Dice

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

If you've ever touched one of these, just go ahead and shoot yourself. Don't worry, you won't have to roll dice to determine success.

Fucked up dice with more or less than six sides. Because Role-playing nerds have to make things complicated; like the kind with six sides from Monopoly aren't good enough. Their best use is a weapon. Hide it in the chip bowl and wait for someone to choke. Very versatile and you'll have saved the world from another Lifetime Channel wedding show of fat brides wearing purple robes and grooms carrying swords.

Everyone knows that the more expensive your dice are, the better they are and the bigger your penis. Not only do they show that you are TRULY a hardcore gamer, but they simply roll higher numbers than mundane plastic dice, and do far more damage when hurled directly into your friend's eye. As such, you must throw down at least $100 on solid gold dice. Since most nerds don't have girlfriends to waste their money on, this should not present a problem for them.

The most important aspect of a d20 die are the numbers 1 and 20. Rolling a 1 is like projecting your real life directly onto your character; ie they fail at anything they were trying to do, no matter how simple it might be. Roleplaying nerds want to roll dice for every actions like tying your shoes or taking a piss. If you need random numbers to determine whether you can urinate, you've already failed, IRL.

[edit] D&D Song

My D&D brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

I can you with those books,
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that pwn these boys,
It can't be bought,
Just know, thieves get caught,
Watch if your smart,

Oh, once you get involved,
Everyone will look away
You must maintain your spells,
Same time maintain your Alignment,
Just get the perfect blend,
Plus what you have within,
Then next his eyes are squint,
Then he's picked up camp and went