Satan
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Satan aka The Prince of Darkness has been busy as a Jew in your wallet since the rise of Protestantism. He is also known by the names "Mephistopheles", "Mulatto Jesus", "Smegma Guzzler", and "The Morning Star". Satan currently resides in sunny Hell, where he torments the wicked for fun and profit.
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Satan's Contributions to Trolling
Satan is one of the world's most influential IRL trolls who started by getting Adam and Eve B& from the Garden of Eden roughly 6,000 years ago in an act of epic lulz thus causing the downfall of humanity - wars, Jews, the Holocaust (see, two wrongs do make a right) and ultimately the internets.
Satan's trolling has been known to inspire the following:
- Richard Dawkins
- Adolf Hitler
- Rule 34
- TheAmazingAtheist
- Furries
- Rob Schneider
- Fred Phelps
- AkewsticRockR
- Everyone on ED
As further proof that Satan is damn good at his job, none of these people actually like or even believe in Satan. All of these things go to prove that Satan is the second greatest IRL troll to ever exist. The first being God himself (again, ever read the story of Job?).
Lasting Influence
Satan's influence over modern individual thinkers is highly prevalent on the internets. Taking their cues from The Great One himself, completely original young thinkers can be found all over LiveJournal, DeadJournal and especially Vampirefreaks. Typically, many of them cultivated screen names based off the works of Dante and Milton such as xxxSatansGoatseManBitchxxx or 6satans6jizzbin6.
The other telltale sign of Satan's presence OL is the continuation of cryptography, which is his favorite hobby. His most hardcore followers will attempt to obfuscate the true, sinister nature of their messages within a highly complex system of transposing, dropping, and replacing letters and words when communicating.
Example 1: "I am in the final stages of planning a gruesome end to my foes" would be written as "Tihs is so fuck up ppl wr talkkn shit n i start to cry n now i jus wana smoek a big 1 n slit my rissed."
Example 2: "That woman would be most suitable to join me inside my dungeon for a night of exquisite pagan sex ritual" would translate as "teh grrl in Hot Topic is so hot i trid to aks her out but im to shy n just looked so stupid. I haet myself. Good news i get to moev into my moms basement tomorw."
Fun Facts About Satan
- Satan is gay for Tom Cruise.
- Satan uses Unix in all his partitions.
- Satan has had hot, sweaty sex with every Republican president in the past 100 years and a majority of the Democratic ones. Jimmy Carter is a prude.
- In previous years, Satan employed backmasking to spread the word and cause people to commit suicide. Now that everybody just steals all their music from the internet, Satan has given up and joined the RIAA.
- According to careful research by the Led Zeppelin Research Group, Satan is sweet. A tool shed also seems to be involved somehow.
- Satan invented furfaggotry for the lulz.
- Satan Causes Global Warming
Sightings
Satan on The Maury Show.
Satan being an Asshole.
Everyone knows Satan originates from the Jews
Satan, the Internet, and You
Idle boxes are the Devil's botnet:
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Official ED Policy on Satan
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| —Satan |
People Commonly Accused of Being The Antichrist
- Jack Thompson
- Barack Obama
- Dan Quayle
- Michael Jackson
- L. Ron Hubbard
- Hillary Clinton
- Richard Dawkins
- Tom Cruise
- Vladimir Putin
- Dstohl
- BayHorseCrew
- You
- Your Mom
- Every single Pokemon
- The Jonas Brothers
- Harry Potter
- Edward Cullen
- Jews
- The Pope
- Josef Fritzl
- David Hendren
- Ratzinger Z
- Boxxy However it has been confirmed she is UberChrist. You can't fuck a male God/make believe sock-puppet.
- Jesus
Gallery
 Satan is badass. |
 "Go back to hell, Satan...the humans are mine!" |
 "Omniscient am I not, but well informed." |
 Satan's only fear. Any doubt? |
 One of Satan's fiendish earthly manifestations. |
 Satan's brides are chosen to bear his ungodly spawn. |
 Typical German satanists. |
 He doesn't quite worship himself yet. |
 Real Jewish thought and actual Biblical text paints Satan as something more like God's prosecutor. So, Godot is the Devil. Good times. |
 Satin |
 Satan in his pig suit ready to give you some loving. |
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 He's only really evil in the off-season. |
See Also
- Satanism
- Christian
- God
- Halloween Satan's birthday
- Jesus
- Ann Coulter
| Satan is part of a series on Religion 
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Deities Prophesies Religious Holidays Religious Icons Fanclubs ArchVillians Key: * represents a Deity or Holiday of Trollianity.
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