Dreamwidth
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Dreamwidth’s FAQ |
Dreamwidth is a LiveJournalesque attempt at emulating other, more successful social networking sites that was built by butthurt LiveJournal users who couldn't find a way to express themselves without posting undesirable content. Taking particular aim at deviantART’s model and attitude, Dreamwidth states upfront that they wish to build an expressive community, hoping that “you'll empower us to be your hands and trust us to build a community that can last.” They also wish to assure the average user that “We value creative expression of all types and kinds. We will never place a limit on open expression.” While both of these charming promises sound like pie in the sky, the internet’s teeming millions will soon put an end to such pleasantries.
Contents |
What is Dreamwidth?
| —Denise, co-founder of Dreamwidth. |
Dreamwidth is a paysite designed to view other people’s meaningless dramas. Once a large enough community of suckers has paid for the service, they hand out invite codes. While this is an obvious attempt at keeping the normal riffraff out, once those invite codes hit Chan sites like 4chan, the floodgates will be epically opened and the trolling will begin in earnest.
Guiding Principles
| —pfat, who has many invite codes. |
Dreamwidth claims to operate under the following pleasant and agreeable principles: Transparency, Freedom, and Respect. However, as with any other site that will allow fellow users to rate, comment, and reply, these high expectations are about as worthless as a U.N. Resolution written on the used and crusty underwear of a repeat felon in the workhouse. Since (as of this writing) Dreamwidth is in beta testing, these principles are not fully being scrutinized. Once the system goes public, the first ban will, in all likelihood, cause the sites first questioning of their golden code and generate what will become yet another drama cow amid the drama herd.
Transparency
Dreamwidth asserts that they “will always err on the side of providing more information, rather than less, whenever possible.” What this really means is that they will be completely open and honest about banning you the second you piss off a moderator or step on the toes of another, more liked user of the service.
Freedom
Since Dreamwidth believes in free expression, they don’t want to put limits on your submitted work. This will last a whole three seconds once the service is made public. That’s okay though, they are transparent and will again let you know just what you did wrong by banning you from the service.
Respect
You have got to be kidding me.
What Makes Dreamwidth So Special
| —Moar FAQ |
Since the core development team dedicated to designing and building Dreamwidth all claim to be people who contribute artistically, they are fiendishly protective of “their baby.” This is a good thing to remember if you are honestly thinking of adding your content to their site. It is particularly important if you are adding what might be deemed “questionable content” because no good parent likes to see his or her baby dragged through the mud. Therefore, if it is at all possible, do not attempt to stretch the boundaries of taste while on their dime, after all, they are a diverse group of snobs.
Legal Obligations
Even though Dreamwidth makes epic platitudes concerning your content and how it will be treated, they must also follow the laws set down by the United States.
We get excited about creativity — from pro to amateur, from novels to haiku, from the artist who's been doing this for decades to the person who just picked up a sketchbook last week. We support maximum freedom of creative expression, within the few restrictions we need to keep the service viable for other users. With servers in the US we're obliged to follow US laws, but we're serious about knowing and protecting your rights when it comes to free expression and privacy. We will never put a limit on your creativity just because it makes someone uncomfortable — even if that someone is us.
Translation: The second somebody files any sort of paperwork, be it a lawsuit or a cease and desist order, your content and your blog will be instantly removed and all traces of it shall vanish as if it were tossed into the Bermuda Triangle. They will deny ever hosting your work or, if it comes right down to it, they will hand you over to the feds quicker than lager turns to piss.
Open Expression
| —This comfort files out the window the second somebody hits the comment button. |
Dreamwidth has created an online version of Microsoft’s famous program Notepad. With it, the average person can type out all sorts of interesting things ranging from recipes to how to hide the dead hookers in your trunk. As with any other social networking site, your fellow users can also use Notepad and “express themselves” all over your creations. More often than not, this means that you are going to be trolled by a 13-year-old kid who just got beaten up by his older sister.
Get Involved!
Dreamwidth is always looking for the following:
- people dumb enough to pay for an account
- volunteers who will work for free
- den mothers who will watch over the site
What Dreamwidth is actually going to get, in order going from bad to worse:
- Trolls
- Pedophiles
- Murderers
- /b/tards
Population Statistics
Dreamwidth allows any average netizen to see how their population statistics break down. They have sections for Total Accounts, Recently Active Accounts, New Accounts, Age, National Origin Distribution and what kind of client the Dreamwidth users are using. Great tools for trolling the site, should one be motivated to so. The best overall statistic is the Gender breakdown:
- Female 7980 (85.4%)
- Male 1161 (12.4%)
- Other 202 (2.2%)
- Unspecified 5202
While it would not be prudent to point out any specifics in regards to the sexual make-up of the site, it has to be noted that “other” is mentioned and that females vastly over populate the other categories. To put it in a nutshell, on this site you are going to be dealing with a lot of crying, food topics, discussion of boy bands, PMS, and inane drama that is meaningless. It is best to just not go here.
What to Expect
| —Some emo-lesbian |
While browsing Dreamwidth, you will begin to notice several common themes aside from the overtly pink pages. Besides the common depressed teenage girl you find on most social networking sites, on Dreamwidth you will also find a very large number of angry depressed teenage lesbians. While the term "teenage lesbian" looks good on paper, it must be stressed that most teenage lesbians are fat butch types who hate men and use MySpace camera angle shots to lure in the average, pretty bi-curious hipsters who are not very smart to begin with.
Logs
«6:39:58» nowhereman: come dream with us «6:40:38» dan: i read the word neurodiversity and actually looked it up to see if it was a word «6:40:52» dan: because of all the weight that word might one day entail «6:41:04» nukilla: what did you find «6:41:08» dan: you «6:41:22» nukilla: hug me «6:41:23» dan: "i do stupid things on the internet, but because i am neurodiverse, its okay!!!"
«8:35:26» Sunny: dan, are you looking for an invite code? «8:35:47» dan: god hell no «8:35:51» dan: im doing the article for it «8:35:56» Sunny: oh haha GOOD «8:36:12» Sunny: I have one LJ friend who has switched and I got into a huge argument with her about it «8:36:25» Sunny: because it's lame and won't last «8:36:39» Sunny: they can't deliever what they promise and they're forgetting 10 years of internet history
Quotes
| —Did they just actually say the word “neurodiversity?” |
| —Wait until their first white supremacy blog goes up. |
| —Once problems occur, you will become a mindless automaton to us, unless of course, you are a problem poster. At that point, you will be subject to our ridicule and then come the advertisements… |
Summation of Dreamwidth
You’ve been there.
You’ve done that.
See Also
External Links
- Dreamwidth News
- Why the site is down…again.
- Shit they pretend to care about.
- Click here to find somebody to troll.
- / Oh god this is good, one of the founders "Who am I?" pages.
 Dreamwidth is part of a series on Web 2.0 | Web 2.0 • Social networking • Social networking sites • Blogging • Blogosphere • PHP • Hypercube • Podcasting • Wikiing • Ajax • Ruby on Rails • Internet Humanitarianism • X is not your personal army • User-generated content • ITunes Store
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