Emo

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Crawling in mein skin...

Emo (pronounced "su·i·ci·dal") is a dumbass movement which requires followers to apply heavy eye-liner, wear overly tight jeans, enjoy large cock (not that they ever get any, unless they got a granddad), dye their hair black (don't forget to skip the shower) and grow a long fringe to help warp their vision of the world. This warped fringe vision causes the wearer to insult people who are fucking depressed IRL by making a fad of feigning their own dire depression. Emo music consists of insane amounts of moaning about the greatness of being in emo style and the terror of not having hawt emo girl X want to fuck you. Some emo songs deviate slightly, encouraging male listeners to "Ahhh, c'mon, FUCK A GUY!"

Conclusive scientific evidence proves that emos are more hated than niggers, Jews, pig fuckers, faggots AND your mom combined. At concerts, emos stand in place and watch the band play with their arms crossed, tossing their hair out of their eyes and sucking on their stupid "snake bite" lip piercings.

They all suffer from severe narcissism, leading them to believe that they alone know what pain is, and that no one understands them. They all believe that their affliction could not be worse, that their life in their quiet suburban house house with their own television and computer in their room is the worst in the world.

The principle of emodom is "The more you bitch about no one liking you, the more no one will like you." Emos tend to cut themselves on the forearms just because it is the done thing for an emo. Unfortunately, emo's are the biggest pussies in the universe, so they just about never get it right.

Emos get tremendous shit in Mexico, where members of other Mexican subcultures are prone to beating up emos for the sole reason that their whiny, conformist faggotry makes them justifiable targets.

Origins

The original emo.

Emos (Latin for I buy) wear tight clothing due to the fact that they have sensitive, feminine skin passed down from their brother-dads and have a knack for bitching about that new car their rich dads DIDN'T get for them. They hide and want to be alone because they are too shy to contact anyone, which is partly contributed from the Jewish trait of fearing criticism. Also, they feel that their flaws are immediately visible from just their presence (another trait passed down from the Jews, who are very superficial people).

The emo is a crappy offshoot of goth, itself a crappy offshoot of punk.

If an emo is or has either of the following, he or she will become more inclined to ending it all in a suicidal fashion:

They have been physically abused in the past.
They are cruelly forced to take out the trash or do other hard physical labor.
They have been made fun of over the internets
They have been compared to a goth.
They've had their MySpace poetry criticized.
They say that no one understands them.
They've made out with someone of the same gender and swear up and down they're straight.

Git 'em young

Even Gordon has his emoments

In an interesting trend, young teenagers have begun adopting the emo mantra as their new Jesus, even though they will rarely cut themselves. They enjoy the thrill of straightening their ~~rat's nest of hair~~ ~~pile of black hay~~ straggly mop that rests atop their head and wearing tons of makeup to cover their pimple-ridden pubescent faces. They take black-and-white pictures of themselves and define themselves as "misunderstood" on their MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, Friendster or Bebo pages. Their usernames usually consist of serious descriptions of how they truly feel inside and are usually encased in a variety of symbols e.g. xXDarknessSurroundsXx, ^^)MyAngelCries(^^, X+LoveLikeFire+X. Many think that turning emo will instantly turn them hot.

The common path to emo generally follows these steps:

1. They have a happy cheerful Carebear MySpace profile up until they're 12.
2. One of their fat friends gets depressed and makes an emo MySpace.
3. 12 year old friend sees this and goes OMG TAHTS SU KEWL!!11 and copies them.
4. They straighten their disgusting ~~hair~~ wig that they haven't washed in 3 months, put on a lot of makeup and take pictures.
5. Post with comments like "NOONE UNDERSTANDZ ME!!11 M I DESTIND 2 NEVR FYND LUV???"
6. After getting a ton of attention saying "aww hunny dont wory im here 4 u :)", they start complaining about EVERYTHING.
7. Become an hero.

