Complaints Forum
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The Complaints Forum, or colloquially Complaints, is the most popular forum on DevianTART. Complaints is where users go to complain, and their complaints are met with more complaints about their complaint. These complaints about their complaints are met with complaints about users complaining about their original complaint in the Complaints Forum. The cycle is never ending.
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Purpose?
DeviantART is an epicenter of lulz revolving around temperamental 'artists' and pedophiles. Naturally, because of the dangerously high levels of dumbfuckery that DeviantTART is rife with, there exists the almighty COMPLAINTS FORUM, where DA's healthy population of furfags can climb onto their soapboxes and rant about Fursecution in long, pseudo-political tirades, and 16 year-old girls who claim to be TROO ARTEESTS can flock to whine about life in general. Because of this the trollability level of this particular forum is through the roof, as there is nothing moar lulzy than a bunch of socially-inept anime douchebags arguing over what created the universe or what country America will bomb next, and then thinking they are 100% right.
Forum Whores
On every DA forum, one's rank is measured by how many posts that person has made. TARTlets who do not have a post count in the tens of thousands are to be shunned as anti-social and worthless noncontributors in the great art community that is DA. Forum whores usually get sexual gratification by bragging about their Post Count. They are unable to obtain arousal from an image larger than 50x50 pixels.
Most Complaints Forum whores either wind up banned for trolling or become a senior during one of lolly's random, Nazi-esque seniorization sprees. A small minority continue posting until they finally drink themselves to death or work up the courage to cut their wrists lengthwise this time. Beginning whores are put under scrutiny by older whores, and they are constantly called "trolls" or "spammers", and reported the fuck out of, for fear the new-whores might get some reputation or possibly in the near future supersede them.
The most famous forum whore ever was Shadowgamers, an english schoolboy, obsessed with mecha-porn and genital mutilation. He spent a good portion of his pathetic life posting in caps lock and watching as the other forum whores battled each other for cock-sucking rights. His reign ended when he was banned for being an Accident Retard. Not one person has been pathetic enough to replace him as of yet.
As Shadowgamers was finally granted the coveted ' ! ' at least 100 years ago, noone remembers precisely what he did to get so well-known. Most of the current Complaints regulars worship his memory with no real idea who he was. It's a totally unprecedented phenomenon.
Most of these people rightly feel that their lives will be totally without meaning if they don't lurk constantly, waiting for some poor moron to show up with a halfway-objectionable position or behavior. When a decent victim appears, they proceed to harass him/her/it with acres and acres of tl;dr argument, old memes, and all around drama. This ritual, which is what passes for lulz on the pathetic hellhole that is DeviantART, will continue until all threads have been locked, at least 100 people have been blocked from the victim's userpage, and the victim has commited suicide. When no n00bs are forthcoming, the Complaints whores are forced to attack one another, in order to convince themselves that they still know how to use Wikipedia to construct or knock down pointless, boring arguments.
How To Be Popular On Complaints
Are you a truly sad and pathetic motherfucker with delusions of grandeur? An Aussie faggot, a bald-headed dyke? A 98-pound transsexual? A Jew whose imaginary friends are emotes? A 28 year old ex heroin addict who still lives with his parents? Do you fap to Pokemon, believe Obama is the Antichrist, love guns more than women, know every Anime by heart? Are you a pedophile, a Nazi, a furfag, or just all-around scum? Not to worry! Just because you're friendless everywhere else doesn't mean you can't be popular on Complaints! Any lifeless, perverted basement-dweller can become a beloved legend just by following these simple rules:
- 1. Don't type in l33t, chatspeak or subtext. Treat anyone who does like they were boasting of beating AIDS-infected infants.
- 2. Talk constantly about your loathing for weeaboos, fantards and /b/tards, even when you're all of the above.
- 3. Be ready and willing to pose as an expert on everything from Star Trek to microbiology. Keep Google open at all times to keep the deception going. Never, ever back down from a debate point, no matter how stupid. If all else fails, post a dictionary entry and claim it proves your point, even when it clearly doesn't.
- 4. Never, ever post a thread that anyone could possibly have made before you. Consult the Dead Horse list in this article, and remember, all current events are instantly old news. The Complaints Forum is constantly on guard for a deluge of posts from morons complaining about them, and the regulars are so vigilant that a single thread constitutes a deluge.
