Don Henrie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A self important douche who thinks he's a 100% real vampire... except that sunlight doesn't kill him, he doesn't sustain himself on blood alone and he's azn. He'll even go so far as to tell people, online and off, that he sleeps in coffins and is over 100 years old, even though he is really in his mid 30's. What sets him apart from the other 100 blood drinking freaks is his brief stint in a short lived reality tv show that aired on the Sci-Fi channel (Bring back MST3K!).
Though he isn't in the forefront of the vampire army as much as he used to be, and the general consensus there in is that he is a cheater, manipulator and general low life, it isn't hard to stumble over his rank, unwashed corpse. He is worshiped by 13 year old boys and 16 year old girls who also think they are totally goth and that they need to drink blood in order to stay alive.
His groupies and fan-fags argue that he iz a vampyer 4 reelz because of how unique and beautiful he is. His slanty eyes and black hair are easily to explain because he is azn. Kind of. He's half Welsh too. So technically, he isn't a real azn either. Oh snap! The fact remains that his penis is still fucking small.
Despite referring to himself as a "sennin", Japanese for immortal, he also is apparently a self-hating azn. He down-plays his Japanese heritage and either declares himself Welsh or refuses to acknowledge the question. Furthermore, he insists his eyes are really pale blue, denying the fact that he is wearing contact lenses and that his eyes are really brown. If you meet him IRL, you will notice he blinks way too fucking much and that his eyes are blood-shot a lot of the time. This could arguably be from too much coke, though.
Don needs to wake up and smell the sake. He can't change the fact that he's not famous, and not white. His penis will always be small, he can't grow facial hair, his eyes will always be brown and no one loves him outside of his 40-year-old basement dweller fan-base. Even the vampire community that spawned him has turned their back on him and condemned him as a leech, a pest and a user.
He is starting to rear his head again in terms of the public eye. Unless things fall flat (which is common for Don Henrie, as he bullshits to make himself seem more important) we will be subjected to more Don Henrie faggotry.
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[edit] A Real Stand-Up Guy
When he's not busy cheating on his girlfriends (who usually support him with IRL jobs), Don spends a lot of time high on cocaine and Vicodin, the latter of which he excuses by saying that he suffers from Fibromyalgia.
Interestingly, this is in direct opposition to his public stance on drugs, as his former website had banners stating he was against drug usage, but still unsurprising as not very many people claim to be fictitious bloodsucking monsters that can communicate through the astral plane except for delusional former meth addicts like Don. It is also in direct opposition to vampire folklore that says vampires can't get diseases.
He has also been known to take advantage of hopelessly obsessed fan-girls. He has come to realize that fan-girls are better than girlfriends, as he can go through them like tissues and not give a fuck about them while he drains their resources. Like his girlfriends, he uses them for a variety of things ranging from sex, cash, food (drinking their blood and/or "psychically draining their energy to sustain his life force") and as unpaid workers to moderate, maintain and design his site, MySpace and devianTART account.
[edit] Not A Real Vampire?
While this statement will have most of us screaming out "no kidding, asshole", there are a few others that take this issue more seriously. And these are the defenders of "true vampirism".
In many of his interviews, Don rehashes the same old information regarding the vampire community. Anyone with a computer can easily look up information on sanguinarian and psychic vampires. But apparently it takes someone who is not Don to actually get the facts right-- and by right, I mean reflecting the general opinion of the vampire/otherkin communities.
When he first "came out of the coffin" in 2004, he had stirred up a shit storm by declaring in many an interview that all self-proclaimed vampires follow the rules set forth by Father Todd, the Black Veil, totally ignoring the fact that the community of blood-sipping weirdos predates Todd's foray into LARP and White Wolf. Considering this, it is easy to see (again, to people who are not Don) that just because someone has a PR expert on their staff, it doesn't make them the head sick fuck.
He stirred up shit again in 2006 when, after jacking off to the movie Underworld one too many times, he stated that werewolves and vampires were at odds with one another, and that werewolves were the same as otherkin. This caused many a furry to scream out in rage, resulting in Don being shunned from their reindeer games. The vampire community slapped their collective foreheads and agreed to pretend that the man just does not exist.
So now because of his inability to get "his facts straight", he is only taken seriously by club kids and producers of laughably cheap Halloween specials. Not even the vampire community wants him.
[edit] Don The Star!
Don Henrie has a modeling career (that he is jealous of, seeing how it's pretty much dead), does interviews with anyone who will look at him, supposedly has a music career in the works, and is an accomplished actor.