Current situation

The current incarnation of emo has basically replaced all other teenage culture (read gays and little/teenage girls who went crazy over the boybands) as the dominant one. The slightly faded "vintage" clothing and track suits are available at any mall and often displayed in tandem with the most mainstream wares. Because the accouterments and garb are very easy and cheap to obtain, it makes the style accessible to you. In earlier times emo was a generally male-dominated subculture with very few females observed at shows and events (mostly because all present looked like girls anyway). Now, however, due to the ease of obtainment of the requisite style items, many females have become involved in the subculture. Please see the above photo for an illustration of a typical specimen. There may be no easily discernible differences between the standard teenager and someone involved in the emo scene.

Often, participants are referred to as "emo kids," "emofags," just "fags," or any combination of these. Rednecks often refer to the participants simply as "wrist-cuttin' hippies". Normal people often say that "emo" is short for "gay trannys that listen to bad music". Everyone else calls them "failures at life".

Emo kids are a common plague on sites such as MySpace, Facebook, Bebo and YouTube as these sites offer the perfect digital mediums for them to display their tormented souls to the world.

EmoTube

Previous Video | Next Video

stfu stfu STFU

The True Meaning of Being Emo

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Emo over the ages

Emo has had a long history in many forms, from the early Beatniks (named after the constant beatings they would receive) to today's contemporary emo kids:

ERA:	EMO KIDS WERE:	DRUG OF CHOICE:
1920's	Flappers	Shit, Dead Animals, sweat, Pot
1930's	Everyone	Hooch, Cough Medicine, Perks
1940's	Nazis	Hitler, little boys, zyklon b c and d, Crystal Meth, Epic Win, testosterone, estradiol, corticosteroids, lead injection, strychnine and atropine.
1950's	Beatniks	Poetry, Bongo Drums, Pot
1960's	Hippies	Pot, Acid, Pot
1970's	Disco	Cocaine, Dexies, Fags
1980's	New Romantics	Ecstasy, anal sex
1990's	Grunge	Heroin, Flannel, Starbucks Coffee
2000's	Emo	Zoloft, Wellbutrin, NyQuil, Rispiridone, Feeble Self-harming Attempts, Morrissey
2010's	Everyone	Hentai, Tofu, Insects

National Emo Kid Beatdown Day

Russia declares war!

An emotive response to this page.

Less conformist?

Shortly before Russia invaded South Ossetia, legislation was drafted that would end the cancer that is killing Russia once and for all. Butthurt emos across Russia protested with angsty and heartfelt slogans like "Kill the state in yourself" (Moar liek "Kill yourself," amirite?) and "A totalitarian state encourages stupidity." Much to their chagrin, the emos' secret ties to the Nazis have been exposed by the Russian government.

MySpace emo kids

Like cocaine. WATCHOUT.

MySpace is the primary breeding ground of pure gay emo faggotry. It is not yet known why so many people devote so much time looking at pure shit. Studies have shown that Tom, the founder of MySpace has PEDO POWERS that cause all 16-year-old girls to sign up to his site. It is obvious that these sort of sites would appeal to emos, as it lets them bleat on about how miserable their pampered fucking suburban lives are and expect people to actually give a shit. Although nothing has yet been proven, preliminary results show that Tom emits a special type of gamma ray that makes gay emo fag girls horny. Another theory is that Tom is Adolf Hitler, and that using MySpace is similar to wearing the Jew identification badges Hitler used.

Recently, MySpace has lost its credibility with the emos, and they have since flocked over to EmoScene.com (plz troll). It is your duty to follow the emos to this new site and show them they are a sheep following a silly trend.

Common emo behavior

Emos can actually be extremely valuable.

Crying.
Taking self portrait pictures.
Having hair that is significantly longer in front and stupidly dyed by your mom.
Cutting.
Crying.
Attending art school in hopes of being someone important.
Wearing pants that are TOO fucking tight.
Threatening to become an hero but usually never following through.
Writing trite poetry about misery and gloom.
Constantly on myspace.
Getting lip piercings.
Crying.
Using ".!" instead of just "." when typing.!
Getting condoms and placing it over the wrong head in order to receive attention.
Bragging about how miserable and unfair their life is.
Diagnosing themselves with Asperger's syndrome. And probably being right.
Getting eating disorders and bragging about it.
Posting at The Cave of Dragonflies.
Ruining every user-contributor-based website ever.
Piercing every part of their face
Taking themselves more seriously than Wikipedia.
Over exaggerating their "emotions".
Insulting people who suffer from depression by trivializing and over exaggerating what they've "gone through".
Stealing just about every Weaboo cliques, like anime and J-rock, and just about every shit clique from the 80's and 90's. Of course, they're doing absolutely all wrong.
Did we mention crying?

