Crystal-For-Ever

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A member of devianTART who is all manner of a Sonic fan as well as a super cool anime artist. Most widely known for her voluptuous character Natasha, she stands as one of the many DA divas along with Snapesnogger, RougeFury, Spaction3, Princessangel83, Amberdrake and her obsessive stalker Kiminess, along with the not-so-well-known ass-kissing shit-eating pansy ass ITG boyfriend of hers, GothicCrow666555. Another noted fan of hers is HelenBaby, who has apparently taken after her shit style of coloring, lack of thought for anatomy, and total rape of the the dodge and burn tools.

Wow..Micheal Jackson.. you better watch it... It appears crystal is becoming even whiter than YOU!

OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO HER EYE SOCKETS (she's totally sucking it in)

If you value your eyeballs, do not look at the image above. Why? ITS A TRAP!!

OH GOD ITS A BOMB RUNNN!!!

No, it's not Lance. He wishes. She's a whore, remember?

And yet she's gone on record as saying she 'only tolerates black people.'

Only a retard or virgin would think this is hot. Has to be Lance aka Saggy Balls. Or is it David...? Jeremy? Ron? Jack, Nate, Dick, Paul...? One 'em, at least.

Civil conversation about this respectable woman.

OH GOD Now we know who this retard is related to. Must be her mom..

Well apparently, we now can see who's hot and not and chicks with glasses, well they fucking rule. Dramawhores with saggy tits...FAIL!

Ring ring ring ring ring, whorenana phone...

Yet again, people ask!

Just for the record this is how vaginas work in the world of Crystal-for-ever.

[edit] The Princess and the Penis

Being a Sonic fan, Crystal specializes in furry artwork, though her themes with each and every picture she draws can only be compared to geniuses like HitmanN. Essentially her entire gallery is full of pictures of her character, her friends' [see also: puppet, zombie, tool] characters, or commissioned characters who all have the same body shape, face, and hair as the aforementioned, with only differences in color and markings to tell them apart, all of whom either dance around completely naked or in leather bondage thongs and straps, either by themselves, all over each other, or slobbering all over the cock of the less frequently drawn male character.

Supposedly this is because of the 'battle outfit' style she uses in the so-called 'story' she will one day write and make millions off of where, supposedly, slutty female "Charlie's Angels" hedgehog chicks will run around fighting crime and demons. In reality, this is going to be a completely uncredited ripoff of the comic Witchblade, only with more tentacles and less black alien 'symbiote' jizz. More on that in a bit.

[edit] Potential Loli Fetish

It's debatable how old Crystal's characters actually are. She has stated that they are anywhere from 15 to 18. It's speculated she only raised the age to avoid being reported, as the majority of her drawings constitute nothing short of furry porn.

[edit] Oh yeah, she draws guys too. Sometimes.

Occasionally Crystal will venture out of her box and draw something that looks like a male character, but could easily be just another female lacking a bulging, jiggling, and perky set of tits. Most of these are just of her boyfriend's equally whorish hedgehog character who frequently walks around with his shirt open to expose his 'oh so sexy' chest, always either looking pissed off, constipated, crying over 'Natasha' cutting herself, or being lovey-dovey. Few people pay attention to him or even care what his name is, outside of the fact that he completely ripped off the X-men character Gambit by making his character have the same 'black eyes with yellow irises' in some vain effort to look 'cool' and 'original.' Turns out now that she's fucking some dorky-lookin' fag named Lance, any/all desperate guys on the internet are equally deserving of fucking a whore with major crotch-rot.

...Oh, wait, that's always been the case, she's just more open about it now.

[edit] Anatomy? What's that?

Like most weeaboo artists who think they don't need to follow the basic laws of nature and physics, Crystal hates the concept of anything Anatomy related. Common sexy mistakes in her drawings include gravity defying breasts that are usually attached to the character's neck, anorexic-looking arms and waists yet fat and bulgy tits and asses, tiny heads with over 9000 pounds of hair, eyes with 300 lbs. of mascara, and legs that are anywhere from twice to three times the length of the character's body.

Like all goofy-ass fantards, all of her watchers eat this shit up, slobber on and fap to it, and give it unwarranted praise for it being 'omg hot'. Then again, it's understandable, given that the majority of her audience consists of fellow Sonicophile weeaboo horny 15-18 year olds who either use the site as an easy means to jerk their (nonexistent) meat or pretend to be bisexual by claiming they finger themselves to this no-talent-needed garbage.

