Future
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The future is everything that happens right after you read this article. The future also refers to things that have already happened. Many things have happened and will happen in the future. Here is a timeline.
Timeline O' The Future
- 1947 - Aliens crash in Roswell, New Mexico. However it is later revealed that it was just a bunch of Mexicans who have traveled in a time machine from year 2144.
- 1985 - Dr. Emmet Brown and Martin McFly Sr. become the first known time travelers, and return back to the future.
- 1997 - SkyNet, a popular Linux distribution of the US Government suffers a major core dump, causing it to accidentally deploy all American missles against Soviet Russia.
- 1999 - Phillip J. Fry is cryogenicly frozen.
- 2000 - Mike Nelson gets shot into space and must watch shitty Sci-Fi films with his gay robot slaves.
- 2012 - World ends allegedly.
- 2015 - Dr. Emmet Brown and Martin McFly Sr. travel again further into the future to stop Griff Tannen from ballsing things up for the rest of humanity.
- 2016 - Gay Atheist Senator Jim Maynard is elected president. Collective bricks are shat by conservative retards leading to the 10 month civil war of 2016-2017.
- 2021 - A group of marine biologists living aboard an underwater sea lab will become the subject of a cartoon on the famously elitist Adult Swim; television designed for people who think they are smarter than everybody else, but not quite smart enough to stop watching the fucking television.
- 2026 - New islands will randomly pop into existence on the world map.
- 2030 - Flying cars will be invented.
- 2031 - Anonymous destroys the Church of Scientology.
- 2032 - Citizens of San Angeles are terrorized by famous nigger Wesley Snipes. He is ultimately defeated by a suave Sylvester Stallone and a totally fuckable Sandra Bullock.
- 2035 - A bishie faggot almost becomes Dracula. Meanwhile Will Smith fights some robots.
- 2041 - Famous home shopping center Lowe's is aquired in a hostile takeover by Home Depot Gmbh (Now run by Germans). People realize the future isn't all that different from 2005.
- 2077 - Prepared for a nuclear or biological attack from China, the President and the Enclave retreats to remote sections around the globe and make contingency plans for continuing the war. A few months later, Nuka Cola Quantum is released to the public just hours before the bombs are launched. Who struck first is unknown, and it is not even known if the bombs came from China or America. Other countries, seeing the missiles on their way, launch their planes and fire their warheads as well. Air raid sirens sound, but very few people go into vaults, thinking it is a false alarm. The Vaults are sealed. What ensues is two hours of nuclear bombardment upon the earth's surface. The effects are far worse than most imagined. The earth's faults shift violently. Mountain ranges thrust themselves through the soil. Whole lands are submerged under floods of water. The Necropolis Vault never closes. Once it becomes known that the other vaults have sealed, people within Bakersfield, CA attempt to force their way into Vault 12 to protect themselves and their families.
- 2101 - War begins. Bases are belong to CATS. Zigs are moved for great justice.
- 2144 - Mexicans steal a time machine, get inside while drunk on bathtub tequila and accidentally travel back to 1947 and crash in Roswell, New Mexico.
- 2999 - Phillip J. Fry is defrosted and begins his life in the 31st Century but is still a loser.
See Also