- 5. Other Complaints Forum regulars are allowed to pull nonsense that would get a newcomer flamed like a naked Vietnamese girl. Hell, if they're established enough, they can even admit they are a pedophile with a sexual attraction to burning, naked Vietnamese girls, and be treated with total sympathy, while other non regulars will be flamed for expressing their dislike for people who have sex with children.
- 6. Complaints Forumers only flame people who are asking for it. A good way to tell if someone is asking for it is that at least two regulars will be flaming them.
- 7. Do not ever, ever, ever take things seriously. Displaying any emotion beyond cynical aloofness makes you an emo, and if there's one thing Complaints doesn't like, it's emos.
- 8. Last but not least, get a memorable avatar so that people can be assed to recognize you.
- 9. And if you are HerbalDrink or complaining about your job...then put a "Do not" in a list.
Now you're on your way to becoming a full-fledged Forum Whore! Wow. Die in agony.
Counter-Threads
Often, when someone makes a post that is controversial but lame or just has a vague enough title, some idiot decides to rewrite their post in a stupid, mocking manner and repost it with a similar thread title. This usually results in the new topic getting flamed for being a "cunterthread", and filled with predictable variations of the phrase "in before lock".
Sometimes this snowballs until there are so many counter threads of one topic that nobody can even tell if there is single authentic complaint on the board, which understandably gets annoying (so do it faggot). If you wish to observe this phenomenon in action, come to the Complaints Forum at around 2 AM Pacific Time, and make a thread titled something like "Faith", with a one-sentence body. The absence of mods and the lifelessness of whoever else is on at the time almost guarantees that the board will be filled with half-assed counterthreads within five minutes.
It should be noted that one of these lifeless shit heads once made the best argument ever in this form with a counter thread titled, "My counter thread" which merely contained, "Your thread sucks". Noone knows what happened to this poster, or where he/she/it might be today.
Counterthreads are a prime example of RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.
- As of today counter-threads have been outlawed. even the almighty Lolly is not immune [1]
EDIT: Lolly has found the cure for AIDS, and it's called preferential treatment. This does, however, roll over onto all deviants, so the admins can avoid looking like the huge hypocrites they are.
Beating A Dead Horse
Topics That Are Dead Horses
The idea of beating a Dead Horse is enough to drive most Complaints Forumers to PETA membership. Any posting of a thread which is considered to be Dead Horse will be met with at least 100 horse-or-panda-related plz accounts. The poor OP will be absolutely flooded with remarks about how nobody cares in the slightest about this Dead Horse. Anime is perhaps the worst dead horse topic that even those who don't even like anime got fed up with them because nobody would ever shut the fuck up about it; it got so bad that the admins made a sticky thread for it, which no longer exists because the admins are stupid and thought this would "facilitate discussion", if by that they mean endless wanking against and by anime fangirls. A variant to these threads are "Why is there so much x art?" threads usually started by dumbfucks who don't know how to use the search engine properly.
Another popular topic in the Complaints Forum (one they NEVER tire of) is art thieves. Replies to threads such as this are full of fail and feeble attempts to understand the basics of Copyright Law, or law in general.
Other dead horse topics include:
- Encyclopedia Dramatica
- Dead Horses
- Complaining about Complaints
- Emo
- Goth
- Furfags
- America
- Religion
- Artistic Nudes
- Pageviews
- Popularity
- Rule 34
- ___ isn't art
- Large Hadron Collider
- Cats
See Also
Some memorable threads
- Arrgh...Encyclopedia Dramatica. (serious business alert)
- Someone Reporting Child Pornography Forumers tell her to GTFO and make *masturbation jokes until Lolly ruins all the fun
- IT IS SO HARD TO GET POPULARITY
- Complaints ganging up to defend the honor of lolicon
- Every other country in the world is jealous of america
- Lolly trolling now that he is not a $ysOp he is drunkenly trolling the forums.
- This is what the note system is for See also: [2] <--- Cybersex archived for great justice
- Yes, let's all reject beauty Unch opens up a can of aestheticism because magnumornjenga doesn't think Grendel's mother should be a MILF
External Link
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