Club Penguin
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Club Penguin is similar to Habbo, but intended for young penguin enthusiasts. Operating as a secret Nazi furry training facility, it will lure your children in with cute cartoon avatars, before turning them onto the pleasures of yiffing.
At least 100 years ago, Club Penguin was invented by Sage Freehaven in an attempt to infest the minds of America's youth and promote furfaggotry in public schools. In a matter of days, children were discussing the game on their favorite internet forums. If You ever see your kid playing this game of retard furry men in penguin costumes, you should probably find the nearest camera to record your an-hero.
The Joys of Club Penguin
Club Penguin boasts a wide variety of fun things to do, such as chatting and waddling about. You can also throw snowballs or some shit. Other than that, there isn't much to do, besides pretending to eat pizza in virtual pizzerias. Psh, and they say kids these days don't know how to have fun.
A wanna-be Internet vigilante group named #iamthewalrus aggravate the hell out of Club Penguin fansites run by 13 year old boys. Being Anonymous-emulating faggots, they try to carry out "/i/nsurgency-esque raids" by DDoSing shitty forums, trolling kids' flash chats, and posting dox on pre-teens.
If ever prompted by another user to trade MySpace in the game world, immediate direct them to meatspin. They may also be interested in goatse.
By the way, you won't get banned for saying ass, so please try and fit it into your Club Penguin vocabulary. Expect to be corrected for your naughty language by at least thirty-five 7 year olds.
Club Penguin is also one of Disney's newest furry fuck festivals, in which they recruit your children to be a part of their Jewish Furry Empire.
Memberships
Club Penguin is also known for its membership feature. With membership, you can buy things such as clothes and furniture. It's Furcadia, but for kids! Some argue that this money is better spent on virtual clothing than pot, but these kids will just end up making jenkem to get high regardless. Only desperate animal lovers would pay 5 dollars to get accessories for their penguin avatars anyway, right?
See Also
 |
Club Penguin is part of a series on Gaming |
| Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
