David Hasselhoff
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Have you ever wondered what happens when you mix an actor, singer, alcoholic and a total raging fag together? An explosion of fail that could only come from the 80's.
David Hasselhoff (aka The Hoff) is a fine specimen of the great culture explosion of the 80's and is miraculously still around due to people being fucktards. Hasselhoff is a camwhore of the highest caliber. He thinks that because people in Germany love him that he is a celebrity. You know, German people loved Hitler. Much to Hasselhoff's chagrin, his prime passed along with the eighties and the fall of Baywatch.
Hasselhoff: The Career
The Hoff became famous at least 100 years ago through his role as detective Michael Knight in the 80's TV series Knight Rider. Knight drove a talking car named KITT. This series is probably the biggest example of why the 80's Ruled. As a follow up and as some would say was a sad successor to Knight Rider, he made a magical show full of boobs and whores called Baywatch. Baywatch was to soft core, nationally televised porn as YouTube is to aspiring soft core cam whores in the here and now. Last thursday, Hasselhoff went on to have a singing career due to the Germans' terrible taste in music, which further stoked the flames of his already dangerously inflated ego. Since his fall from glory in the eyes of television and the eighties, he's mostly just had cameo roles in movies and adverts as the great human meme in attempts at making things moar funny plz. In less notable news he still makes his appearances on TV by still getting interviews and whatnot. In an attempt at reclaiming fame he released a tongue and cheek but still gay single which managed to get a number 3 in the charts.
Hasselhoff: The E-Fame Years
Because people on the internet are lol-cows and deserve to be shot, there was and probably still is a campaign to help get a Hasselhoff single to number one on teh charts. To date their success has yet to be achieved in this goal, where it to succeed it'd serve as a mighty troll on popular music.
Hasselhoff: IRL animatronic freakshow
As David Hasselhoff's IRL fame has waned, he has exhibited an obvious downward spiral whose only possible destination is one of the lower circles of hell. A notorious alcoholic who has been forced to go to rehab for the benefit of humanity, he if often sighted driving around southern California in a black 1982 Trans Am, drunk, growling and grumbling while referring to himself in the third person.
Chew it well, Hoff. 6 minute version. Televised example of writing yourself into an article |
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David Hasselhoff as an IRL meme
Due to some freak accident, possibly related to Hitler, the last syllable in Hasselhoff's name has caught on as a fad. This involves mangling a word by fitting in "Hoff", eg:
- "Hoffen" instead of "often"
- "Hoff" instead of "crap"
Hassling the Hoff
Internet Haet Campaign
some years ago, when Hasselhoff was popular the fuck he was! over 9000 hate Hasselhoff sites sprang up round the web. When the Hoff himself found out, he got all butthurt and sued the fuck out of them. As a result, they were all baleeted, but not before someone Copied the lot and submitted them as reviews for his CDs on Amazon.
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 Run, Gary! Guess where that thumb is heading? |
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 Merry Hoffmas Bitches |
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