Food

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It's the American way.
It's the American way.
Look good? IT IS.
Look good? IT IS.
Ears = food.
Ears = food.
The USDA Food Pyramid
The USDA Food Pyramid
Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"
Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"
Some people even like to mix food with their favorite pastime. Or maybe it was just a dell that over heated
Some people even like to mix food with their favorite pastime. Or maybe it was just a dell that over heated
Food thief.
Food thief.
What.
What.
Bird Food
Bird Food

Food is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is America's favorite pastime as it gives fat people their blubber. Enemy of anorexic 16 year old girls and breatharians alike food is vital to existence, Without it we'd die.

Some people eat too much, others not enough, and others eat Goldilocks. It's a tragic thing. All food eventually becomes poop.

Contents

[edit] The History of Food

Once upon a time, food was healthy. People ate cheese and ham steaks with buttered cream sauce and followed it up with deep-fat-fried lard for dessert and, lo, it was good. Then, in 1972, scientists screwed everything up by reporting that unless you want to spend your thirty-fifth birthday clutching your chest and turning blue, you better live on tofu and wheatgrass juice. The American populace responded by giving the scientists the finger and becoming the most obese nation on Earth. (See also Nationalized Health Care)

[edit] Internets Food

Thousands of websites, blogs and forums exist for the purpose of discussing food because many people can't browse porn at work. These fall into different categories, some of which are not ten-step programs.

  • Foods You Are Evil For Eating
    • PETA Suggests people subsist on their own secretions. Staffed entirely by furries, they are constantly monitored by the FBI who suspects them of plotting violent assault on hamster ranchers.
    • Atkins Center Caused great rejoicing among all peoples when it announced the healthiest diet was twelve pounds of beef a day but no toast.
      • Sample entry: "Well my mom always tells me "Krissi- you got more chins than a Chinese phonebook."
      • Sample entry: "I'm sick and have no appetite! Nice! But the bad thing is I can't run..but I guess that's okay."
      • Sample entry: "i want waffles and fried chicken and turkey lettuce and mustard wraps and cheese and spaghetti and cantaloupe and strawberries and steak and meatloaf and hashbrowns with eggs and....EVERYTHING ooOoo and frozen peas!"
      • Sample entry: "I have to eat when im home cuzthere is always someone around watching me.....they are suspecting things cuz i go into the bathroom during the diner or something, and i actual do go to te bathroom not puke and they are asking me if im throwing up in there.....so if i wanna do that, which i have decided to stop doing i have to do it when no one is around which doesn't happen in this house..."

[edit] Where to get food

[edit] Gallery

Gallery

Just like Mom used to make.

Some delicious German sausage.

Typical foreign food.

Not food except in Taiwan.

An appropriate use for food.

This passes as food for Some

How to get free food at McDonald's.

In Asia, animal cock is food.

Human cock is also food.

[edit] Types of Food

[edit] See Also

Food

Food is a part of a series on Foods.

Normal Food

Alcohol • Bacon and Eggs • Chikins • Cock • Delicious Cake • Hypnocake • Liver • Meat • Piss • Pizza and beer • Pork • Potatoes • Ramen • Pussy • Watermelonz

Food for Sick Fucks

Children • Cum (see also Jizztini) • Poop • Your mom

NOT Food

Kool-Aid • Mudkips • Spiders • The Lolrus • The Scared Monkey

But of course,

A cat is fine too

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