Douchebag
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A douchebag is a feminine hygiene product. However, it eventually became an insult, because people are fucking stupid. If you are fucking stupid, and were looking for the definition of "douchebag" that applies to the insulting version of the word, then it is as follows.
The douchebag is a common subspecies of the white American male. They can be seen in almost any setting although they do seem to prefer malls and college campuses.
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Identifying the Douchebag
The common American douche is easily identified as a result of their distinctive manner of dress. There are slight variations, but common traits share among them are as follows.
- White sunglasses
- Plaid shorts
- Pastel polo shirts with popped collars
- Designer T-shirts
- Brand new worn-out jeans worn with over priced flipflops
- Bluetooth Headsets
- be your schools football team's camera guy
- Hats with impeccably flat brims
- Those flattened link chains
- Button up collared shirt, worn open so the muscle shirt beneath is visible.
- Quote Shitty Movie lines
Also douchebags are known for extreme orange tans, a look that makes it appear is if they just got done bathing themselves in carrot juice.
| —An offended douche |
Qualities of a Douchebag
There are many ways for someone to be classified as a douchebag, but the main qualities of one are: very stubborn, complains excessively, has a very asinine goal, extravagant, and knows he/she is right and you are wrong. They often have a short temper, but they usually are pussies and run to solitude.
Douchebags are commonly sighted attaching to their mangier, odorous silent partners, the ones who squeeze right into infected ground zero, THE DOUCHENOZZLES. ie. Giuliani
Classes of Douchebags
There are three classes of douchebags:
- The Plain Douchebag: Loud, Stupid, and Famous.
- The Educated Douchebag: While they have done their homework on whatever it is they are doing, what they are doing is spectacularly dumb; whether it be their main goal, or their motives, its extremely retarded.
- The Nice Douchebag: While they can seem like the nicest person alive, they are a douche through and through. An example is John Hardy, who gives jobs and food to hundreds of people in Bali on his farm. However, he lives extravagantly . . . believing that every time he looks at the mountains from his house, it lets him realize how amazing he is.
here is a picture of a typical douchebag http://newmedia2.funnyjunk.com/pictures/birth_control.jpg "We’re living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet…we don’t need ornamentation." – John Hardy
Professional Douchebag
See Fred Phelps.
Gallery
| Galleria Le Douche | |||||||||||||||||||||
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