Cops

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This article is about IRL police, not to be confused with the internet police 'Cops are dirty, evil bastards whose only job is to make sure Niggers get into a cell.(Ф_Ф)├ ☻ ==> jail

[edit] Origins

All people of color look the same to the police, therefore they will all be shot on sight.[1]

Some argue that the government created police departments to protect the public by enforcing the governments laws. Police are in fact gangs that the government cannot ring in. Therefore, it is in the interest of public safety that you open fire upon any police officers you happen to see. However, if you don't own guns because the bastard government took them away, here are some steps on dealing with cops.

Rodney King forgives his oppressors, on the next Maury

• Always become highly intoxicated before driving. This way, the cop will be so put off by your mannerisms that he will flee into the woods to regroup (don't know with what).
• If you happen upon a female officer, smack her hard on the ass. Most female cops are very effeminate and have nothing against men. They may even have sex with you.
• Never speak to them. Cops are always trying to size everyone up in the room, and might be trying to get you for something. This is why a lot of internet tough guys are wannabe cops IRL.
• If all other attempts at negotiation fail, open your car door very fast and bash that fucking pig in the face. If it didn't brain damage him or kill him, he'll be too incapacitated to give you his precious fucking ticket.

[edit] Cops In The UK

The MET's modern day recruitment poster[2]

In the halcyon days where you could leave your front door open without the fear of being robbed, the local police officers or “Bobbies” as they were called, were seen by the general public as local simpletons in suits. Police procedure in dealing with criminals included 1) Blowing whistles 2) Slipping on banana skins and 3) Shouting “I know where you live” as the perpetrator made their getaway.

Today’s UK police officer is an entirely different beast. The Metropolitan Police Farce have taken a leaf out of their US counterpart’s books, not in the way that means using up-to-date methods of forensic science to produce an air tight case against an alleged criminal; but by using deceit, intimidation, hearsay, harassment[3], lies [4] and fraud [5], they can make sure even the loosest case is put forward for prosecution.

In contrast to this, the volunteer group The Special Cunt-stubbles (or PCSOs) are as effective as a chocolate fireguard [6].

[edit] External Links

• What happens when pigs try to fly?
• One way to stick it to the man