CIA
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Hey! |  | This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on google? Want to add something? Join us! |  |
|---|
Do not try to find the CIA; that's impossible. Instead try to realize the truth, there is no CIA.
Contents |
Overview
The Club for International Anarchy (CIA) was founded at least 100 years ago by the Artificial Intelligence Computer (AIC) as an escape from the drudgery and laws of society. The manifesto of CIA members, or "agents" causing chaos and mayhem by any means available. To this end they have been known to experiment with psychoactive drugs, mind control, and blanket surveillance. They are constantly watching everything, listening to everything, smelling everything (including your sister's panties). They have eyes everywhere, from orbital satellites to traffic cameras, all pointed at your bedroom window. The CIA are highly secretive, but are widely known for such pranks as illegal phone tapping, inciting revolution, kidnapping, assassination of key political figures, blowing up sandniggers with missiles, and even leaving lint in the clothes dryer trap. They are rumored to be closely associated with the Jews. Many people have seen the Men in Black but are unable to recall the event. They won't let you remember. The CIA also has a habit of ousting democratically elected leaders, and also ruining the lives of other people for the benefit of the USA.
You now have 38 seconds to get the fuck out of your house.
Rules of CIA
- You do not talk about CIA.
- You DO NOT talk about CIA.
- If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the mission is over.
- Two agents to a mission.
- One mission at a time.
- Black shirts, black shoes (Johnny Cash, for example, was a CIA agent).
- Missions will go on as long as they have to.
- If this is your first night at CIA, you have a mission.
- If a mission goes bad then you know where the cyanide tablets are.
- CIA must not be confused with FBI or IBM.
When In Doubt: DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING
December 7 2008: The CIA has taken to acting butthurt by destroying videotapes of the interrogation of Al-Qaeda operatives in 2005, defending the controversial move as necessary to protect CIA staff.
| —Hayden. Plame WHO? |
'Waterboarding' film that ‘CIA doesn't want you to see' launched
Some girl struggles through news. Extra video points for an hero's mention.
C.I.A.
See Also
 |
CIA is part of a series on acronyms. |