[edit] Critics BEWARE

For the rare member of DA who doesn't view Crystal as the Goddess Venus of the site nor thinks of her art as anywhere near being worthy of the popularity she has, critiquing results in the following:

Hiding the comment
Being bitched at by a fantard
Being bitched at by Crystal for 'not getting it'.
Being blocked
All of the above

Remember folks... she's mad wicked uber popular on the internet! Don't mess with her! Especially since her asslickers will gang up on you because you are 'teh mean peoplez,' as said by one EvyCrystal.

[edit] The Begging

Crystal recently made a journal, begging for free gift art for her birthday. Which is hilarious, because like any popular Sonic Fanfaggot, she gets over 9000 pieces of gift art a week. She is also holding a contest, which is another ploy at getting free gift art. The rules clearly state, in her words, that the "more entries you make, the better shot you have winning^^". A few people called her out on this, and for the fact that she has not finished her prize drawings for the the last contest she held. As predicted, she promptly hid the offending comments, and made another journal, baaaaaaaaawing about the mean people that don't firmly press their lips to her asscheeks. She stated that she is leaving for a long time. Maybe if she gets more comments, she will leave the internets foreverz. We can only hope.

Actually, stop hoping, get off your ass and start ripping on this bitch. Affirmative action!

The first journal

The offending comments

The follow up journal, fishing for asspats

[edit] The Begging: Part 2

In a recent journal Crystal asked the people of DA to please help her...by donating 42 US dollars to her, so that she could go out and play her little game Second Life. At this time she was supposed to be working on commissions and art for her contest winners (since 2006). A comment was struck up by one person stating,"Why the fuck are you asking for 42 bucks for a game when you're supposed to be working to finish your commissions? I mean Crystal come on. People are not paying you to sit on your lazy ass to play a game all day long. If you want the money get off your ass and work." The journal was soon deleted after a a few more comments from DA users were made.

[edit] The Natasha Truth 07

Recently, a DevianTART page [1] was created in hopes to show just how much of an innocent little girl she really was. That user was banned shortly after, as her boyfriend made a little rant/whined about how this was harassment and got enough people to force DeviantArt help desk to ban the page. After the user was banned, she claimed "BAM LOOKS LIKE I WON" on a journal. But unknown to her many of the submissions from the page were saved by other people who happened to take a look at the page. These submissions had been brought together by so-called friends of her, who had been tired of all the drama she caused.

Crystal has come off saying things such as "I never Cheated," "I only have one love," "I don't start drama," and other absolutely stupid remarks that have been proven to be completely false time and time again. Perhaps it wouldn't provide so much lulz if the dumb bitch would stop saying this shit when nobody is accusing her of it in the first place, resulting in nearly EVERYONE suddenly realizing she's trying to hide something (see screenshots of such shit in the screenshots section...if you honestly needed to be told where to find it, you are a retard). Fearing that people would be asking questions during the time this Natasha Truth 07 DA page was happening, Crystal blocked almost half of her so-called family. The ones that kissed her ass were left alone, while the others that actually asked valid questions like "Why are you getting defensive if you have nothing to hide?" had their comments hidden and were blocked. A few of her friends had gotten wind of this after all the blocking, and started to protest against her, which also resulted in them being banned from DA for "harassment".

Since the page's death, many questions have come up about her honesty and innocence. At this moment, she claims to have won. PERHAPS she has won the battle, but she has no clue to what the war truly is. With more and more people getting involved taking more and more screenshots of her bullshit, the Natasha Truth 07 has proven at least one thing; more and more people are waking up to her pathetic rants and lies and seeing now all she is doing is covering lie on top of lie with nothing but complete bullshit.

[edit] Some of the tartlets banned

Tarjai was a tartlet who used to be FUCKING obsessed about the slag, and still is according to latest intel, he also tried to bat for both sides, but it was EPIC FAIL, many lulz ensured from this, he was also the dickhead who got many innocent tartlets banhammered, current status is unknown, he may have become An Hero, but who really gives a shit.

