessly but Eragon manages to pwn the emo Durza and free the Urgals from their mind domination. After this it is easy for the Varden to destroy the rest of the force.
