Alcoholic
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Do you drain the dregs from the wine bottles in your parents recycling bin when no one is around? Are you a little too fond of sniffing when your granny is cooking sherry? Then it is most likely that you are an alcoholic (see Britfag).
It has been proven by modern science that the entire population of Britain and Ireland are full of functional alcoholics, to the extent that in 'bars' in England for an extra ten pence you can have a choice of background noise ranging from heavy traffic and office sounds to (particularly in Northern Ireland) gunshots and mortar fire.
The average Britfag spends more time in his local pub than he spends having sex or sleeping. Popular drinks include beer, ale, bitter, cider and battery acid, while real men prefer to stick to neat whiskey, vodka and absinthe.
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Characteristics of Alcoholics
- Shaky hands.
- Use of unusually large drinking vessels.
- Interpersonal problems.
- Possession of a big stash of booze in the cistern of your toilet.
- Alcoholics on the internet have been known to make teksoqp
- Red nose
Some known alcoholics
- John Wayne
- Joseph Stalin
- Glenn Beck
- Jesus
- Native Americans
- Killhamster
- MATTY X
- your mom
- Martha C Clarke
- Brad Hole
- George Bush
- Aboriginals
- Ryan Furrina
- You
- Dysrhythmia
- cyndilovespiccolo
See also
External links