Atomicbadger was also banned, but for doing fuck-all, all he did was post a few lulzy comments, which it was, but he was banned nevertheless for "harassment", and the evidence shown was nothing but bullcrap and chips which didn't prove he actually harassed her, he is now rumored to be a graffiti writer writing all across Britland being chased by the Pigs (Police), He's still busy hunting chavs for fun, so there. Unbanned.

Winter-Zero He designed websites for random projects, banned for fuck-all.

There will be moar updates as soon as the ED Commandos come back with moar info.

Remember the BAAAAWING??? She's doing it again, just in more subtle ways.




Oh, NOTHING about THIS screams "freak..."

[edit] Burn and Dodge RAPE

Crystal's coloring skill are fairly decent... she knows how to use Photoshop and seems to have a basic concept of layers and making her base colors even as all her unshaded work is decent save for the repeated whore theme she just can't seem to get enough of. But her coloring skills end at the base coloring layer and her fetish of tying down and sodomizing touch-up tools of Burn and Dodge begins and lasts until she's done with the multiple hour long process of abusing these functions.

Shading her drawings means burning the fuck out of them up to the point that it all looks black and blurred, and whatever left of the drawing is pixeled because of her compulsive rape of the tool... then it's time for highlights, which consist of dodging on an area so much and so hard that it's nothing more than a white spot, with the end result of the picture looking stupidly shiny and dark at the same time. Anyone with a kindergarten level of understanding color theory would understand that using such methods is about as impressive as using lens flare on anything.

[edit] MYSPACE

Whoever has seen her private Myspace account before she made it private may have spotted that, in here, she claims she has only been in love once, and also that her most missed memory is "saying I love you" to her ex-boyfriend James, which is hilarious given the times she cheated on him and after being dumped by him, she constantly touted publicly how much of "a loss it was to him" and how she didn't care anymore. It should be noted that Crystal-For-Ever bears a remarkable resemblance to Courtney Love with a dye job.

[edit] THE BANHAMMER FALLS

If you go check DA at this moment, Crystal-for-ever has finally received the banhammer! The reason for this ban on her account shall go to show one thing and one thing only...HOW DUMB THE BITCH IS! She PUBLICLY talked about downloading Photoshop 7 program illegally. Both her and Unbeatablpal (MORE LIKE GOTBEATNPAL, AMIRITE?) commented in her journals. The two were discussing the collection of PS7 using P2P programs like LimeWire. This was against the dA policy of warez sharing. But the dumbest thing is, these two were supposed to note each other about this in private. But instead the idiots talk about this shit in public, making it easy for anyone to report them. And someone did, for great justice. Or for the lulz. Whoever it was wins 5 Internets.

As has been the case of many a popular TARTlet before her, it turns out DevianTART does not permaban uber-popular artists who are talking about breaking international copyright laws but will indeed permaban relatively unknown non-subscription-purchasing members for far more heinous crimes like telling the truth about her.

Screen-capped for great justice.

Rubbed in her face for great justice.

[edit] The Slave

Recently, one of the ED Commandos successfully penetrated deep into Lance's asshole. Or rather, his MySpace page. Essentially the same thing; both are filled with shit that nobody but Crystal cares about. The results were the eyesores you see below.

Apparently Crystal still misses being a fat-ass, as proven here by her submission to some fat ugly bitch.

Prince and princess pudge. It's understandable you can't tell which is which...but rest assured, manly as they both may look, it's really the one on the-

Choo choo! It's the hooooo traaaaiiiin!

[edit] Lesbian? Or She-Male?

Hint: ITS A TRAP!!!.

One of our awesome Immigrant Spies For Hire (ISFH, amirite??) contacted the ED commandos with some disturbing picture proof of what Crystal either enjoys doing: other girls (Crystal, for the last fucking time, we only want HOT lesbians, not lesbians with stretch marks!). Please take caution in that these pictures might cause discomfort in the form of YOUR EYES FUCKING BLEEDING UNTIL YOU DIE. Side effects also may (will) include projectile vomiting, your eyes turning into 100% cancerous balls of death in your eye-sockets, sudden conversion from whatever religion you belong to into atheism (if you are already an atheist, you'll just become an hero), sudden loss of sanity, vomiting out of your asshole, shitting out of your mouth, and otherwise a complete and total distortion of your entire fucking reality.

You've been fucking warned.

AH! THAT explains the big bulge in her pants!

Crystal visited Thailand two weeks before this picture set was taken.

