Encyclopedia Dramatica:This Month In Lulz/June 2008
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<Encyclopedia Dramatica:This Month In Lulz
June 4 - Anabelle Lotus
- Two juggalos defied the odds and left their respective basements long enough to have a child together. The mother, unaware that she was pregnant, spent the first six months of the pregnancy shoveling prescription drugs and alcohol into her fat mouth. To the dismay of the human race at large, the child was born, but fortunately Natural Selection came in and saved the day.
- After the funeral, someone was kind enough to post pictures on the internet, to the delight of many trolls and photoshoppers. The mother tried to claim that the death was not her fault for being a wild hambeast, but the fault of the hospital. The internet, however, disagreed.
June 4 - Ashley Tisdale
- Televison actress Ashley Tisdale, known for her roles in High School Musical and the Disney show The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, decided she'd like to try her hand at the music business. Short on ideas, Ashley decided to cover an old favorite, Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. As if it wasn't enough that this starlet was further degrading an already ruined internet meme, she even corrupted the lyrics to fit a female - You'll never get this from any other girl (which doesn't even rhyme anymore, by the way).
- Naturally, when the internet found out, they did not approve. 4chan, in particular, was quite pissed off. While the majority of users simply facepalmed and went about their business, legions of overzealous newfags began to cry, spam her message boards, and create shitty YouTube videos with empty threats of ruination from the Anonymous is Legion school of rhetorical bullshit.
June 6 - Dylan Thomas
- It was news when the FBI finally nabbed John Schillachi, occupier of "the pedophile slot" on the America's Most Wanted Top Ten List since September 2007. But things took an exciting turn when John's online persona was revealed: Dylan Thomas, the long-time webmaster of notorious pedophile den Boychat, internet radio personality, and philosophically-oriented defender of man/boy sex.
- While you can find a wide selection of Thomas' famous narratives and essays in the actual article, his most outstanding feat is the FBI's estimate that Thomas was responsible for almost 20% of the child pornography hosted somewhere on the internet. As if that wasn't enough, watch what happens when you add Anonymous, Perverted Justice, the Christian Boylove Forums, Google Books, AND Wikipedia drama to the mix...
June 13 - 4chan.js
- That Friday, 4chan's /b/ began getting spammed with obfuscated Javascript code with the simple instructions: Copy and paste the following to Notepad, save with the filename "4chan.js", open the file you created and shit bricks. The javascript command, once run, would flood 4chan with that same message. Since everything posted on 4chan is perfectly safe, legions of idiots followed the directions. Joined by trolls well aware of the consequences of running the script, they quickly overran the board.
- The mods attempted a simple solution - blocking the text of the script. This worked until the next day, when a slightly modified version of the script was posted, and chaos erupted again. The ultimate solution was to block the javascript eval keyword, preventing any such scripts from being posted.
June 14 - Operation Sea Arrrgh
- Another month, another Chanology protest. This time, Anon set out to expose the shocking facts behind Scientology's "Sea Org," as well as the abysmal conditions under which its members are forced to live (Srsly, read up. It's crazy shit). David took to the streets armed with knowledge and bedecked in pirate garb, determined to troll the fuck out of Scifags and continue the exposure of their
religionorganizationcult.
- ARRRGH!
June 18 - Old /b/ Day
- On June 18th, it appeared that 4chan's /b/ was finally about to do something which it had threatened to do for years; die of cancer. Moot, who had apparently OD'ed on cheap alcohol and Metal Gear Solid 4, left a very solemn message at the top of /b/'s page, changed the board's name to "Old /b/", and added a sad, annoying song in the background. Naturally, chaos consumed the site all day.
- On the other boards, however, Moot left a very different message; instructions to a presumed meeting of some sort to take place in Boston that evening at 7 PM. What followed was an event that would come to be known as "Old /b/ Day" or "The Boston Fail Party," and something that will certainly be talked about for ages to come.
June 22 - George Carlin
- Upon hearing all of the above news, a shocked George Carlin promptly had a heart attack and died. Goodnight, sweet prince. May you lulz in peace.
June 26 - Jake Roberts
- The internet was deeply saddened this day to learn that a young boy named Jake Roberts had killed himself some four months prior. Reportedly, Jake's parents grounded him and forbid him from playing his Nintendo Wii. Jake responded to this deeply troubling situation like any rational person would; by hanging himself from his bedpost. Unbearably separated from the joy of his Wii, young Jake sought the solace that only a noose could bring.
- When ebaumsworld found out about the death of the wiitard four months later, they were quick to raid his memorial Bebo page. Of course, many lulzy shoops and jokes followed, and thus "An Wiiro" was born.
