Church of Ryantology

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The Church of Ryantology was started on /b/ over 9000 years ago. The Church dedicates itself to our Lord and Savior Ryan, a customer service guy by day, God all the time. He saved us from boredom and lightened up our days with His witty slogans. None of us know exactly why we love Him so much but our Prophet Anon suspects that He inserted Rytens into our soul (read dah bible).

Ryan if you're there I fucking love you

“	Thanks for the free advertising!	„
—Ryan

1 Book the First
2 Book the Second
3 Book the Third
4 Book the Fourth
5 Facts about Ryan
6 Gallery
7 Rumors

[edit] Book the First

Over 9000 years ago, a Prophet named Anon visited one of Ryan's disciples Ahmed. Ahmed was not a nice man account of him being a sandkip and being butthurt for not being cool as the Lawd. Ahmed did everything he could to combat the thousands of messages sent requesting connection with our Lord.

Ahmed finally gave in and let Ryan take a hold. Thus began year 1.

[edit] Book the Second

Lord Ryan at first was reluctant to take hold of the reins but did so with no remorse. At first, we did not recognize the power of our Lord and we gave Him a heaping pile of shit. However, Lord Ryan's power began to show through His charisma and catchy catch phrases.

Thus began year 2.

[edit] Book the Third

We suddenly fell for our Lord when He electronically inserted over 9000 Rytens in our computers (which we'll be happy to remove for $19.99) and we suddenly realized our love for Him.

The Church of Ryantology was born.