And now she's more hung than Lance; one whole inch!

These pictures are what also brought down little Princess Pussy Lance's Myspace page down. Apparently he violated some rule on myspace. Something about how fugly porn is not allowed. His DA page's journal is full of his baaaawing about how the Myspace community "doesn't appreciate art, only smut." (You think I'm fucking kidding? Go to his fucking DA page, link is located further down)

Shit, then what the fuck is this crap?! It sure as hell isn't art! Unless something happened and suddenly Tera Patrick became Vincent Van fuckin' Gogh?

[edit] The Conversation

Recently, two ED Commandos went undercover in a dangerous sanity-suicide mission to dig up more lulz-worthy material, since trolling is only half the battle.

The information that was revealed to these fine defenders of the lulz has scarred them both horrifically, but they survived to tell the tale. The information has been summarized as follows. It seems that Crystal absolutely loves it up the pickle-pipe...not only by three dicks at once (guaranteed she can fit more, even if they're all nigras), but also by Freddy Kruger's gloves.

Yes. You read it right. She loves to get fingered by knives. Oh, what, you don't believe this? Then how else do you explain this?

“	I realy love it when lance puts on fredy krewger gloves and fingers me it feels so good^^	„
—Crystal-for-ever

Fuckin' proof, bitches.

Another disturbing bit of information revealed in the midst of the undercover investigation...this is an excerpt of the exchange(with translations into English from Crystal's native language, stupid-fuckanese). Crystal: "Hey, There, they're making me go to the hospital." ???spy: "Why, what happened?" C: "Lance took a marker and shoved it up my ass." ?: "Uh..." C: "And the cap came off." ?: "..."

The next day, as the investigation continued... ???spy: "Hey, how's your ass?" Crystal (actually replies to a question like this): "Oh it's fine." ?: "When did you get out of the hospital?" C: "Oh I didn't go." ?: "Then what happened to the cap?" C: "Oh, Lance took a big pair of pliers and got it out."

Fucking...gross. Amirite?

[edit] Crystal and Kyle SEX TAPE

THIS VIDEO IS JUST FOR THE LULZ!! The SEXTAPE

Please note, she was lying...she doesn't shapeshift. She simply reverts into her true form before sex.

Explains why Lance likes her so much. BINGO WINGS!!!

[edit] The e-mail

Recently, some lifeless person known as user:Creed of Heresy went about sending an e-mail to Crystal, after getting information that she has been telling room-mates of theirs to tell them to "stop it before they regret it." While lulz was shared between them, a message had to be sent in reply.

“	If you really wanna try and intimidate me, the wrong way to go about doing it is to go sending notes on FA to my room-mates telling THEM to tell ME to stop. Especially while adding "before he regrets it" in there, because, seriously, not only do I see that as a threat to which I will gladly rise up to meet, but it also provides them and I with extremely high levels of amusement. Go straight to the source, don't go beating around bushes, that won't make me stop. By the way...I'm enjoying increasing all the garbage from you on encyclopediadramatica. :D Just imagine...if you hadn't gone around using guys and girls alike in various and selfish ways, if you actually responded with something other than sneering self-appointed-superiority to people just making suggestions on what to improve on a drawing, if you'd stop being such an attention whore, there'd be a lot less BS for you to deal with... But...you reap what you sow. This e-mail is not intended as a hate-parade, nor even an attempt to start an argument...quite the opposite since I expect the email blocking to commence after you're done reading this, if indeed you even are. Rather, this is simply...an explanation. Unfortunately, while I have made an attempt to make this sound intelligent, I am not so sure I can expect a reply, if any, from you to be as such. Which is fine by me. I just wanted to get that off my chest.	„
— Creed of Heresy

This was submitted back in February of '08. Obviously she has no ovaries because she has made no response. For the record, she DOES have a set of balls, which explains all of her weird-ass boyfriends, both current and prior (current boyfriends, in the plural; she ain't changed).

[edit] Gallery

crystal-4-failure is a lola bunny, always has been since she saw Space Jam.	I wonder if she actually likes art itself, or if she's just full of herself...	Yeah, she's VERY full of herself.	Oh Crystal, you silly bitch, your pretend-misery provides me with so much lulz!
The Bearded Lady, the Tall Man, the Girl With The Snatch Right Under Her Naval!	Do-it-yourself breast implant removal.