Please refer to the Ofishul Emo Code for a complete list of rulez you must follow to be a true emo.

Gallery

Gallery of Emo

A sexually frustrated emo.	Hitler was emo to.	Typical Emo YouTube Profile.	Every emo picture evar.
What every larval emo has on their MySpace.	Dubya has emo moments.	An emo will pride itself on ridiculous hair.	She likes to scissor!

All emo's are gay.	An emo in its larval stage.	Curing Emocephalitis.	Emo: goth for pussies.
Note the fringe.	My life is, like, this big black abyss.	Fat emo vandal. Note the heavy use of Photoshop filters.	Emo enough?
Taking the emo hairdo to the extreme.	A Typical emo - eyeliner, fringe, looking ~~depressed~~ retarded.	Some emus are also emo.	It's often hard to tell the difference between Male and Female emos.
DeviantART-type account.	An emo's response to this page. It quickly got reverted and he is now blocked. Notice how every word is capitalized and the misspellings.	He's at it again, this time less detectable but still as stupid with more misspelled words. Large sections of this page were missing.	A typical emo boy suffering a fit of OMG angst, see self injury.
A typical emo bitch.	This is a girl trying to be a guy.	Common Emo advertising.	And you thought Farrah hair had gone out of style
thumb\|Typical emo female (AKA "douchette") Dykepals	Emo girl cut her vagina.	SRSLY... ?	wow, can you even see through those things???
You're doin it wrong!	How emo fags masturbate.	...At least he thinks he's sexy.	Bean is just a little more depressed "then" others.
They once were twins till along came emo...	Bitch Don't Care Either....	Old meme.	Emo nig.
How it's done.	An example of an emo shirt from the shit ass emo movie A Nightmare Before Christmas.	Wild Emo appears!	This is how the emo before will be in 15 years.
Where's Waldo version.	SHUT THE FUCK UP.	Furremo.	True Emo.
A Typical Emo Band.	Their very own cereal!	A safe alternative to cutting.	An emo in denial about homosexuality.
Emo gang.	YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.		Common emo ritual.
Emo kids are sometimes as fat as they are gay.	The same kid as before, only contemplating why he'll die a virgin. Notice the all fat? The chin count is around 4.	All Emos enjoy cutting as they are worthless.	This Emo is also a wiccan.
ZOMG PIME TARADOX.	Evidentially teh emo fags cry green.	Slightly wigger in other pictures, this clown has furfag fetishes with a slight twist of emo. To fufill these addictions, it preys on MySpace by flooding pictures of itself, whoring for comments.	A goth teaches an emo how to seppuku.
Hooray for Darwin!	Those damn azns...	Moar emo bulletins?	Even the furries are getting emo!
Hardcore Emo.	Vegetables are emo too.	Cut in the wrong fucking place.	All emos are the same.
Yes, emos can be black too.		h4x0r3d.	h4x0r3d.
sometimes an emo needs a good beating.	12 year olds like pretending to be emo.	See?	Donald Duck is emo.
Emos have taken the Weaboo's	Jesus died 4 ur sinz.	It's new and its emo!! And it's only $3,000,000,000,000!!!!!!
This emo uses Photoshop, but obviously has no idea what the fuck she's doing. Probably because she's so fat	I add black to my pictures to like, symbolize how dark my life is.	This is a emo!
Emos are huge ass camwhores.	They have a whole town of these fuckers in Ireland	A plea for attention	Black Metal fans aren't that different, really.
It is a well known fact that fags and emos HAET each other.	This is what an emo with Assburgers looks like. WHAT IS IT?!	Typical Flickr user probably qualifies as an Emo.	BAWWW IM SAD
		If I take it in the dark and take the photo at an angle, it might hide my quadruple chin!