Dr. Steel

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Dr. Steel, demonstrating his "creative" fisting technique.

Dr. Steel (full name: Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel, but his mom called him Rion Vernon) is a somewhat underground, perhaps even unappreciated musician who is either a very good actor, batshit crazy, or a less-than-successful "artist" who wants teenage loners to give him their money. He's cobbled together a ridiculous, trite "backstory" about how no one understood him in the big, mean ole toy industry, so he burned the place down, became a mad scientist, and now makes dolls with buzzsaws for hands. Yeah. His totally original goal is to, in essence, create a Utopian Playland by taking over the world with his Toy Soldier army. He also likes to use puppets in his live shows.

“	It all comes down to having fun. We spend our lives trapped, when all we really want to do is play. So, let the people play! Let us build a Utopian Playland.	„
—Dr. Steel, making perfect sense.

Despite his strange ideas, Dr. Steel actually does have some pretty catchy music...even though his entire discography consists of a little over two-dozen songs(36...) on three albums that were released almost 10 years ago. Amazon doesn't even offer the physical discs- only an .Mp3 download, PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON. His music is at least 100 times more interesting then anything currently on the radio, but still sounds like Danny Elfman and Weird Al tag-teaming Trent Reznor. Which is to say, it's typical gay goth garbage.

If you should choose to enlist to become a Toy Soldier, it will soon be apparent that you've just signed yourself into an actual draft. If, at any time Dr. Steel needs some new nurses (his equivalent to stagehands) he may very well contact you if he's in your area. Should you refuse, congratulations! You just saved yourself from the hambeasts that attend his shows, their stink forming a haze around his person at all times. But maybe he likes it that way.

ZOMG SAVE US RAPTORJESUS!

Most commonly seen wearing a lab coat, goggles, and gloves, Dr. Steel unintentionally resembles Professor Membrane from the Invader Zim series, which leaves us with the question, who stole from who? And who would give a fuck? No, seriously, why would you write something like that? Please give us your opinions on the Irate Gamer too, I'm sure they're FASCINATING.

Sometimes while on stage he'll remove his coat and rocks around in a wife beater to remind the nurses on stage why they should do what he says without question.

His Music

Very difficult to find for free, Dr. Steel's music can be bought on the usual websites as well as his own. His style is techno/industrial, which is to say Nine Inch Nails with a whole lot of buttsecks. Albino Blacksheep hosts a flash music video made by Starkravenmadd featuring Dr. Steel's Fibonacci Sequence here.

Playing hard to get, this music can be found here.

But if you're too lazy to download it...:

Lament For A Toy Factory

This one's asking for it.

His lyrics vary from building robots, whining about how we're all COGS IN THE MACHINE, MAN, bikinigrams from Satan, and other stupid shit. It has been known to attract devianTARTS, so it is best not to listen to his music near large groups of people, and incredibly retarded to announce that you are listening to Dr. Steel on a forum, chatroom, or any other place that may be infested with Tartlets. Or for that matter, any other human being. Strangely, he seems to be very Anti-Mason, even to go as far as writing to "show their conspiracy."

Dr. Drama

A curious development involving Dr. Steel is that Christians are taking notice to him, which will most likely generate an epic amount of lulz in the near future. Thinking Christian did an article concerning Dr. Steel, starting off the piece with one of his quotes:

“	Hello, my name is Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel™ and I’m crazy. At least that’s what they tell me. It’s a real load off my mind too. I mean you can get away with pretty much anything if you’re bonkers.	„

The hilarious, though not surprising part of this article is that the author actually takes Dr. Steel 100% seriously; his philosophies and views, even his desire to rule the world. The author goes on to end the article with a warning to all Toy Soldiers and Dr. Steel fans:

“	Don’t be a Toy Soldier. Live for what’s real. Live in the light of what is true. Live in the light of the Light personified: God revealed in Jesus Christ.	„

Jerry Falwell would be proud.