Dialup
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This article needs moar article and wikification. You can help by adding moar article and wikification. |
Dialup was a popular way of connecting to the internets at least 100 years ago. It changed the lives of 13-year-old boys and 16-year-old girls everywhere because it meant they could access virtually all the knowledge in the world in the comfort of their basement.
Dialup & Entertainment
Access to dialup meant you could;
- Download porn.
- Chat with strangers and become 14/f/cali without the expensive surgical procedures and moving costs.
- Download some more porn.
- Create a homepage on geocities about you and your interests, complete of course with a visit counter and a guestbook.
- Look at porn
Upload pornDownload speeds were rated at 56kbps, but actual transfer rates were in the single digits. Dial up was worse than cable coaxial cable when it came to the ratio of speeds on receive channel versus return channels. So, uploading was taboo, at best.- Ruin your parents credit score by subsequently running up their AT&T bill and crippling their ability to pay the mortgage. Good, job, faggot. You are responsible for the credit crunch.
Why it Failed
Dialup was slow as Stephen Hawking explaining black holes. The dialup modems made an insane screeching and beeping sound which could be turned down in volume to almost 0. An attempted dialing of the modem to connect to Busty Asians take most of your day, just to have that connection interrupted by a phone call from their mom. It is rumored that prolonged exposure to said noises drove people to commit suicide.
56k and the Now
Nowadays, the only people that still use dialup are AOLers, old people, Mainers, Jews, Afrocan Americans and WKD. Should you encounter a dialup user online, make sure to link them here.
