Douchebag

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Feel fresh again!
Feel fresh again!

A douchebag is a feminine hygiene product. However, it eventually became an insult, because people are fucking stupid. If you are fucking stupid, and were looking for the definition of "douchebag" that applies to the insulting version of the word, then it is as follows.

A complete douchebag is someone who pisses you off. Most of the time it's like a sixth sense, you can't put your finger on it, but you just have the feeling that this person just pisses the fuck out of you for no reason. Although, there are douchebags that piss you off and you definitely know why, like Jack Thompson, Tom Cruise, or Your Mom.

However, a strange quality of the word douchebag is that it's recursive, that means, that by using the word, you immediately become one, because anyone with a sense of self worth wouldn't use the word, preferring Dick, Fuckwit or Maddox. Using the word, instantly creates a vortex of Divide_by_zero and you end up dying like this

What douchebags eat
What douchebags eat

Which is a pretty cool way to go, generates lulz and if you're lucky, scores some old lady standing below, cause we all know that they secretly want to die, they just dont know how to do it

Contents

[edit] Qualities of a Douchebag

There are many ways for someone to be classified as a douchebag, but the main qualities of one are: very stubborn, complains excessively, has a very asinine goal, extravagant, and knows he/she is right and you are wrong. They often have a short temper, but they usually are pussies and run to solitude.

Douchbags are commonly sighted attaching to their mangier, odorous silent partners, the ones who squeeze right into infected ground zero, THE DOUCHENOZZLES. ie. Giuliani

[edit] Classes of Douchebags

There are three classes of douchebags:

  1. The Plain Douchebag: Loud, Stupid, and Famous.
  2. The Educated Douchebag: While they have done their homework on whatever it is they are doing, what they are doing is spectacularly dumb; whether it be their main goal, or their motives, its extremely retarded.
  3. The Nice Douchebag: While they can seem like the nicest person alive, they are a douche through and through. An example is John Hardy, who gives jobs and food to hundreds of people in bali on his farm. However, he lives extravagantly, and believes that every time he looks at the mountains from his house, it lets him realize how amazing he is.

"We’re living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet…we don’t need ornamentation." – John Hardy

[edit] Professional douchebag

Those who specialize in douchebaggery, see Fred Phelps. Conversation with a douchebag Douchebag says: he were that same outfit with that same braclet and he tans Douchebag says: oh yah Simon is AGATHA CHRISTIE WITH OPTIC BLASTS says: Oh, so you're not just saying that because he said he does, even though that's what docuhebags do? Douchebag says: or maybe i hear him talk about his girlfrined and she is a babe by the way Douchebag says: ummm simon he has a girlfriend Simon is AGATHA CHRISTIE WITH OPTIC BLASTS says: Wow, look at you go James. Simon is AGATHA CHRISTIE WITH OPTIC BLASTS says: You're really proving that douchebgas are high society there. Douchebag says: i were a pink shirt and i tan and i wetre my hat like that but i dont really use my hand anymore i use femal hands tho

Hahaha, oh wow.


[edit] Gallery

[edit] Types of Douchebags

[edit] List of douchebags

[edit] Douche-bags on the internet

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