After appearing on the Sci-Fi reality show Mad Mad House, he was called "the poster boy of the vampire community" by Father Todd (aka Father Sebastian, aka Todd Hoyt), causing everyone in the vampire community who wasn't in their cult to collectively shit their pants. For a while thereafter, he went on to lead events and ceremonies for Father Todd, until he tired of playing second fiddle to the older and wiser creature of the night.
After becoming this "poster boy", he ditched his girlfriend and started fucking around with Michelle Belanger, becoming her pet of the hour. She was absolutely infatuated with him, going so far as to say they were lovers in their first incarnation. This seemed to raise his reputation for what ever reason, causing more impressionable youths to flock to him like sheep.
Mimicking the self-importance of former fuck-buddy Michelle Belanger, he claims to be approached regularly by producers, directors and tv stations to star in their shows or appear in their documentaries about the vampire and goth subcultures. He also claims that the reason why this hasn't lead to fame and his face being plastered on billboards across the country is because he's "ethical" in his choices and will only take roles with merit or appear in documentaries that are down to earth and not the least bit sensational.
Yeah. Right.
While they were still together, Michelle thought it would be a great idea to usurp a shitty goth rock band and make them sing a song about their immortal love for each other. Don just wanted everyone to like him, so he went along with the idea.
Aside from the front womans brutal vocals that are so flat they are reminiscent of the brown note and predictable lyrics, it is argued among trolls that the song itself isn't that bad. What makes it utterly laughable though is the shitty video Michelle produced for the band staring herself and Don, playing the roles of seductive and lithe vampiric seducers.
Aside being treated with the sight of Don slobbering on some crack whore's neck, we are presented with a band that looks like it would be right at home at a German homo erotic S and M expo. With their "fashionable" get-up, make-up and a surplus of leather and chainmail, they surely are the envy of every mall goth's Hot Topic fantasy.
Don has appeared in a documentary on the vampire community. It should be noted that, while this documentary set out to reveal the mystique of said community, it only furthered the idea that they are all a bunch of idiots and delusional morons with role-playing fixations. He'll probably blame his douchified persona on editing and not any real effort on his part.
He appears in Abbey of Thelema along side Ron Jeremy. This is probably going to be his biggest movie ever. Thank god. Hopefully after this flop, he will start to fade out into nothingness and will be quickly replaced in the hearts and minds of sad goth kids everywhere with the newest flavor of the week.
[edit] Don responds to ED
His responses are reflective of two of his coping mechanisms: the first being utilizing his fan base to attack his enemies, the second being trying to scare "the normals" into believing he has supernatural powers and can influence karma.
You are doing a favor to existence by adding to this article, and therefore exempt from karma.
Following in DivineAngel's footsteps of "troll trapping", he claims that he posted this thread for the lulz, just to see how long it would take for someone from ED to post it here. What he hoped to accomplish by this, other than looking like a retard, is unknown.
 Not on drugs, Don? O RLY? |
 Edits Don has made to this article. |
[edit] Interview?
in a recent interview, we managed to delve into the mind of this superdouche and see what really made him tick.
- ED: So, Don, you must be a big Dungeons and Dragons fan? (lol)
- Don: What?
- ED: next question. so, how do you feel about the current state of the goth subculture?
- Don: One, it's a culture, you ignorant fool. two, there's too many posers.
- ED: Hmm. like yourself?
- Don: don't make me feast on your kidneys, mortal.
- ED: guess what? i don't have any! HAH!
- Don: WTF?
[edit] Groupies
Oddly enough, Don is considered somewhat of a sex symbol. This is evident by his message board and all the tweens and middle-aged house wives constantly sucking his ass in admiration. Male followers are rare, and straight male followers are virtually non-existent.
This group also consists of mostly self-proclaimed sanguine and psychic vampires. He is a role model for these lost souls and many opt to mold themselves in his image. They believe his grandiose claims of super human abilities and psychic powers with unflinching tenacity.
He has been asking his fantards to give him money, supposedly for his website so he can get it back up. Since he has settled into DA for the long haul, and has yet to stop asking for money, it is safe to assume that he is going to continue to use his groupies to fund his drug habits and pay his rent.
There is a special type of stupid that goes into being a Don Henrie fantard. First, you must be blind. Second, you must be so desperate for attention that you soak your panties over getting a comment from Don that consists solely of an emoticon. Third, you must have a fat wallet or be willing to fork over your pay/SSI check to Don. It's relatively simple, really.
A groupie of note is Sarah Lester, who is his new "manager". From time to time she hints at being in a relationship with Don, but he doesn't acknowledge her in any sort of sexual way. Then again, would you? She is a former addict and a current sex worker, who claims she is Satan. No, really.
[edit] Web Presence
[edit] The Vampire Don web site
At one point Don's web page was a thriving internet community with enough emo tears and gothic poetry to make the members of H.I.M. slit their wrists in disgust. After Sarah came on board however, things took a turn for the worse.
There were angry claims made by Don that the site was hacked, and he was all too eager to direct his fanbase to attack those he thought responsible.
During this time, literally ALL of Don's fantards (aka admins and moderators) that he had running, designing and maintaining the place had left in the face of Don and Sarah's faggotry.
Yes, ALL. Lulz.
Why?
Because aside from trying to lead a "covert hostile takeover" of Darkness Embraced, after the damage was done and it was revealed that there wasn't a hack (it was just a technical error) he kept with the story, pointing fingers and telling his minions to attack which ever person he designated as "the enemy". He also continued to take "donations" and hand outs from people, assuring them that the money was going to rebuild his website to make it bigger and better than it was before.
Now his website is the internet equivalent of a hovel and thousands of donated dollars are unaccounted for.
[edit] Deviant art account, We Are Minion
Like any self-respecting whore, Don Henrie has a devianTART account. But since he isn't original enough to make his own art, he instead posts pieces that others have worked so hard on... but only if they meet his prissy high standards of quality. Since most Don fantards are either retarded or high, these pieces are few and far in between. He has recently got in trouble with the DA staff for selling prints and posting pictures without the original photographer or artists expressed permission.
Instead of praising the actual artists of the art he posts, the fantards will swoop in to compliment and swoon over Don, totally ignoring the efforts of those directly involved.
It should also be noted that the name of the account is a mantra that he briefly tried to get his followers to embrace. Whether or not they didn't because of its obvious cult like implications or because they are too stupid to follow his orders has yet to be revealed.
[edit] Alleged Shit Fetishism
Don has been accused by (obviously blind) girls who have had the misfortune of having sexual relations with him of being a shit fetishist. Apparently, his (verygoth) habits include listening outside of bathroom doors, walking in if the door is not locked, and playing with his own feces. Apparently, Don does not just suck blood. These selfsame girls have also affirmed that his undead penis is, in fact, of typically azn proportions.
...the truth about the dark side.
[edit] Pictures
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[edit] Related Links
Former Friends Speak Out
- Larae talks of Don's faggotry here.
- Larae was a dear and posted some information on cults. Totally unrelated to this article, of course.
- Mehtare tells us how to spot a pathological liar.
- Mehtare tells us how to spot a abuser.
- Black Widow mirrored his original call to arms over the "hack".
Official
- Don Henrie's official website
- message board REPOST CONTENT EVERYWHERE
- Darkness Against Drug Abuse, a site that Don was the spokes-vampire for.
- Vampyres a half-assed documentary that Don was featured in.
- Gothic San Diego, where Don used to hang before he became, uh, "famous".
- Thomas shot 99% of Don's modeling work.
Profiles and Accounts
- Don Henrie's website on Alexa (lawl, personal information)
- Don's DA page... just a place to whore
- IMDB profile
- Don Henrie's Myspace page
- ModelMayhem
- One Model Place
Interviews and Articles
- Is It Real? is a show that poked and prodded him while working him further into his delusion.
- True Form Within thought Don was a poser before anyone else. A qualification of being a vampire is loads of self-hate, apparently.
- True Form Within once again scratches their heads in confusion. When vampires think you are a lunatic, you should take that as a sign that something is wrong with you.
- Interview with a Douche
- Chat Log on Sci-Fi.com
- With Metro.co.uk. Pretty old, of course.
- An indepth collection of interviews.
- You can see what parts Don influenced in this article.
- 2006 interview with Maxim
- May 2008 interview, where he talks of his "projects"
[edit] See Also
- Azn
- e-famous
- Internet Celebrity
- Internet model
- Liart66
- Michelle Belanger
- Nickolaus + Don Henrie = Cock Sucking
- Otherkin
- Pagan
- Scat
- Todd_Hoyt
- Vampires
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Don Henrie is related to a series on AZNS. |
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Don Henrie is part of a series on DeviantART |
| Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
